Feb
16

Teen Mom 2 Season Finale: Who Gets Custody of the Puffy Leather Couch?

Posted by IBBB

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Jenelle - Welcome to the latest edition of “Fauxlebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew and His Obsessive Need to Only Wear T-shirts Under His Blazer.” It’s a working title. That lil b*tch of a daughter, Jenelle, is living it up at “the ‘hab” and is ready to get her life back on track, but not before a female nurse with wet spikes is going to go through her personal belongings to make sure she didn’t pack a hatchet or Kieffah with her. I had to admit I love when ladies are rocking a spiked hairdo. It really says, “I’ve completely given up.” It also says, “Scissors tonight.” As one of the other nurses is counting out the 17 packs of Newports (which is odd for Jenelle to be smoking since Newports are usually more of an inner city smoke) she comes across some Marijuana cigarette remains. Jenelle very matter of fact says, “Those are blunt wrappers.” I always assumed a “blunt wrapper” was Flava Flav, but apparently I’m wrong. Also, it’s stupid that you don’t pronounce the “w” when a word begins with “wr.” I’m going to try and change that. And don’t even get me going on the “ph.” So dumb.

Within minutes Jenelle is brought into therapy, which is awesome because you totally know they’re going to make her point on the Barb doll where the bad man touched her when she was little. Is that never not funny? Hell is going to be a real treat. I’m hoping to see many of you there. I’m kidding. I will see all of you there. Therapy is instantly working because she tells her doctor that even though she’s smoked weeeeeeed every day for six years it’s not a problem for her…she’s just pissed that she’s not allowed to smoke it for one year. Oh, and also, it’s illegal. And smoking for 6 years? So she started when she was 12? You want to know what I was doing at 12? Not growing pubic hair. I mean, at 12 you should still be playing with toys and wearing metal braces. Ugh. Kids. Meanwhile, at another therapy session we learn that (1) Jenelle has a brother (is that code for “Pirate Mike?”) and (2) he is bipolar and has schizophrenia. To sum up, he’s a real hoot. The doctor wants her to fill out a questionnaire to figure out if she too is bipolar. I think it would be just as effective to find the same answer in a fortune cookie. “You’re clinically nuts. Lucky Numbers: 7, 13, 24, 42, 59.”

In the moment we’ve all been waiting for, Jenelle breaks down and cries to her therapist that she’s pissed off because she can’t smoke and she’s bored. How can there be nothing to do in rehab? Why not try out cutting? Her therapist looks at her like maybe Barb really is right and this chick is bricks like the rest of ‘em. When the therapist asks Jenelle to use three words to describe herself she answers with: Impulsive, smart, angry. Wrong! We all know the answer to that question is ALWAYS: Easy, breezy, beautiful. Luckily after two weeks Jenelle is starting to do a little bit better and because of that she gets her phone and computer privileges back! Phew! She’s just in time to get 2 weeks worth of text messages from Queen LaQueefer and a special phone call from him. Since she’s off “the weed” and on “the meds” she’s a little more level headed and she decides to tell Special K that they shouldn’t see each other anymore. Why she’s given up her ultimate dream of living a life on the grassy knoll is beyond me. Special K ends up telling Jenelle that he’s moving on and then immediately hangs up the phone. Something tells me he’ll be knocking on Leah’s trailer door (y’all) by next season.

Our heroine keeps making progress in rehab and the therapist thinks it’s a good time to have the both of them call Barb in the bungalow. I, too, think this is a good time. When they tell Barb that Jenelle might be bipolar Barb just says, “Well I always thought you had the bipolar.” Ba da ba ba ba, I’m lovin’ it! They end up fighting a little over the phone and by the time they hang up I’m pretty sure the therapist is ready to diagnose Barb too. Later, we all get a treat for “the eyes” when Jenelle gets to Skype with Barb and we see Barbarella in a little yellow tank-top with her beloved rack hanging out. And you know that Mike tries to pull that tank top down with his hook. “Let me see ye treasure chest, arrrg!” That’s how I pretend Pirate Mike talks in my head. Not for nothing my dream in life is to now be able to Skype with Barb. How intense would that be! I bet her Skype screen-name is “Meme6969.” Awesome.

