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Operation Sellout! Bravo Raise the Bar Bartender Contest. Ole!
Hello my good people. It’s been minutes since I’ve last asked you to help me sellout. I’m kidding. It’s been seconds. As you know (LuAnn voice) I started up this here blog almost 6 years ago and it’s been my goal ever since to sellout and sellout big time. Yes, I’m as pathetic as ever and, quite possibly, much worse. Well the time is upon (and up on us, all at the same time) as Watch What Happens Live is holding a contest where they choose WWHL (as “the kids” call it) biggest fan to stand behind the bar for an episode or two. Clearly, my life has lead to this road. This long, creepy, and partially dirty road. Either way, I figured after recapping the Real Housewives franchise for what seems like 2 decades they, well, owe me. Plus, I’m quite certain that when I win and get to stand behind the bar on an episode of Watch What Happens Live, they will all clearly fall in love with me and instantly provide me with my own show. I’m pretty sure that’s how people get TV shows anyway so I say sign me up! And, in fact, I have signed myself up but now I need YOUR help. Yeah, I’m talking to you.
You’ve all taken part in a Twitter-Bomb or two, but now I need to you take part in a Form-Fill-Out-Bomb (or F.F.O.B as “no one” calls it). The form takes under 60 seconds to fill out. Please click on the image above or this link right here to get to the Bravo form and suggest me (Patrick Varone) for the bartender gig. Please be sure to fill out your own name and address but in the “Why I’m WWHL’s Biggest Fan” section write a little recommendation about yours truly (that’s me). Yes, this is as horrible as it sounds but I thank you in advance. Once I get chosen I promise to give you all the side-eye on the air. I know. You’re welcome. P.S., one entry per person.
Luke-Warm Regards,
Patrick (IBBB)
Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!
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Lyzz Said,
Heard him talk about this on last nights WWHL .. Good luck dude if you’re “Fo Real”!
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Mary Said,
Of course I have already completed my appointed task, your excellent sell–out, but I think it only fair that every one of your minions who does this is entered in a contest to become your personal bartender for at least one evening, and we put it on Ustream.
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Jenny Said,
Done and done. How could they possibly resist my plea that you be appointed my international proxy, and that people as far away as Sydney, Australia support you? Of course I also insisted that you give Andy Cohen a big sloppy kiss from me. I know. You’re welcome.
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dacabsarehere Said,
So can’t wait for this, you should wear a “Team Rosie” tee or another awesome idea for selling out … wear a shirt with the link to your blog. I mean, if you’re gonna put yourself on display, on display … you better work it girl. Go Patty Cakes!
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Anonymous Said,
you HAVE to wear a Team Rosie shirt! Maybe the front can be team rosie and the back Team Milania. You must side eye from the tv, and while you do, I will be sexy dancing and loving life!
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Kasi Said,
Done!
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Shari Said,
Done and done.
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Vicky Said,
This is as pathetic as it gets Patrick…..but I filled it out right away and sent it in truly hoping you win!
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Scooby Said,
Since I am sans life, I filled out your glowing recommendation form immediately. You’re welcome
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IBBB Said,
Thank y’all! You all/y’all rule! I’m using y’all a lot b/c I’m getting amped up for the Teen Mom Recap tomorrow. Thanks again…seriously.
-IBBB
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The Poors Said,
Maybe I have been hiding out in my chalet here in Indiana but I have no idea what WWHL is. I still recommended that they give you the gig though.
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Welcome to Miami, OK Said,
Filled it out giving the reason that you are funnier than Andy Cohen! Hope that doesn’t backfire…..
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Long time IBBB fan Said,
Done and Done!!! Good luck! I hope you get on there!
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LuLuLR Said,
I did it. I MAY have threatened a producer or two in the process…but I did it. Either you’ll be hired full time in the clubhouse or you’re going to be put on a no-fly list. Either way, have fun with that.
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Trash Heap Said,
Done! I said you were hilarious and would make for a great show!
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Fan of IBBB Said,
Done! Hope you get the gig. LOVE the recaps!!
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brich Said,
DONE DEAL!
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Shelly Said,
You know it’s love when I totally planned on entering myself, but gave up my only vote, selflessly, for you instead…You better nail that sh*t.
XOXO
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Brooke Said,
Done!
Btw, your “luke warm regards” makes me giggle every time -
alwayssunny Said,
fyi, i not only nominated you to be bartender i also nominated you to be tre’s new live-in nanny. you’re welcome.
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Brandon and Teresa's Restraining Order Said,
I really hope that the rules and regulations that I skipped right over don’t say that I have to watch Real Housewives every week for the rest of my life.
