Teen Mom Reunion Recap: Two Seats for Gary

teen-mom-reunion-maci

It’s fitting that MTV would kick me in the teeth one last time with the part two of the Teen Mom reunion being about Maci for about 45 minutes.  For reasons unbeknownst to me, Maci looks like Japanimation come to life with the black streak in her hair that no one is doing anywhere.  This is one of those times that if I were Dr. Drew I would ask Maci if the carpet matches the drapes.  I mean, it’s gotta look like a ginger skunk down there, of course, with a case of “the rabies.”  We learn a lot about Maci during her segment, like how bat sh*t crazy this bricks chick really is.  Apparently Kyle has cheated on her and so she packed up her stuff, grabbed Bint-Lee and moved out of the mold-infested bungalow.  It seems that Maci caught Kyle cheating on her after she saw something “electronic” on her computer that he accidentally left open.  Um, electronic?  What in the holy hell is she talking about?  Electronic on her computer?  Is she referring to a calculator?  I’m lost.  Perhaps, Kyle wrote “boobless” upside-down the calculator app and accidentally left it open?  Or maybe it was just albino caveman porn?  One may never know.  All we do know is that after they moved out Bint-Lee never really asked any questions about where his cartoon albino bulldog was hiding or why they no longer live in Section 8 housing and foreclosure.  We also know that Ryan was extremely supportive to Maci during this difficult time.  Hopefully she allowed him to throw it in a few times, you know, for good measure.  At the least let’s hope she let him dab Proactiv with a cotton ball on her “gentlemen greeter.”  Someone Tweet her that hard hitting question.

Since Kyle has no clue where he is, what he is, or what is going on, he decides to show up to the reunion and sit directly next to Maci even though they haven’t spoken a word since the breakup.  Since Kyle is on television he’s evidently decided to feather his hair a bit and then hit the top of it with some AquaNet.  I’m not quite sure where his actual eyes are and why his eyebrows seem to match the color of his skin.  He’s like Powder version of Whoopi Goldberg.  Seriously, where are his eyes?  So this whole “cheating” thing may have been blown a little out of proportion.  According to Ky-Jelly all he really did was chat with some old girlfriends online.  Uh, really?  Chat?  Was he in like a 1998 AOL Chatroom?  AlbinoBulldogs4Sluts?  Sadly I’m pretty sure he’d be unable to answer the simple A/S/L.  And, let’s face it, there’s no way he’d ever be able to crack the Captcha Code.  Kyle claims he’s never actually cheated, but Maci seems to think he “does chatroom” a lot in the past.  I mean, this poor bastard has to help take care of your son, deal with the cameras, and try to pretend that your face isn’t going to explode at a moments notice.  Let him chat with some sluts online whilst he gives himself a handy under the computer desk.  It’s the least you can do for him.  Either way, Kyle apparently wasn’t happy with Maci for the previous 5-months and they argued all the time so he was pretty much done anyway.  Too bad Kyle didn’t give Maci that additional baby like she begged for in 4 episodes.  That would have really worked out well.  Quite the busy Father’s Day in Chattanooga.

Meanwhile, Ryan and Dalis bust onto the scene.  Ryan is dressed like a backup dancer for a Vanilla Ice video and Dalis is dressed in the same color as Maci, but just looks better, younger, fresher, smarter, hotter, sluttier.  She’s like Pinterest and Maci is like the last days of Myspace.  I just wanted to make sure I covered all the bases so you knew exactly what I was talking about.  Maci is turning all 6′s and 7′s by telling Ryan and Dr. Drew that she doesn’t understand why they can’t all hang out for an hour in front of Bint-Lee.  Seriously she keeps harping on this for a little while and is looking glum like someone who denied her friend-request.  It was refreshing, however, that Ryan didn’t yawn once during this reunion and also explained that he is actually ok with Bint-Lee attending pre-school, just not on the days where Ryan has him.  I’m sure Ryan can just “teach ‘em” on those days himself.  Good luck with the second half of the alphabet, Bint!  No one uses any letters after “M” anyway.