In the end, Jenelle is “cured” and is checking on out of “the ‘hab” and ready to fly back home. She’s greeted at the airport by Barb and Jace with matching haircuts. I’m not joking, they both have spikes. I love it. I picture Barb going to the barber, sits down on the chair, and simply says, “One boys regulaaah, please.” Barb, of course, looks as handsome as ever and, per usual, is sporting her blue top one last time for us. Personally I felt like this was her way of sending me a special message. I read ya loud and clear, Barb, loud and clear! After munching on a hamburger as she drives, they all end up back home and we’re all welcomed with a giant “no trespassing” sign on the front window. Once again, I feel like that’s a special message just for me. Jenelle was nice enough to buy a leather jacket for Jace because, you know, that makes any kind of sense and she also bought Barb a giant white hoodie sweatshirt that says “Hollywood” across it. I’m almost certain that goes against the dress code at Walmart, but maybe she can wear it on the weekend when she isn’t working at Walmart, but just simply shopping at Walmart. In closing, I really hope Jenelle gets her life in order. I say that knowing that she hasn’t and has probably been arrested 6 times since I started typing this, but at the end of the day I’m really only interested in the life of Barb and, well, if I don’t one day see her on an episode of Hoarders I will have failed at life.

Leah – Hey y’all we is divorcin’! I’m not sure what goes on down in West Virginia, but the one thing I do know is that apparently in their newspaper they have a section that specifically talks about who’s getting divorced that week. I’m sure directly after that there’s an article from a man who’s interviewed his toaster. Corey reads this “news” in the paper and calls his friend to let him know that he’s getting a divorce, y’all! He ends up taking off his wedding ring which I find not sad at all. In fact, I think if Leah were to also take hers off they could totally combine them together with some chicken-wire and make some funky metal glasses for the the one with the goggles. Always. Be. Thinking.

Meanwhile, Leah is still going to move into her trailer even though she spent all her money on her law-yuh. Lucky for her, her mom and “Lee” is going to loan her the money and she can just pay them back later. She should sell one of her kids on the black market in order to make this all work out. You wanna buy one of my babies, y’all? The CraigsList ad basically writes itself. More importantly, Leah’s mom has red Kool-Aid streaks in her hair and she looks like Kelly Clarkson circa 2001 Idol auditions. You know, I think I may have solved the poverty issue in West VA. Stop spending so much money on your hair! I mean, where are you going really? Later, Leah breaks down and cries when her mom decides to spring it on her that her wedding album finally came in the mail. Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just pick up a copy of Us Weekly? Or she could have read this here blog. I had some real nice cut-and-paste pictures from the wedding. Either way, she just cries and cries in her mothers bosom. I was waiting her for start screaming, “I slutted, Momma, I slutted!”

In “awesome news” we learn that Leah’s trailer cost…wait for it…wait for it…$3,000. I don’t even know if that’s American dollars or if they’re still using Confederate currency. I have no clue. I used to just draw pictures in my Social Studies book, I never paid attention. Plus, I never knew the difference between Social Studies and History. I know one talked a lot about Harriet Tubman so, well, there’s that. Later, Leah struggles with having to deal with only being able to give Cory the kids via the law-yuh. She should just leave them there, put a motor on the trailer, and just move on with her life. I’m kidding. I’ll take them. We’ll go to the circus and the like. Leah ends up getting really deep when she’s chatting on the porch with her sister about her marriage. She ends up saying, “This was a marriage that lead to divorce.” Wow. Really? I’m pretty sure this was a marriage that secured your spot on Season 3 of Teen Mom 2. Moreover, I wish she would stop crying because if I have to see her man-hands on her face one more time I’m going to puke up my sandwich.