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Sheri Said,
Done! Hope you make it Patrick!
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kerry Said,
Done! Uhh, but Patrick I’m gonna need for you to give a shout out, and “kerry” better be on that list! Can’t wait to see you on the teevee
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Dirty Darl Said,
If they don’t pick you Patrick, I think we should host an Andy Cohen book burning. LOVE YOU
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Anne Said,
I totally voted for you, but now I need a NJ recap!
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Megan White Said,
Done! Take me with you so I can get the f out of indiana. im entirely too close to amber portwood.
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Isaac's Giant Sneakers Said,
Done and done! I wrote something so beautiful and eloquent. If only I had copied and pasted it so I could share it with you. I was in such a zone I can’t remember exactly what I said but I know I referenced you making Bravo “must see tv”.
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Lee's Summit Tigers Said,
Patrick Varone is my hero!!! I never watch WWHL but will if his trashbox butt is on there.
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Whogonacheckmeboo Said,
I sold out for you and sent your name on the website. Can’t wait for tm2 recap tomorrow
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VanderPUMPED Said,
I wish you’d blog more about the Housewives
New York has started without even a peep from my favorite blogger. -
Lesley Said,
They better make the guests sit on puffy leather couches in your honor! (But please don’t get all stabby on them.)
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IBBB Said,
Thanks all!!! I’m sure I’ll either get chosen…or sued, whichever comes first!
-IBBB
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rivers space seat Said,
done and done. do an ugly cry for us too
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Suzie Q Said,
Whoohoo I made it in time to vote for you. Good Luck. I don’t normally watch but to see you I will.
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Agni Said,
I will send in one too, as soon as you post the new RHONJ recap! I’m feeling unattended!
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Darlene Said,
done! can’t wait to watch you!!!
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LisaP Said,
done!…with all these “entries,” bravo HAS to at the very least check out your website, be blown the eff away by your talent, put you behind the bar at wwhl and, finally, give you your own show.
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Leah's future meth addiction Said,
I nominate Patrick Varone (of Im bringing blogging back.com) to be guest host. He recaps almost all of Bravo’s shows on his website and he is ridiculously hilarious. He is the perfect example of the type of ”Super fan” you are seeking. He’s fueled with more useless Bravo gossip than some of the cast members themselves. More importantly, he’s one sexy looking bastard and we all know that aesthetics trump actual knowledge any day of the week. In short, you’d definitely be making a mistake by choosing someone else who will obviously be no where near as handsome, witty, confident, and charming.
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Leah's future meth addiction Said,
That was my entry for you, Patsy boy! Hope you get it
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Pansy Said,
of course I nominated you.. b/c you are HILARIOUS!
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BlackholeofSkankdom Said,
I did it, but I realized I used the wrong form of “your” just as I hit submit. Hopefully they’ll take pity on me and choose you in spite of my retardedness.
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KittyCouture Said,
I nominated you but I think this means you need to get caught up on your housewives recaps now!!! Come on, you can’t say you are a housewives recapper if you don’t give us the goods!!
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Stephanie R Said,
Done and done… but ummmm… how about a jersey recap… come on now!!
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Charlene Said,
Done! I laid it on thick!!! Good luck!
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Baby Goop Said,
Done and done!
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Natalie Said,
Just saw this today and sent in my nomination.
Good Luck, Patrick! -
Yawny Said,
I helped. OLE
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Markus Vagar Said,
I needed to write you one very little note to be able to give thanks again relating to the amazing advice you have provided on this website. It was simply shockingly generous of people like you to convey unreservedly all that some people might have sold as an electronic book to generate some money for their own end, particularly considering that you could possibly have tried it in case you desired. These advice as well worked as a easy way to recognize that most people have a similar dreams like my very own to know the truth more regarding this condition. I am certain there are many more pleasurable opportunities ahead for individuals who look into your blog.
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Johnathon Kanzanbach Said,
An impressive share, I simply with all tHellos onto a colleague who had previously been doing little analysis during tHellos. Anf the husband in fact bought me breakfast due to the fact I discovered it for Hellom.. smile. So ok, i’ll reword that: Thnx to the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending any time go over tHellos, I believe strongly about tHellos and enjoy reading more about tHellos topic. Whenever possible, as you grow expertise, would you mind updating your blog site with a lot more details? It’s Helloghly helpful for me. Massive thumb up due to tHellos article!
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NBA jerseys Said,
it is first to be announced by the fans of the andylau:at see over this son hereafter word by word and sentence by sentence, my heart can”t be calm once in a very long while, shocking!why would like a son that like?!
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Laurie Said,
For the love of God, let this guy bar tend in the Bravo clubhouse!
