Aug
09

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo: I Can’t (Now with More Vagiggle Jaggle!)

Posted by IBBB

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I wanted to title this recap “I Can’t” and then just hit publish. Every now and then Jesus Claus and his teen mom, Mary, smile down upon me and bring so much joy to my life that it makes me want to introduce myself to all my neighbors. And not just because “the law” tells me I have to. I jest. I am not a sex offender. Although I find thinking about “Mama” and “Sugar Bear” doing sex offensive so same/same. Anychins, Alana from “Jon Benet’s and Tiaras” is back and whilst she hasn’t won any big pageants she has won her own show. And since I do my best work making fun of “the youngs” and “the poors” I find it fitting that I shall be recapping the absolute Go Go Juice out of this show. It’s everything I knew it would be and more right off the bat. I mean, you have obesity. Check. Poor people. Check. Multiple chins on singular people. Check. Sub-titles constantly. Check. Nicknames for every person in the family. Check. And southern accents. Check. Did I mention obesity? Like Heinz gravy with lumps, it’s in there.

Before we can even make it into the crapisode we’re forced to learn all new names. I’m not good with change so this was a tough one for me. First off you have Alana. We know her. And we have “Mama.” Who can forget? We also have someone who may be the father to any one of these children, but most likely only 1…Sugar Bear. Sugar Bear is 40 and may or may not have extra teeth stored up on the side of his mouth like a squirrel getting ready for winter. He works 7 days a week so that they can all afford to live, literally, in the path of an oncoming train. Did I mention they live in the part of Georgia with tin roofs and naked kids rolling a giant metal wheel up the dirt-road with a stick? Yeah, there. Next up we have Pumpkin. She’s 12 and likes bobbing for pigs feet. We’ll get there in a minute. By the time she’s 16 I’m sure she’ll be bobbing for dicks in the laps of her high-school teachers in hopes of getting the answers to the next GED exam. I’m kidding. She won’t go to high school (learning is Satan’s work!) Then we have Chickadee who is 17 and pregnant and, well, apparently didn’t know she could have had her own show over at MTV but beggars can’t be choosers. Or pretty, apparently. They show her getting an ultrasound but I’m pretty sure Mama could do the same thing with two tin cans, some string, Smuckers grape jelly, and a magnifying glass. And finally we have Chubbs. I’m not entirely sure why she has that nickname, but maybe it has something to do with her being only fifteen years old and weighing 175 pounds. Spoiler Alert: All the daughters officially weigh more than me. Hot. I’m not sure we ever really find out their last name, but let’s just assume it’s either Type II Diabetes or “The Sugars.”

The episode kicks off with some typical family hijinks. It’s summer vacation so that means that everyone sleeps in until 11 in the morning and starts off their day with a healthy plastic jar of cheese balls. I’m pretty sure Sugar Bear has orange finger prints all over his dinky-doo and Mama leaves similar prints on her fuptastic FUPA. We can dream. As Alana is eating her breakfast of champions, the rest of the girls are busy spraying down their hair with Aqua Net. Mama claims they smell like “hairspray and desperation” but I tend to disagree. I feel like it’s more of the scent of hairspray and underachievement. Mixed with elastic waistband pants, of course! Here’s the thing, you want to make fun of Mama and crew right off the bat, but you soon realize that she’s totally in on the joke and, well, that makes me love her even more. She knows she’s fat and trashtastic and that makes her ok in my book. Sure she washes her head in the kitchen sink next to the dishes and scratches at the bugs in her head. Sure she loses count after 3 when trying to figure out how many chins she has. Sure she has the standard front-dead-tooth that most of “the poors” have. Sure she swings one arm really hard back and forth whilst walking to, you know, keep herself from tipping over like a Weeble. But she knows all of this. And if this isn’t the new formula for achieving the American Dream then I don’t know what is. I’m also pretty sure only 2 things in that last sentence were grammatically correct but I’m on a roll. I’m also eating a roll as I’ve learned eating whilst watching this makes me feel better about myself and society as a whole.