In the end, Leah ends up having to go to Corey’s house to pick up the girls (after the dropped them off for Corey at the law-yuh) and she’ll also be taking all her stuff back, so Lee’s there to pack up the truck. This basically turns into the most white trash version of The Price is Right ever. I mean, I’m watching people haul puffy leather couches out the door. I’m watching dirty spoons being divided up. I’m watching bed bugs eat at everyones skin. My favorite part, however, was when they were trying to see what happens with the washer and dryer and ultimately decide that Leah will get the washer and Corey will get the dryer. I think it would have been safer to wash the twins in the washing machine instead of that nasty tub in the basement, but that’s just me. I’m innovative. And what is Corey going to do with a dryer? Eh, maybe he’ll tumble-dry his camo hat so it sheds some additional strings. It’s nice to have goals. Before leaving, Leah has yet another breakdown and is crying on the disgusting dirty floor with her bare feet on the rug all while garbage and swill is sprawled to and fro. She keeps saying, “I don’t want this!” Well maybe if she brought her vag to the geneticist they would have sewn it shut and she wouldn’t have had “the sex” with Robbie and his lip ring. Leah runs out of the house with her LC mascara running down her face and quickly buckles the twins into the car and takes off into the sunset with Lee. You totally know she was doing road head on the ride back to her $3K trailer. I miss those crunchy curls, y’all!

Kail – It’s the aftermath of the Cowardly Lion and Rizzo the Rat rubbing their extremely unattractive (and most likely, chinless) private parts against each other in the heat of the moment, you know, after reading Humpty Dumpty to a child. Technically this should make the both registered sex offenders, but that’s only my rules and, well, my rules don’t become laws. Unless I become Mayor of this blog and then I’m pretty sure it will. I truly believe this is how laws are made. Where was I? Oh yeah. Kail is telling her friend, who I assume is actually Nikki Blonsky, that things “went too far” between her and Jo. If by “too far” she really means “Janet sat in the corner and scrapbooked whilst they had sex” then, yes, things went too far. Nikki Blonsky thinks this is the most scandalous thing that Kail has told her since she said that she was pregnant. I think this is the most scandalous thing Kail has said since she told Dorothy she was looking for courage and did a little jig up the yellow brick(s) road.

Jo, on the other hand, is telling his side of the story and it’s a bit more detailed than Kail’s telling of the story. Apparently things went down like this, “We read Issac a story, put him to bed, and then had sex in the shower.” Good god. Imagine seeing her hair wet in the shower? You totally know it must get caught in both her ass crack and vag crack. Speaking of crack, I miss Suzi. And why is Jo and his brother just sitting in an almost empty garage? He’s like Ryan from Teen Mom 1, but with more street cred because of, you know, the “rapping career.” Meanwhile, Kail decides it’s time to tell poor dumb Jordan that she knocked boots with Jo during his week day visit (#TeenMomProblems). I like the fact that when she told Jordan, she made it seem like he doesn’t understand what she goes through. And, not for nothing, but she’s kinda being a b*tch to him. Oh Kail, you’re as crazy as your crazy mother. And she keeps telling Jordan that through this all “good results came out of it.” Is that code for “the sex was good?” Yuck. Jordan packs up the few of this belongings and storms out of the “house” all whilst not closing the door behind him. I love when people do that. It’s a last minute “F you” by keeping that door open. It totally says, “Yeah, I left that door ajar. Now you need to close it. So there.”

In the end, Jo comes over to chat with Kail and she tells him that now that Jordan is out of her life she wants to be with a real-life rapper instead. To my shock, Jo says that he’s just “living life” and isn’t looking for a girlfriend and basically doesn’t want to be with the Cowardly Lion. I guess he was just in it for the shower sex, something that Leah and Corey were never able to do because…you know…they couldn’t both fit in it. By the way I definitely think that “I’m just living my life” should be the name of Jo’s next “rap” song. Kail ends her season by crying and saying she now knows how Jo feels when he wanted to be with her and she didn’t want to be with him. Somewhere wearing a Loony Tunes t-shirt with Bugs Bunny’s face on the front and the back of Bugs Bunny’s head on the back, Janet’s mustache is smiling ear to ear.