I have to admit, Dalis is pretty well spoken, although she may be a little bit of a Pinocchio because every time Dr. Drew asks her a question about Maci she look up directly to the sky before she answers the question.  It’s ok though because hot girls are allowed to lie.  It says so in the Bible.  It’s right after the part that says you’ll burn in hell if you’re not a white man.  MTV has been airing a commercial where Maci claims to call out Dalis on some stuff that she doesn’t want to know about.  I was hoping she was pregnant with Ryan’s yawning fetus, but sadly that’s not the case.  Plus, Maci can’t get pregnant in the bum anyway.  I guess what happened was that Ryan and Dalis got into a fight so Ryan texted Maci that he wanted to go to her room and hang out with her and her friends.  So obviously he was looking for a gang-bang.  As he should.  As. He. Should.  Maci then texted back and told him he would have a better time if he was with her instead of a girl who misspells her own name on the regular.  It would be like if her name was Chicago and she spelled it Shicahggo.  It just makes no kind of sense.  Anyjunk, Maci and Dalis decide to bury the hatchet-face and even plan on getting coffee together so they can get to know each other better.  At one point Maci even says that when she’s not around, Dalis is actually the next best person in line to take care of Bint-Lee.  Dalis then says that Maci is a great mom.  Ryan looks freaked out, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to be banging them both at the same time in the green room as soon as this reunion wraps.

Later, since Amber is currently “occupado” somewhere else they bring out Gary for literally 5 minutes.  First off, he takes up legit two seats on the couch and looks like he’s about to fall off the set.  Second, he is literally dressed like a Smurf.  White shorts and a bright blue shirt.  He’s like “Obesity Smurf” which is, of course, Vanity Smurfs arch nemesis.  I was hoping drew would hand him a giant gift and it would explode upon opening and we’d all be done with this crap.  Dr. Drew decided to use Gary’s time to read a letter from Amber.  In the letter Amber takes responsibility for her actions, tells everyone she isn’t a bad person, and hopes that everyone watching will never want to be like her.  If she isn’t a live condom ad I don’t know what is.  Of course she take a little dig at Gary in the letter claiming she’s not sure if they’ll ever get back together since Gary is insecure in their relationship.  If I were Gary I would have just one word for her:  EXPENSIVE!

Dr. Drew claims he’s chatted with Amber on the phone prior to the show and she sounded like a changed person, sober, and on the right track.  Yeah, that’s not true.  Unless he was calling her in the slammer.  Dr. Drew also let’s Gary know that Amber is really nice when she is sober so you know she’s on drugs when she’s being mean and kicking the bag out of Gary on the regular.  Gary concludes is 3 minute segment by saying that Leah is really smart for her age and obviously gets that from him.  That and Type II…well, you know the rest.

In the end, all the girls come back with their children…except Cate and Ty because they sold their baby to white folk, in case you weren’t aware.  Leah is a little ham for the camera, which is quite dangerous considering that Gary really enjoys a little ham.  I’m joking.  He likes a lot of ham.  There’s a difference.  All the girls give some advice to Amber, which I believe was to do scissors as much as possible so she doesn’t get beat up in “gel.”  They all support her, but Cate supports her the most because she’s perfect.

And, well, that chapter of our lives is closed (unlike Amber’s legs in the prison system).  So why not join me on my Facebook page and all will be right with the world.

Comments

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  2. Kyle's Ross-Geller-White Teeth says:

    Why does Maci think her flirty texting with Ryan is OK but not Kyle’s facebook messages to other girls? I agree that Kyle shouldn’t be messaging other girls, but I’d hardly call it cheating. I think fame has gone to someone’s oversized head!

    I was really hoping Dr. Drew would grill Maci about manipulating Bint-lee with the whole birthday party invitation to Ryan. I actually thought he might since he handed Farrah’s ass to her about her Deborah/Michael issues and smothering Daniel. But alas, I was let down.

  3. One question: Was Kyle high or something? His eyes (though hard to see sometimes) were kind of blod shot. Also, he looks like hes dropping weight and fast– or was that just me who thinks this?

  4. I also noticed Kyle’s bloodshot eyes. I also heard Farrah mention that she has a new dog. What happened to Stitch? No one should be selling her anymore puppies! Patrick, your recap made my Wednesday as usual!