Later after a typical family squabble over whether or not they are rednecks, it’s time to go to the Redneck Games. “Hooray!” yelled the villagers in my head! Mama describes these games as the “Olympics” but with missing teeth and a lot of butt-crack showing. It’s everything you dreamed it would be an less. There are obese women with skinny shirtless toothless mustached men. And they’re grinding whilst chugging beers. There are half-shirts dripping in mud. There are confederate bikini’s covering sagging breast all while exposing a little southern cameltoe. And there’s the obligatory fat lady with her face blurred out holding a naked newborn up to her heaving bosom with her gut hanging out as she stands in 100 degree sun and dirt. To sum up, I want this location to be the backdrop of my life. Anyjunk, it’s time for the girls to start competing in “The Hungry Games.” See what I did there? One of the girls (I’m not sure if it was Darlene or Becky because, let’s fact it, they’re all Darlene or Becky) is ready to start bobbing for pigs feet…out of a giant bucket. She goes head first into the water like she’s running from education. She doesn’t win, but everyone is still proud of her because she tried her best and, well, what more can you really ask for? Even though she didn’t win her reward was almost puking in the 100 degree heat all while Chickadee followed behind her with her pregnant belly hanging out. She is the most pregnantist after all. When does the 3rd trimester abortion game begin? Get y’alls wrenches and a shot of bleach y’all! After debating if they’ll all cool off in the pond that has a sign up discussing flesh-eating-bacteria and a couple of dozen belly flops in the mud, it’s time to go home. Alana had the time of her life and being covered in all that mud really turned her into the ethnic Shirley Temple of our generation. The real Shirley that we’ve all been waiting for and deserve.

After a long and hot day it was time to all sit on some puffy leather couches and enjoy the air conditioning. Oh, and it’s also time to figure out how much everyone weighs! Chubbs doesn’t love her name being, well, Chubbs and wants to start a diet to lose 25 or 30 pounds. Mama is willing to lose some weight too, but not for her health or looks but to just support her daughter…in which whom she nicknamed Chubbs. Um, maybe start by not calling her that. Just a guess. While we don’t know what their diet plan will be in terms of food, we do learn that Mama claims if you fart 12-15 times a day you will lose weight. I mean, that works for Oprah (allegedly) so I’m sure it will also work for “The Sugars.” Chubbs weighs in at 175 pounds and Mama tops off the scale at a petite and breezy 309. At first it wouldn’t weigh her, but I’m pretty sure that scale was in on the joke too. That little minx! Mama wants to lose 100 pounds so she can hit her dream/goal weight of 200 pounds. At 200 pounds she’ll only be about 50 pounds left of danger (take a right at “clogged arteries” and then u-turn at kidney failure).

It’s finally time for Honey Boo Boo to enter her next pageant which is supposed to be a “natural pageant” which means no spray tans and no makeup. Basically you’re not allowed to dress up your 6 year old to look like she’ll being doing $2 dollar sucky-sucky in the backroom of an Applebee’s. Eating good in the neighborhood. Honey Boo Boo is actually having a blast and even cheering on the other kids and being an all around good sport. I love how “The Sugars” are all wearing Hanes Husky t-shirts (XXXL – slim fit) that say “Honey Boo Boo Child” across them. Brilliant. You know they’re totally the envy of all the trailers. They’re like royalty, but with rickets and junk. I have a feeling if Alana wins this pageant and gets some money they’ll be sponge-painting over their wood paneling with a faux-finish before the week is up. Darlin’ I love ya but give me Park Avenue. Where was I? Ah yes, Alana doesn’t win and ends up crying as I did inside. I was, however, mainly crying because I realized that I’ve been recapping this for what seems like over an hour. Perhaps it was actually a mix of that and a mix of me slamming my ding-a-ling in the laptop in hopes it would knock some sense into me and I would find “a life.” In the end, Sugar Bear really sums things up when he says (using only sidemouth) during his one on one interview that if Alana keeps doing her pageants one day she can be miss America. I’m sure what he really meant was that after this show airs and the terrorists blow us up we we’re all going to miss America. See the difference?

Liked this recap? Want to see more of it each week? Well then be sure to click on the “Recommend” button I placed all over the place so you can share this with your trashy Facebook Friends! Speaking of Facebook, click here to join me on my Facebook page. Ole!