Chelsea – More orange, less GED.

Well folks, that wraps up another season of Teen Mom 2. We laughed, we didn’t cry, we recrapped the sh*t out of it. So, if you liked the recaps, click on the Recommend button and share this with your friends. Oh, and speaking of friends join me on my Facebook page and let’s get through the lack of Teen Mom together. Like a support group for “the poors.”

97 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

IBBB Said,
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a yankee Said,
It’s about time this is up. I was about to get my law-yuh to sew your ass for being late like a pregnant teen.
a yankee Said,
sue* damn auto correct!
Chelsea's Mom's Living Room Remote Said,
I’m so happy you don’t waste any time recapping Chelsea’s segments. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that girl is the worst. I’m glad this season is over because I can’t handle another second of her moping around with her lowly self. The only time that girl flashes her Randy-made smile is when Adumb pays even the tiniest bit of attention to her.

“Are you judging me?? Stop judging me!!”
Lizz Said,
Loooove it Lets make babies.. Little googly eyed, short armed, pissed off babies.
Kail's Big Brown Headband Said,
Oh Patrick, you’re starting my morning off right! Me gusta! Wonderful as always. I was hoping you’d mention the matching haircuts from babah’s babah It’s like you’re in my brain.
Becs Said,
Two things. 1. Is anyone else really sad over the divorce? Yes, Leah screwed (pun not intended) up, but I think she really regretted it and seemed to want to work it out. Not one person she talked to told her to try to contest the divorce and work on their marriage. Everyone jumped right into telling her to divorce him. Even that horrible lawyer was pressuring her to file first. She sat there looking so scared and unsure and they pushed her to file. WTF was that about? The girl needed a good influence and she had no one.
2. Chelsea is a classic abused woman. Adam emotionally abuses her and she just keeps forgiving him and taking him back so he can keep abusing her.

It makes me so sad to see these girls throwing their lives away just to be on TV. Sigh. I’m depressed now.
CrackinUp Said,
Love it– love it!
I’m suprised you didnt mention the blurred out vodka bottles in the backround on the top of Kail’s stove when she was in the kitchen chatting it up with her friend. Maybe it was just olive oil and vinegar bottles- but i swear i saw a blurred out bottle of vodka…and i know my vodka, haha.

Im all about Kail and Jo the “rapper” getting back together so we can see more Janet, but…you’re right– Kail was a complete bitch to Jordan. Shes a brat! She didnt seem to care or feel bad in any way for what she did.
This just proves (again) that she’s a little cheatin’ sneak! Something Janet pointed out long ago!!
Brenda Walsh Said,
Why are the girls on this show such cheaters? At least Leah had the decency to feel badly about the whole thing and shed some tears. Kailyn was a total bitch and not the least bit apologetic.

I think MTV needs to combine Teen Mom and Teen Mom 2 into one show because some of these girls (Amber, Janelle, Caitlyn) are not moms at all and some (Chelsea and Caitlyn again) are so boring because their story never changes. So I propose a Teen Mom Super Size Season featuring Farrah, Kail, Maci, and Leah. Thank me later MTV.
Anonymous Said,
i love how kail was mad at jordan because he wasnt all understanding that she and jo boinked in the shower.chelsea really pissed me off.adam is just using you,honey!!and wtf did barb do to jaces hair?jace is a cutie pie but that haircut sucked.
donna Said,
why did i come up as anonymous?my computer hates me.also,leah and hat string were only married 6 months.why did no one suggest counseling?
donna Said,
also,when jo was talking to his brother,i had no idea what he said.so,the first i learned of this was here.now i have to get the horrible picture of them in the shower out of my mind.
donna Said,
brenda,i think jenelle is there because of the drama she brings,i agree chelsea is a snoozefest.catelyn is there because of butch and april.
Long time IBBB fan Said,
Is it just me or does it seem like Jo was plotting this whole revenge on Kail from the beginning? He never wanted to be with her again. She looked like a fool. That karma from cheating on Jordan came back fast didn’t it? Sure Jordan may not have been “the one” but he was always good to her.
Bitch Jungle Said,
yeah, Leah jumped the gun on that one. Corey was a good guy. Apparently, she is engaged again… Isn’t it only a year or less since this other stuff was filmed? definitely not enough time to meet someone, date someone, be in a committed relationship and then get engaged. please. but i agree. what about trying counseling first. Robbie was all pimply and nasty.