  5. slappie jones says:

    I have never seen a happier man in my whole life as “I just dodged a major bullet” Kyyyyy. I wonder if he and ryyyy and houston will go slam some drinks after the show and talk about bat -shit crazy maci. This whole teen mom has aged her significantly…she looks about 40 and did a very poor job disguising how much she wants yawny back. Anyone see her giving the ‘side eye’ when ryyyy put his hand on houstons knee? Awesome. It’s very impressive to me how fast they got the forklift off the stage that obviously dropped fat ass geaaaaary on the couch. I dozed off for a sec and thought I was the couch fixer infomercial with the two sumo wrestlers. Hey, I am certainly not a size two but he is just gross.

  6. slappie jones says:

    ***and thought I was WATCHING the couch fixer commercial. Damn, y’all.

  7. Amby's Hand Piercing says:

    I noticed that Dalis was looking up to the sky before she answered every question…..lying? Nervous habbit? who knows but she is an upgrade from Maci!

    Anywayss, on to the next big thing….bring on Barb, Janet and Suzi! :)

  8. April's Broken Toliet Seat says:

    Kyle looks like he got a new set of teeth. Was that just me who noticed this?

  9. Little boy broke says:

    Dr. Drew wants to kill Gary. I really believe this. I was waiting on him to give Gary a quick kick in the shin and claim that it’s “what amber would’ve wanted”.
    Also, I like dalis, but she and her voice were so nervous and shaky, I think I saw her vibrate 2 inches to the left of the couch. I was also hoping “drew” would’ve called maci out more on all of our hypocritical, jealous, control freak ways.

  10. Kyle's Ross-Geller-White Teeth says:

    @April’s Seat – You’re not the only one who noticed. Check out my screen name. :-D

  11. Oh we’re not quite done with these gems yet! There is still the unseen moments episode next week. Looks like ole Michael will make one last appearance.

    And seriously, Farrah got ANOTHER dog? I hate to think of what happened to Stitch. Sophia probably flushed it down the toilet or Farrah cooked it into one of her assignments. An A+ for chilli con Stitchy poo!

    Praise Babs and the rest of those bitches!
    TM2S3 10/2/12

  12. little boy broke haah youre name just made me laugh

  13. April's Broken Toliet Seat says:

    One more thing. I can’t believe I’m saying this but Leah looked so pretty! How the hell did Geeeary and Amb make a cute kid?

  14. Amby's Hand Piercing says:

    Chin cysts, where did you see 10/2/12 is when TM2 airs?

    i hope theres a trailer for that soon!

  15. I'mTooOldForThis says:

    So Maci thinks that if it weren’t for Bint-lee, she & Rhine would still be together. Um…. yeah, I don’t think so.

    I caught that about Farrah and demon-spawn getting another dog, too. WTF? And how long is that child going to have a pacifier? I bet there are orthodontists all over Omaha drooling over the money they could make off her in 10 years.

  16. social working degree says:

    Maci needs to quickly get over Rhine. he seems pretty into Dalis. also, she’s a huge hypocrite if she thinks flirty texts to Rhine are OK but Ky can’t do a little flirting of his own. she made some comment about “when I’m right I’m right and when I’m wrong I’m still right.” yeah good luck with that one in the future, Maci.

    did Gary actually get bigger?! someone please stage an intervention asap.

  17. Wednesdaystreat says:

    MACI: HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!! Gawd.

    Gary: He seemed weirder than normal too. His voice or something was just weird. His voice box is probably squeezed to the brink of closing altogether.

  18. butch goes to law school says:

    i often snack while watching tv,but when gary comes on,i put down the chips and start doing jumping jacks.

  19. Amby's Hand Piercing says:

    Dr. Drew kept looking at “Geary” like he thought he might implode on stage!

  20. Rehab Swing says:

    Quite the treat last night. Why didn’t Maci bring up the new Kyyy she had been seeing on the regular? And puhhlease. Her and Albinodog were twitter dm-ing and probably everything in between while they were broken up. Lies! All lies!

  21. butch goes to law school says:

    did you see bentley has a crush on farrah?

  22. Gary's Seatbelt Extender says:

    I was starting to panic because I felt like I was suffocating whenever Gary was on screen. Seriously, how this guy doesn’t have collapsed lungs yet, I have no idea.
    And how awkward was Dr. Drew with the kids? “WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE COLOR?”