Episode Rating: 3 Vagiggle Jaggle’s

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76 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

IBBB Said,
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Nicole Said,
All I could think while watching this train wreck, is Jesus Christ I cant wait to read the recap. Thankfully, as always – you did not disappoint!
Amber's Footprint on Gary's Back Said,
During one of the interview scenes with the whole family on the couch, Sugar Bear is talking about Alana being in the pageant and it looks like Mama is sitting there flossing her teeth. Is digging for seconds part of the new diet plan?
NY40sGIRL Said,
I LOVE this show….the second episode was fantastic with Glitzy the gay pig. Love, Love, Love it!! Please keep recapping. I’m so glad to know someone else appreciated them living on the train tracks!
Shannon Said,
OMG this was the best recap ever!!!! So glad you’re recapping this show. Patrick this might be your chance at hosting if they ever do a reunion show or something. We should all write to TLC to petition. Who needs Bravo? LMFO!!
27 & Established Said,
Ok, first it should be known that a teacup pig does not exist. SPOILER ALERT: Glitzy the gay pig is going to get just as big as all “The Sugars”. My cousin, an Arkansas Razorback, got a $1000 “teacup” pig because ambien told him to, and this tiny pig grew and grew and grew like the blueberry girl from Wonkaville.
Next, I’m ALWAYS one to side eye an extreme couponer, but after watching “Mama” I agree, she’s the baddest bitch ever. (sorry KristinCav, THIS bitch is back). Yeah, she is like the house that landed on and killed the good witch in the merry old land of Oz, but she keeps alllll that lovin covered.
Third, when honey boo boo child was interviewing about losing the natural pageant and made her stomach say “The judges are nuts”…my heart sang.
Lastly, what’s wrong with chubbs? (side note-my iPhone autocorrected chubbs to chunk-try it!) She seems like she really IS “the craaaziest”. Can’t wait for more of this stuff! Go Patrick!
your left ovary Said,
Sad, I just spent my first 35 minutes on the clock catching up on comments on the most recent Teen Mom recap and reading the HoneyBooBoo recap.
Anyway, so uhhhh JuneBug was a teen mama herself if she’s 32 and Chickadee is 17? I hate the way Alana talks. Tucking in the corners of her mouth and talking like the tranny on the corner by the strip mall. Giiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllll
The Table Sophia Slept On Said,
My 18 month old decided to pull a late night to stay up and watch this with me. She seriously laughed every time Honey Boo Boo was on screen. I hope she wasn’t taking notes!!
QueenofCorona Said,
I love how they buy groceries at “the auction” to save money yet have approximately 311 rolls of paper towel rolls, 25 boxes of Kleenex, 19 bottles of Tide all stocked away. Might have been a good idea to hoard condoms and Plan B for Miss Teen Busy Biscuit.
Mandy Said,
Wait, June is ONE YEAR OLDER than ME? Best. Ever.
Also, I don’t know how you even tried separating “what to recap” and “what to skip.” Every second of this show is pure gold! Thanks for being the highlight of my day already.
Justlikehoneybooboo Said,
I nearly died when I saw that June was only 2 years older than me. She’s a mess. An obese, long-faced mess. And if Sugar Bear is 40(assuming he’s chickadee’s father), that means he would have been 23 when Junebug got knocked the eff up at 15. Lucky for him in a good chunk of the south the age of consent is about 14.
Justlikehoneybooboo Said,
Also, I LOVE when Alana says a dollah makes me hollah, honey boo boo. It’s nice to know she’s already prepared for her future career as a stripper, where she’ll be earning nothing but dollahs(as in singles that will most likely be jammed just south of her FUPA).
Katie Said,
The pic of June at the top of the recap made me laugh out loud so hard that I am crying. I love that woman. The fact that she knows she’s a tub of lard and is happier than a pig in shit about it, well, she gets 2 thumbs up from me.
Conspiracy Man Said,
Doesn’t TLC stand for The Learning Channel? Well, I learned a lot from this show. I was surprised to find that it gave me a very visceral reaction of feeling kind of queasy the whole time it was on.