is anyone the least bit surprised that Jenelle is Bipolar? she is pretty much textbook. i give that same questionnaire to people at work.
kerry Said,
chelsea should just off herself; putting her life on hold, laying around moping over a tool that wouldn’t be able to score a normal girl’s phone number even if he offered money.
and was that a feather in her mother’s hair while she went out looking for men?! i see where chelsea get’s it from and it’s clear that having one well-adjusted parent in randy wasn’t enough to give bricks a fighting chance.

i felt so bad for corey. leah’s mind is so twisted she commented, “it doesn’t have to be like this,” when he said she could take the washer. what’s the problem? he gave you what you wanted.

kailyn just learned karma’s a btch!
Kelli Said,
I loved the recap and I love you!!!This made watching this whole awful season worth it!!
Lisa Said,
anyone else ever notice how often Chelsea will start one of her scenes with “I haven’t seen Adam in over a month…” does this mean he goes over a month without seeing Aubree too? what a deadbeat. does he just show up for the cameras? WTF does she see in him? it’s so frustrating to watch her pine away for someone that doesn’t seem to have many (any?) redeeming qualities.

Kail and Jo in the shower…ugh. I think he’s been planning that for a while. he seems very calculating with his time being filmed. I think everything from showing his rap “career” to getting revenge on Kail was planned out.
Charlene Said,
I do not feel bad for Leah but know that she clearly was not ready for marriage. Nor was Cory for that matter, despite his best efforts. I feel bad for that poor puffy leather couch though!
Janet's 'stache Said,
I thought Jenelle said “my MOTHER”, not “my BROTHER” has schizophrenia! Is it wrong that I’m kinda bummed about that? And now I wanna google Jenelle’s brother lol

The condition of Cory and Leah’s trailer after the furniture was moved. What. The. Hell. It looked like a landfill in that place! What WAS all that crap? Socks and trash? No excuse for that kind of mess, sorry.

It’s no secret I love me some Kail, but she disappointed me. Not only for being such a bitch to Jordan, but because it led to MTV revealing through Jo that “the sex” took place in the shower. There’s a visual I did. Not. Need.

Aubree is looking more and more like Adumb-uh with each show, and it annoys the sh*t out of me. And Chelsea-uh just needs a serious kick in the ass, and so do her parents! What a pathetic group. Little Aubree-uh doesn’t stand a chance!

A thanks to Patrick for yet another brilliant recap, and a thanks in advance for all the fabulously funny comments that are going to be posted all day and keeping me entertained!
donna Said,
all these girls houses look like crap.i cringed when i saw the empty trailer.googles and not goggles were walking and crawling and living in that trash heap.
Justlikehoneyboobooboo Said,
I love how Jenelle brings souvenirs back from rehab, like she was on vacation. And I love Barb, but she butchered poor Jace’s hair. Did you see the back of it?! It looked like someone stuck gum in his hair(Kiefer, maybe?), and Barb had to hack it out with the kitchen scissors.
Corey's Boogers Said,
Brilliant. Seriously, I would have stopped watching this show a few weeks ago if not for this blog. It makes my life complete. <3
kasey Said,
Can someone from the West Virginia please tell me if they really list divorces in the newspapers? Or maybe they do that here in New York too and I just need to read less blogs, more real news??
Carp Said,
I hate Corey’s disgusting hat like the fire of a thousand burning suns. Everytime I see it, I can’t help but invision how bad it must smell. Leah could’ve at least given it a courtesy wash before Lee loaded the machine onto the truck. The fact that he was wearing it during the wedding festivities only made Leah feel okay about banging an old flame days before the exchanging of the rings.