  23. Not Goggles says:

    I turned it off after Maci’s segment.. If Amber isn’t gonna be crying and swaying back and forth on stage, I’m not interested. Although, Geeeeary should consider another style of facial hair.. That chin strap look doesn’t work when you have 6 chins.

    Maci can’t even hide how much she wants Rhiine anymore. She is ridiculous, and her hair was driving me insane. It also looked like she and Ryan had the same earrings in. I hope it’s not true that she’s getting a spinoff. I noticed that Ky’s teeth looked different, he actually looked kind of cute, in an albino bulldog sort of way..

    I don’t understand why they don’t film these and then air them a month later.. All this sh*t is old news, everyone knows Maci and Ky are back together.

    Bring on Barb and the little b*tch of a daughtah (that’s you)

  24. We know for sure that Amber did not write that letter. In the letter she said “Gary and I will not be getting back together”. Everybody Knows (concrete blond) that Amber is uneducated and frequently says “Gary and ME”. Dr Drew and his crew wrote the letter and that is why it sounded nothing like Amber. Getting off the drugs does might make her nicer, but it didn’t provide her with instantaneous grammatical sense.

  25. Macy's Crispy Hair says:

    HAAAAYY.. Anyone else notice how much Sophia is looking like Shrek these days? Maybe even Shrek the 3rd? No? I’m the only one going to hell?

  26. Conspiracy Man says:

    haylee- I thought the same thing. The letter sounded grammatically edited and sanitized. Amber could not even pass her GED, much less draft a coherent sentence. I think any person who has not spent their freshman year in hs in a coma could pass a GED without studying for it. All of the questions I have heard from these tests sound like they are written for a grade school level of competency.

  27. "Obesity Smurf" Gary says:

    Holy hell, it seems impossible, but Gary got bigger. Maybe Drew cut his segment short because he thought the couch wouldn’t make it…..

    Oh and Amber totally did NOT write that letter. Maybe her “gel” scissor sister is taking advanced GED courses and was the ghostwriter.

  28. @Amby’s Hand Piercing I saw that someone commented on another post saying that. I think it was last week’s recap post.

  29. Identical Separated Bangs says:

    I love how Geary was bragging about how smart Leah is because she can trace things, then she came out and acted like she was slurping Honey Boo Boo’s Go-Go Juice.
    Poor Catelynn and Tyler looked like they were expecting a surprise visit that just never came…. awww

  30. T*ts on a Stick says:

    Good god, what a yawn fest that was! It was like 2 hours of listening to Maci whine and go on and on about how awesome she thinks she is. I wish Rhine would just go ahead and legalize custody just to knock her down a peg.

    And Frankenberry, he actually looked happy! Makes total sense, he was free of Maci.

    I couldn’t believe when she said that if she hadn’t been a teen mom then she and Frankenberry wouldn’t even be together because she would still be with Rhiiine! LOL, does she even realize how desperate for him she sounds?!

    I too am wondering what happened to Stitch…

    Leah is a beautiful little girl, how she came from two useless blobs like Amber and Geeary is beyond me. I was hoping that when Dr. Panda reached to pick her up and put her on his lap that she would have screamed and run away from him. That would have been funny.

    Looking forward to the unseen moments next week!

  31. 55378008. Best part of this whole thing yet.

  32. tyler loves my- kuhl says:

    I agree ty ty and cate were TOTALLY expecting icarly to pop out at the end! They irritate the fuck out of me. I wonder how many calls the good doctor made to brandonandteresa saying “Come ON! Ipromise (see what I did there!?!) April, Butch and Kim won’t be there…yes, there will be extra security…well, of course you have to let them hold Carly….hello?…hello?”

  33. hahaha ginger skunk, Obesity Smurf, AlbinoBulldogs4Sluts! I’m dying here. Great recap. I will miss this show only for these!

  34. Husky Kitty says:

    We’ll all miss these recaps, but better (not bigger because…well…nothing’s bigger than Gary) things to come with TM2 in a few weeks!

    Bring on Kieffah’s grassy knoll, Jenelle’s dirty hoodie, and Bricks still studying for her GED test. She’s like the Amber of Tm2 without the legitimate mental and legal issues.

  35. Kyyyy's Shart says:

    “And, let’s face it, there’s no way he’d ever be able to crack the Captcha Code.” hahahahaha that is awesome.