Great recap.
Amber's Straightjacket Said,
So the part with the weigh in…..lol. Alana talking s- about her mom being fat was hilarious.
Amber's Straightjacket Said,
Oh and BTW, the still shot of Mama up above, I actually paused that exact same frame and showed my husband that last night and he freaked the eff out. “What are you watching?” with a horrified look on his face.
Go-Go Juice Said,
This was comedy gold! I watched these episodes with a half grin on my face and a tear streaming down my cheek.

Didn’t you love the fact that they have about 5,000 rolls of toilet paper stuffed into their dining room? When the zombies start running loose I’m high-tailing it to Mama’s house.
Mama's 3rd chin Said,
TLC should send you a commission check because your recap was the only reason I suffered through this show. Hilarious as always!
The train track comment alone had me rolling. Sad that the new baby is another future stripper.
T*its on a stick Said,
Omg I am so glad I set my DVR to record this now! Had to read the recap first though, I just couldn’t wait.

Glad to hear I’m not the only one with with villagers in my head (Huzzah!)
Brenda Walsh Said,
I would have never made it through this show if you hadn’t been recapping it, Patrick. It was seriously so, so bad. They are truly revolting. And I sort of felt bad for the other kids. Clearly Alana is her parents’ favorite. Did you see their truck had a hot pink crown sticker on the back that said “Alana”? No wonder the sister made sweet love at 17 and got knocked the eff up – she needs someone to care about her!

On a side note, I immediately googled Posh Pigs after they purchased Glitzy and am now obsessed and desperate for a teacup piggy of my own. By the way, the pigs from Posh Pigs average about $1200. Glad to see they have to attend auctions for their meals but can drop over a grand on a pig.
Catelynn's Chewed off Fingernail Polish Said,
I don’t think I can ever eat another biscuit. Ever.
Kay R Said,
I still can’t believe someone buttered June’s biscuits at least 4 times. ((SHUDDERS))
dacabsarehere Said,
My favorite part of this show was logging on to the ol’ FB after and seeing half my friends list talk about how revolting they are all and all I could do was comment about how I plan on inviting them to my next ho-down. These peeps know how to party, honey, boo, boo! I loved her uncle, with the one toe and little bit of fruit in his tank. bahahahahaha.
If Catelyn and Teresa's Hairlines Meet Said,
I am still trying to wrap my brain around the food auction scenes….wtf?? And has Honey Boo Radley already lost her teeth? dear lord, I used to work at TLC….and I thought Trading Spaces was trashy tv at the time….wow…
Conspiracy Man Said,
Catelynn’s Chewed off Fingernail Polish – Even if they were made right . . . like from Hardee’s?
Conspiracy Man Said,
Kay R- She was pregnant at 15 and again at 17, so she missed the magic window for 16 & Pregnant.
Conspiracy Man Said,
I think the food auctions are held with food from stores that go out of business or in trains that derail or trucks that crash.
Conspiracy Man Said,
Did anyone else feel ill while watching the show? I am not kiddding – I really felt physically sickened and it was hard to watch.
Glitzy the gay pig Said,
My favorite thing they did was open a brand new pink pack & play for a pig. Too bad they don’t have a new granddaughter coming that could use that… Oh wait.
Conspiracy Man Said,
How old is the great grandmother? June’s mother could legitimately be 46 and be a great grandmother.
Brandon and Teresa's Restraining Order Said,
@Conspiracy Man.. I legitimately felt ill right along with you and could only watch up until the weigh in.I had to change the channel.I couldn’t even make myself watch the second episode.I will read the recap but I can’t watch this show.Yuck!!
Bricks...that is all Said,
How do they afford pageants and a glitzy pig but have to go to food auctions?? More importantly, wtf is a food auction?
Kyyyy's Shart Said,
Patrick, I wish we had the ability to ‘like’ people’s comments on here, DANG! They are cracking me up!!
Old Barn Said,
How about when mama send you can put a little paint on this old barn and it will shine right up good and new…..while pointing to her face and 35 chins. I lurve her!!!!
Bricks...that is all Said,
Mama – walrus or manatee? Let’s discuss.
Debra's black control top pantyhose- now known as Hang on I gotta scratch my bugs Said,
OMG– I was disgusted by the ignorance! And I live in the south!

The food auction was classic though. These people obviously really get into it! Did anyone else notice that man with a headband on who was bidding against June for the mini vanilla bundt cakes? And didn’t June go on there looking for pageant stuff and baby stuff but leave with 50 lbs of outdated chips and cupcakes?