    Also, when Gary was on, my dad walked through the living room and was like, “Does he date Cake?” (we love to watch this other show about real estate agents, and one couple call each other Cake)…and I was like, “Yep, Dad…literally!” hahaha

  36. Kyles new teeth remind me of when Dennis the Menace knocked the two front teeth out of Mr. Wilson’s dentures and replaced them with Chicklets gum.

  37. Sooo sad that Husky Kitty was waiting for iCarly to come on the stage!! Why else would they be there? Husky Kitty’s ” cute, happy face” rivals Farrah’s ugly cry any day. You know the one where she thinks something’s adorable and tries to look cute/happy. Stop trying to make fetch happen.

  38. Kyyyy's Shart says:

    Mandy – haaaahahaha I just burst out laughing at work at that!!

  39. Catelynn's Chewed off Fingernail Polish says:

    Why did everybody look so pasty? Even Maci was pale orange. Who else thinks Gary is kinda hot? No, not me – but Gary sure does.

  40. Maci must have fun house mirrors in her house if she thinks she looks good. She looked like a washed up old hag on that stage next to Rhiiine and Dalis. Awesome recap, Patrick! “BOOBLESS” LOL

  41. obesity smurf says:

    What the hell happened to Farrah’s dog, Stitch??? Dr. Drew asked Sophia what her dog’s name is & she answered “taquito”. Farrah said that he was a chihuahua. On the show she had a french bulldog. I volunteer at a dog rescue & people who dispose of their animals whenever they become inconvenient disgust me. I was floored when I learned how many dogs are euthanized every day. She buys her dogs at pet stores, doesn’t have a clue how to train them & then gets rid of them. She disgusts me & poor Sophia. I’m scared she will suffer the same fate if she doesn’t quickly get potty trained.

  42. @maci’s crispy bangs- not cool to bring the kids into this.

  43. Fake Letter From Amber says:

    Kyy’s body language was awesome–his torso was stretched so FAR away from Maci he was practically dangling over the arm of the couch.

    When “Drew” was reading “Amber’s letter,” my imagination was picturing what an ACTUAL letter written by that girl would be like–yikes, what a mess that would be.

    Butch goes to law school–thank you for making me laugh about doing jumping jacks when Gary comes on.

  44. Fake Letter From Amber says:

    I just took another look at the photo of Maci posted above. IBBB, you made a great choice. That double-take made me bust out laughing!!! Perhaps that WAS the most flattering you could come up with from her segment, though . . .

  45. Rehab Swing says:

    @anytrash YES I know that look your talking about! And now I can’t seem to escape it… anywhere I look all I see is her looking upwards kind of smiling with her husky kitty bow in hair. Ugh

  46. Peach-Orange-Whatever is the new black says:

    Who let Maci and Dalis come out wearing the same color like that? I mean it did help Maci look like more of a trash heap than she already is, but really. She does a fine job of that on her own, with the skunk hair.

  47. Scopped Liver says:

    Dr. Drew is so effing old, asking Ryan, “Did you make that text?” Hahah. Everyone looked terrible – especially the men. And I haven’t seen that many vests since middle school dances in the 90s.

  48. Blindingly white albino bulldog veneers says:

    Kyle’s teeth. Is he for real with that shit?

  49. Maci's Firecrotch says:

    Kyle got Veneers. I’m sure he freeloaded them off the old ball and chain before he chatted it up with those Nashville whores.

    It blew my mind that Maci used a plural word when she said they were girlSSSSS that Kyle had slept with. You mean there’s more than one person that has an albino/polarbear/bulldog fetish????

    Did anyone see MTVs new campaign about getting young people to the voting booth that includes Maci and Kyle?!?!?!?! No, I’m not joking. They’re gonna have to dust off the old picture-voting systems for Ky-Jelly and PizzaFace. They’ll probably try and vote for Dr.Drew anyway.

  50. Maci's Crispy Hair says:

    @Baby Goop: Riiiiight. I’m the one breaking moral code here.

    Shrek 2, then. Sorry, didn’t nail it the first time.

  51. Sophia was right. Farrah is a bad person. says:

    Baby Goo, is this your first time here by chance?