Honey Boo Boo has a grim future in the real world. Seriously… I have five kids of my own who drive me nuts sometimes, but Honey Boo Boo is out of control! The fact that everyone laughs at her and thinks she is cute makes me ill. I actually felt better about my own family by watching this!
butch goes to law school Said,
her episode of toddlers and tiarras was on before this and my first thought was a)this kid is not cute and b)damn june is annoying.i could not watch this train wreck.hillbilly accents really freak me out..
Poodle's missing toe (formerly known as the letters that busted off Gary's shirt Said,
Oh my geez!

Points to discuss amongst yourselves, or with me:

1. Would it be so bad if some of their flesh got eaten?
2.
Justlikehoneybooboo Said,
@Bricks, my vote definitely goes to manatee
$1 make me hollar, $2 Sucky, Sucky Said,
I seriously loved how the film crew HAD to show the slow moving train and how close it came to the house! It looked like it was going to go right through the house! Do all of the trains go through that area that slow? I can only imagine if the train was going fast!
Poodle's missing toe (formerly known as the letters that busted off Gary's shirt Said,
3. I don’t think “warshing” your hair in the sink to keep from sitting in your own filth is the biggest of your worries!

4. Chubbs (how did they manage to misspell that?) is gonna sleep with every boy that walks by her, Pumpkin is in pre-lesbian stage, and the knocked up one is going to have eight kids by spring of 2014.

5. Who told Honey Boo Boo talking with her belly is cute?

6. They name the road kill the local law enforcement gives them? The family that processes together stays together!

7. The old man’s glue makes her high?

8. Did they charge extra to do a sonogram on Honey Boo Boo to find the chicken nuggets or did my hard earned money pay for that shit?

9. Don’t you have to go before the city planning and zoning committee before putting a train track in your backyard?

10. We all know thast etiquette lady wanted to run out of their screaming “Get these frito smelling freaks the hell away from me!”

11. Did anyone else notice that they all sit with their legs wide open? Sick!

12. The background of their house made me think I was watching Extreme Couponers.

The Learning Channel my ass!

Patrick, please please recap the new season of the Duggar’s!

I am so freaking mean. I know.
StankyPickles Said,
Can’t wait to find this on the web (I am so poor and classy NOT to put up a satellite dish when i cant afford it) I heart you Patrick varone! Will you be my honey boo boo?
darlene wants out of my belly Said,
The biscuit comment?
OMG. Was June comparing a biscuit to a vajayjay? The way it opens up if cooked right? It took me a few minutes and I’m still confused.

Does Sugar Bear ever find her biscuit? Does he try to eat it?
Ok. I just threw up. I really shouldn’t type my thoughts.

Is Sugar Bear’s lower jaw trying to eat his upper jaw? Did these two really procreate? How? It had to have been with a medicine dropper in the biscuit. OMG. Gag!
T*its on a stick Said,
@ Darlene wants out of my belly — I can Not stop laughing right now!
Dee Said,
TLC – The LOONY Channel has done it again.
Please tell me you’re also recapping their new show “High School Moms”
hairspray and desperation Said,
Do these people watch themselves on tv? Are they serious? Where does TLC find them?

I personally am going to find a food auction to go to on Friday. I need some day old twinkies and some baby formula that may or may not have been tampered with.

I wish the Honey Boo Boo fam would go live with the Duggar fam for a week- now there is some reality tv I could watch. Then maybe they could all host Craft Wars with the conjoined twins competing against each other! Winning idea!

Do these people hoinestly need that much toilet paper? I bet they go thru a shelf a day.
NY40sGIRL Said,
Poodle’s missing toe…Mama is an extreme couponer. She was either on that show or in Alana’s T&T episode they talked a lot about it. Her way of saving so she can do pageants. When she was on the Dr. Drew show she brough him a basket full of toiltries….it was funny.
Mark Said,
I would like to attempt to have your babies. Hilarious.
Hachet Face Said,
I know this is mean, but Mama’s close up shots remind me of the mom from What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Yeah, I said it.
Farrah's Hit Single Said,
I want to watch this so bad right now. How do I see it online from Canada? The TLC site won’t let me
Michelle Said,
I did not want to watch this craptastic show, but after reading your blog, I feel like I have to!
Maybe they’re doing the show for money for more pigs feet bobbing
IBBBRocks Said,
You know you are in for some craptastic tv viewing when they have to attach captions every time one of the trashclaws speaks.

And are they trying to reality tv double dip? With that lifetime supply of toilet paper lining the dining room something tells me Mama wants to be on Extreme Couponing next.
Honey Moo Moo Said,
Alana: ”Let’s go honey boo boo child. Let’s go honey dickey boo boo child. Let’s fart. I just did.” Lmao. This little girl cracks me up.
I love how she talks like every Maury guest that ever lived. I like this family because they keep it real. Farts, sneezes, chins, you can’t script that. Ratchetness at it’s finest.
Stanky Pickles Said,
What I love about mama’s “stockpile” (honestly, let’s go ahead and get them on the Hoarders waiting list) is that she bought (stole?) some REAALLY flimsy plastic shelves to load up with, oh, 105 lbs of liquid detergent. Really, who’s she fooling? We all know they wash their clothes in the kitchen sink with the leftover shampoo water.
Leslie Said,
1. Alana is not funny or cute.
2. In two years she will be carrying as much weight as her sisters.
3. The father looks like the “missing link”.
4. The mother’s “talent” in farting, belching, and scratching is in a class by itself.
5. I swear to god they are all interrelated anyway.
6. The roadkill was named Darlene.
7. These people are allowed to vote, drive a car, and procreate which should give us all something to think about.

This is one of the worst, if not the worst, show ever put on tv.
Droppin' Dirty Said,
@IBBB rocks, it’s a reality TV triple dip: Toddlers & Tiaras, Teen Mom, and Extreme Couponing. All TLC shows if you interchange TM with that new “secondary school and far past second base” crap they’re putting on.
LIttle House on the Train Tracks Said,
The house was clean, the family was friendly–not a bunch of four-letter-foul mouths . . . these folks were a cliche, but hey–so are the MTV Jersey Shore bunch–now those are the trash bags.

And this red neck family are harmless, just going for the money and the 15-min of fame. I wish them well. As Patrick observed, they are “in their own joke,” but to me they are really putting a more wholesome and likeable example than a lot of the other reality crapola out there.

I’d sure rather be friends with Mama June than with any of the teen mom cast of characters . . .

I adore little pigs, and not long ago bought eggs from a lady and her hubby who had a big pot belly pig in their very clean kitchen. Seeing how much I liked that one, the lady took me into their master bedroom where there were two GIANT old pot belly pigs sleeping in their home-made wooden beds, each covered in a blanket. They just grunted and barely minded the interruption. It did remind me of Green Acres, but in a good way.

Yes, I live in the state Amber cannot pronounce, but I lived for 5 years in Alabama, 15 in Texas, 5 in Germany and my hubby was raised in NC and GA . . . for the record–my couch is real leather, but this chair I’m in is puffy/fake leather.
your left ovary Said,
I had two potbellied pigs growing up. And their names were Snort and Trixie. They had their own room off of the laundry room and would root at the door when they needed to go outside. Yes, they were housebroken. We played with them and hosed them off before they came inside for the night if they had been in the mud puddles. I also live in the state that Amber cannot pronounce. (Not Chicago, either)
Vajiggle Jaggle Said,
@Little House On The Train Tracks – I completely agree with you! I know there are a lot of naysayers (ahem, Leslie) out there but this show doesn’t even come close to being the worst show on tv. I’d much rather watch this family’s antics than the Jersey Shore skanks. They’re harmless. And hilarious!
Vajiggle Jaggle Said,
One more thing – I lost it when the mud spatter from Chubbette’s belly flop sprayed all over Mama’s white tee. Hilarious!
Biscuit's and Gravy Said,
Raw pig’s feet, I wonder if she’ll catch worms.
Leigh Said,
So let me get this straight…
“Mama” is 2 years younger than I am and yet will be a grandmother before I am a mother. Awesome.
“Mama” is 32 and has a 17 year old and a 15 year old. Which means she was a teen mom not once, but twice. Awesome.
“Sugar Bear” is 8 years older than “Mama”, which means he was 23 when the first kid was born? And “Mama” was 15? Awesome.
“Mama” weighs over 300 lbs, but calls her 175 lb daughter “Chubbs”? Really?
I need to start watching this show!
Mama's Head Bug Said,
If by harmless you mean sucking up all the welfare checks they can generation after generation, then yes, they’re TOTALLY harmless. Jersey trash may be horrible but at least they have (or for the cast HAD) a job where they could support themselves without government aid.