    I could not stop picturing Maci clubbing puppies with that Cruella hair of hers. Maybe that’s what happened to Stitch…

  52. tyler loves my- kuhl says:

    @maci crispy hair: shrek…haha…lmao. She looks evil to me…maybe that’s whats up with the 24/7 paci, it covers up the sharpened fangs. I advise @baby goo to NOT read comments for teen mom 2 when all the (gasp!) comments about goggles / non goggles are tossed about. Get a grip and a sense of humor…farrah is that you???!

  53. Spin-off Disasters says:

    Seriously? Farrah just landed her own spin-off. So now Farrah, Maci, and Catelynn have spin-offs. I loved this show but I highly doubt I’m watching those. Also, Maci just got 1 million twitter followers so now there is a contest to get to meet Maci. Who wants to fly to TN to be stuck with Maci? Not me!

  54. Joe's Rap Career says:

    I’m sad that Maci didn’t come out in her Wocka Flocka jersey.

  55. adumb's little bastard says:

    Ok…enough with these boring ho -bags and their fat/gay/stupid baby daddies. No more ribbons and bows, crack head junkie lawyer wanna be’s, preschool hating fuck heads. I NEED me some Baaaaaaarb and Bricks and Randalicious! Stat!!!

  56. adumb's little bastard says:

    p.s. ….nothing wrong with being gay and fabulous (how do you think cate ‘s ribbons and bows got there??)….but you can help being fat and stupid. Preschool! ….just read my comment back and didn’t wanna piss anyone off. See ya on TM2 flip side….y’all.

  57. Macy's Crispy Hair says:

    tyler loves my- kuhl BWAH AH AH AH!!! I never thought of the fangs. Good stuff..

    I need some Keiffah! Kind of like cowbell. NOW! I wanna see where he makes these pipes of his! Anyone notice that now that filiming is wrapping for TM2 Keiffah is blowin’ in the wind??

  58. T*ts on a Stick says:

    Hey, where did my comment yesterday go??

    It wasn’t anything too exciting, mostly I was just amazed at how happy and less Frankenberry-ish Kie looked (probably because he had escaped from Maci!)

    Good god Maci whines a lot! Its all about her all the time, and she is just the bestest thing ever and everyone should be bowing down to her and telling her how she’s the best teen mom ever! *gag*

    I could not believe she actually said that if she hadn’t been a teen mom than she and Kyle would never have been together because she would still be with Ryan! He so obviously hates her guts, he can barely stand to be around her, and she is still obsessed with him.

  59. Amber's Camel Lashes says:

    Aw, I think Maci is a little hurt that ryyyyy changed for dalis and not for her. How sad.

  60. tyler loves my-kuhl says:

    @ambers camel lashes: totally! Maci’s petty jealousy came across loud and clear…maybe her hair should be green! Hee Hee. Ryyyy certainly is a snappier dresser now. He ditched the dirty hat and shirts. You can tell he hates Maci with a passion!!!! Very boo hoo for her…very entertaining for moi’.

  61. @tylerlovesmikuhl- yes, it’s my first time posting. No, it’s it’s not even my first time today posting. I think baby googles is cute! That’s not mean. I think it’s bad enough that these kids have such wretched parents. No need to make fun of them. So when you’re a teen mom, you’ll get it. Till then, mock away at the people who signed up for this. Peace

  62. Correction. My-kuhl. And btw, I do love your screen name.

  63. skating ring socks says:

    I like how dr. Drew said he had a “ton” if stuff to talk to gary about

  64. tyler loves my-kuhl says:

    @baby goo: I am a 40-something mom of five kids, three of whom who are teen-agers. I need something to brighten my day between cleaning toilets, laundry, and breaking up fights over who drank all the milk. If I put my family out there on tv (and believe me, there is plenty of material) I would expect nothing less than open season on my whole gang. Just some not-so-innocent fun and snark which brings us a much needed chuckle. Stick around for teen mom 2…it will be a blast!

  65. @tyler loves my-kuhl- I hear ya, I’m a stay at home mom as well.

  66. FFS – Someone please inform Maci that she and Rhine are no longer together.

  67. Amber's Pill Bottles says:

    All I could think of while watching Maci trying to explain the “text messages” and barbed remarks about Dalis was how poor Bentley is going to have one f-ed up life with mom “playing games” and starting trouble with everyone in town…

    After about 10 minutes of listening to Maci I caught myself yelling at the tv – “Maci, get down from the cross, someone else needs the damn wood”!

  68. April's Broken Toliet Seat says:

    Baby Goo: no one cares about your life.

  69. Ohhh I’m so glad you picked up on the similar coral colors that Maci and Dalis were wearing! That seemed a little strange to me. Also, why in the word did Dalis need to stare at the ceiling every time she answered a question?

  70. @april’s broken toilet seat- why are you commenting about other people’s comments? Just say something about the show and move on with your life. Or get one. You have so many comments here. Mind your business

  71. Shut up Michael says:

    @tylerlovesmi-kuhl, @maciscrispybangs,
    Takes a real cunt to talk about kids. Sure you’re kids are retarded. Or they will be when they’re born. And I’m sure people mock them too. As. They. Should.

  72. tyler loves my-kuhl says:

    No one mocks my kids (mother of five: see above) because they are intelligent enough to use proper grammer and spelling. “Your” I believe is the word you meant in YOUR pathetic attempt at an insult. As in “you’re” (you are) an idiot. If YOU’RE going to call people out, do it properly please. As. You. Should. Kind of ironic YOU’RE insulting my and @maci kids, while chastising us for mocking kids. Uhhh, ok….run along now….

  73. tyler loves my-kuhl says:

    Btw, @shut up Michael….I’ve given birth to five kids….my cunt is as real as it gets!!! Thanks for the compliment!!!

  74. IS KYLE SLOW says:

    Hahahahahahah

  75. skating ring socks says:

    Damn. Why is everyone so hostile? Aren’t we all here for the same reason? To make fun of these stupid girls

  76. Butch is Sexy says:

    @skating ring socks- Seriously!! Lighten up, everyone. My goodness!! Don’t ruin this site by arguing about bs. It’s supposed to be fun!

  77. tyler loves my-kuhl says:

    It IS fun!!! And I make fun of the stupid girls and their demon crotch spawns…that’s why I come on here….re-read my (many) posts. I’m just responding to all the trolls and do gooders who come on to hassle myself and others and who called me a cunt. Which I am. I got 99 problems but a dick ain’t one…hit me!! And it’s not a good excuse, but….they started it!

  78. slappie jones says:

    Damn trolls. @tyler loves my-kuhl….don’t sweat it…(not referring to your c*nt btw) …people live to bitch.

  79. Butch is Sexy says:

    What happened to the fun?

  80. Butch is Sexy says:

    And the language…

  81. skating ring socks says:

    Hahaha @tyler loves my-kuhl I love your comebacks! Im dying! Thnks for putting these bitches in their place :) I come to this site for a laugh ppl shouldn’t take this comments so seriously

  82. skating ring socks says:

    Correction these comments sry. Meaning every comment ever posted on this whole website

  83. Butch is Sexy says:

    Now I’m starting to think @tylerlovesmi-kuhl is @ ice rink. If not more posters. Sorry if I’m wrong, but I just saw all the comments for the first time, and it looks like one person is using a few screen names. Whatevs, this isn’t twitter, so there shouldn’t be a war.

  84. tyler loves my- kuhl says:

    @butch is not sexy: first off (and lastly) you are taking this wayyyy too seriously my friend. Not that I give a hot flying shit, but go Alllll the way up and reread all the stuff I posted. Someone posted something about sophia…I responded in kind…war on. What -evs. @skating rink socks, thanks for the back up. Or…..should I just look in the mirror and say that….dun dun dunnnnnn! For fucks sake haters…I come on here to get and maybe give a giggle. Moving on folks.

  85. tyler loves my- kuhl says:

    @slappie: sorry! Another one of my many personalities apparently popping up to say hey. I guess I should change my screen to Sybil. Saw you had my (our?) back as well. Cheers! People need to get over themselves….bitches be hating an’ shit….

  86. your left ovary says:

    @tyler loves my-kuhl – Sweet Christmas Krispies … You’re killing me, Smalls! “I got 99 problems but a dick ain’t one…hit me!!”

    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    And I still maintain that Not-goggles on TM2 still looks like little Mac from Mac & Me. I found it on the Netflix :) I want to whistle when she comes on the tv!