I live in a rural area and thought some people around here were bad but holy cow! I am never going south. Ever. I watched for ~20 minutes, which seemed like 2 hours so I had to turn it off. I think this is the kind of tv show they always said would fry your brain like an egg. Patrick, thank you for suffering for us so could enjoy a hilarious recap.
Claire Said,
This show has turned me off to food for a month.

Also, was anyone else affraid they’d be able to smell them through their television?
slappie jones Said,
While I don’t think I can force myself to watch this show, I will be absolutely reading the recaps every week!
Mama's Head Bug Said,
I forgot to mention that when mama was saying she wanted to reach her dream weight of 200 lbs she said people called her Jabba the Hut but couldn’t say it correctly. Made me wonder if she even understood the reference!

And, yes, I was very thankful I couldn’t smell them through the tv. I don’t want to know what mama considers “desperation” to smell like. Eek.
Amy Said,
Unfortunately this gem of a show isn’t screened where I live but this recap has made my day nonetheless. I could never “like” just one or two comments – almost every single one of them cracks me up.
I have a question – does this show follow this family only or is it a different freak show every week?
Also, how the hell can that woman only be thirty-two?? Thirty-two!!! I’m not much younger than that and I swear she looks older than my mother.
Amy Said,
Also – the (real) names of the daughters clearly weren’t trashy or hillbilly enough for reality TV; hence the nicknames. If this show really is just about this one family, then I can’t wait to find out what moniker the grandkid gets lumbered with.
Bricks...that is all Said,
Did they say they were on welfare? I missed that. I might talk some smack about them but I love that they know they are a bunch of crazy hicks. And those TLC paychecks are probably keeping them above the poverty line so no one panic just yet.

And I’d way rather hang out and jump in the mud with them than jump in that cesspool of a hottub with the jersey shore morons.

Now let’s all go to the food auction!
Maury says "Sugar Bear is NOT the father!" Said,
This show is re-cap gold!! Don’t hate on the wannabe Duggars for living on the right side of the tracks. Afterall, Honey Boo Boo might be Ms America someday, says the ‘dad’ who may or may not have an extra set of pearly whites in tow. See ya’ll at the next auction or swap meet!
Fake Hypnotist Said,
Head Bugs–

I don’t know that these people are on welfare . . . that being said, there is a real good reason to have welfare–and I’m not support the abuse of it. (I have never been a welfare recipient, but I do sincerely understand poverty.)

Still and all, I can forgive a welfare fraud so much easier than I can tolerate a scheming, theiving, lying, (insert MUCH worse adjectives here) Politician . . . they are a waste and an insult above the honestly impoverished.
Mama's Head Bug Said,
No hate on those who need welfare and are trying to get themselves to an independent state. But I’m sure prior to the TLC paychecks they were getting some form of help that spanned generations. I mean, mama had babies at 15 and 17. Guarantee the max amount of welfare was received there!! I have worked in the area of welfare and know far too many people like them. Just saying.

However, good for these hillbillies. They used what little IQ they have and found a way to make some cash.
Karen Said,
Ok. You’ve convinced me. There must be a god because there is no other reason for a show like this to exist. Now if this same god would just answer the millions of unanswered prayers and stop blowing up the trade center, I’ll really be convinced.
Karen Said,
Oh one more thing would make me believe. If god would just answer all the blacks prayers to win reality shows. Even though we know they are always the first to be voted off.
Long time IBBB fan Said,
@Karen- We do win some reality shows. However, we are the first to die in all scary movies. So if we could survive one of those we would be forever grateful.

Sincerely,
The Blacks
SCR Said,
I couldn’t love this show or this recap more! Look, I’d rather hang out with these people for a month than with Kate Gosselin and her brats for 10 minutes.