  87. Tyler's Gay Lover says:

    For anyone who is upset about people making fun of the kids……have you read Patrick’s posts at all?? Maybe you should find a different blog if a little harmless kid trashing bothers you.

    BTW–I’m a 30-something mom of a 17yr old and an 11mo old. This blog provides a little comic relief on Wednesdays and I find myself coming back later in the week to laugh at the comments:)

  88. tyler loves my- kuhl says:

    Yay! The calvary has arrived! Thanks, y ‘all.

  89. Peach-Orange-Whatever is the new black says:

    Maci and Kyyyy broke up again! Yayyy!

  90. Catelynns bong hit says:

    What the hell is going on here? This used to be about the shows. Now people are fighting?

  91. tyler loves my- kuhl says:

    @catelynns bong hit: long story short, someone made a (funny) remark about farrahs daughter, I thought it was funny and added my own, then some people chimed in and called us c*nts for making fun of the innocent kids. Silly me, thats why I continue to come here!

  92. Catelynns bong hit says:

    Oh. What the hell? That’s kinda what this is for

  93. Dear Everyone Fighting,

    For real? I like to keep this site around the level of Sally Jesse Raphael and not so much Ricki Lake. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

    Whoever/whomever is fighting, seriously, stop. It makes you more pathetic than me and I write this stuff. And trust me, I am uber pathetic. Clearly.

    So let’s go back to just using our freedom of speech, except when it’s against each other and, more importantly, against me.

    Cut the Sh*t or I’ll Send You To Your Room with No ‘Sketti,
    IBBB

  94. Finally stupid Drew asked FaRRAH why they hell do they call their dad (shut up) Michael. Grow some balls Maci and kick slutty (I like to talk like a innocent little baby voice) Dalis Ass! While your at it punch Ryan and his bitch mom in the face as well. Gary your the biggest person I ever seen in my life. Your a fat fail. And your mom looks like BENNY HILL. Catelynn and Tyler stop fronting like you will become somebody one day and be the true trailer trash and pull a Raising Arizona already! If not see you on episode of A&E Intervention. Good luck Amber Stay away from that heffer Gary.

  95. tyler loves my- kuhl says:

    I’m not really fighting, just defending myself (and others) who post on here in the spirit in which it’s (and you) intended. If that makes me ‘pathetic’, so be it. Sorry.

  96. Catelynns bong hit says:

    Here here! Now, whoever/whomever was fighting, just stop! There’s a new episode of Honey Boo Boo this week. Just be glad ibbb isn’t recapping the siamese twins show ( although he should!). Now that, ladies,would cause blood to spill kidding. Even though I’m not. See what I did there? XO

  97. That did get out of hand, girls. I accept responsibility for my bad behavior.

  98. skating ring socks says:

    Oooohh you guys got in trouble ;)

  99. Isaac's Giant Sneakers says:

    Darn! I was really hoping to use the “c” word. I hardly ever get to use it and this seemed like the place to toss it around like Trash Claw tossed Farrah!

    I. Can. Not. Get. Over. How. Fat. Gary. Is. He needs to call Charles Barkley stat.

    I can not wait for unseen moments tonight. Husky Kitty promises it to be a tear jerker! #bonghitkitty!

  100. WV_Genetic-cyst says:

    Obesity Smurf = the perfect halloween costume for “the America”

  101. Brandon and Teresa's Restraining Order says:

    I was honestly sad for Michael during the unseen moments show last night.Farrah is such a raging bitch.

  102. Barbwahs credit score says:

    Kyle always makes me think of Encino man. He can be either the Pauly Shore or Brenden Fraser character. He is that awesome. Theory of Evolution is proven.

  103. Farrahs A Cruel Hoe says:

    I did tooo! Poor Michael! Farrah really is a cold bitch! It makes me wonder what was sooooo damaging that she hates them? I’d drop kick her ass and run off with Gremlin if I was Debra Who! Where are the 3tricks that beat up Leah when you need them?! Farrah needs a good ass whooopin!

  104. God please open Farrah's heart says:

    I totally agree in that I feel so bad for Michael, that poor bastard. Trying to have a nice dinner, where was soph btw?…. Anyone notice that his glass of wine drained rather quickly after she morphed into uber-bitch in 3 seconds. Such an annoying, selfish bitch!!! argh!