p.s. looking at their house with all the furniture out of it made me itchy. Light a match and walk away y’all!
Justlikehoneyboobooboo Said,
@Kerry, I noticed the feather in her mother’s hair too. Chelsea was wearing one as well. The more they show them together, the clearer It’s become Chelsea is an exact clone of her mother.
Legend Said,
The Burger crammed in Barbs mouth was the only good thing about this crapisode.
Adam's little bastard Said,
Random observations:

Jenelle- I love Barb but she did not teach Jenelle how to properly give a handshake. Drove me nuts when she just placed her claw in the palm of everyone’s hands she met. And how did she say with a straight face that Barb was all about Barb when she is raising Jenelle’s child for her?! Talk about bricks.

Kail- I loathe her. Suzi may not have been a great role model but surely she didn’t think she was justified to cheat on someone did she? Sure seemed that way. Also, what was the “good result” that came out of it anyway? Afterglow?

Leah- I agree she was wrong in the first place to cheat but Corey did say he didn’t love her or want to work it out so…
and the fact that she let her babies not only crawl but eat Cheetos off that floor makes me wonder why she was so freaked out about the bath-ing process. How different was it really? Seems on par with that place.

Chelsea- I did happen to notice that she put in her tongue piercing for her date with Adam. Just sayin’.
Daddy Don't Hit Me Again Please Said,
Did anyone else notice the TOD smile on Chelsea’s face whilst riding in the gravedigger with Adumb? I’m beginning to wonder what is actually cut out of filming because poor Aubree screams like a wild banshee every time Daddy tries to put his hands on her.

Kail.. Jo is a serious rapper now, he can’t be wifed up with his first baby’s mama. WTH were you thinking?

Jenelle- Get a grip lady. There’s not much else to say about this episode because we already learned from the reunion preview that rehab didn’t work out. Thanks a lot for spoiling that for us MTV! We didn’t see that coming at all.

Leah- Playing the victim is difficult when you’re the one filing for divorce. If you really didn’t want that then you could have left your second rate google attorneys office and went to get your husband back. I mean, it’s not like he’s straying too far from his mansion in the hills as he has made obvious.
Alyssa Said,
Love how the Cowardly Lion tried to reverse the heat on Jordan…what a snatch. She didn’t fall too far from Susie’s nutty tree. Jail is going o be the spitting image of Susie in about 10-15 years.

Chelsea is such a sad sack. A classic abuse victim going back to her loser boyfriend. Her daughter is bound to follow in her footsteps which is pretty sad. She needs professional help.

Jenelle….”I’m bored and can’t smoke weed!” Waaaaaa!!!!!

She’s pathetic and a poor excuse for a mother.

Leah…sorry, I can’t find sympathy for a girl who bangs her ex one week before her wedding, especially when kids are involved. She dug her grave on that one.
Alyssa Said,
Jail….love the auto correct on my iPad. Supposed to be Kail.
Bitch Jungle Said,
Chelsea’s mom has been in every single episode this season almost. no real friends? and, yes, Chelsea, is definitely her mom. scary. both of their hair colors change several times throughout each episode.
the2v's Said,
Well, as always I’m glad it is over but I still want to know more… it is an illness we all share

Janelle – You’re still alive? Damnit, I thought you would take my hint from last time and eat a bullet. So you smoked every single day for 6 years… Did you do that while you were pregnant with Jace? That poor child needs to be put up for adoption away from all those lunatics and with a proper household with values and respect. Give us all a break, you suck and you know it you bipolar wack-job!

Kail – KARMA IS A B-I-T-C-H!!!! *sing it when you read it!* Jo worked you like a high priced hooker for a discount, but we all know you could never be a high priced hooker, just a hooker with baggage! And how could you be such a BITCH to Jordan? I admit, he looks and act like a 10 y/o that hit puberty to damn early but he is still a simple and nice guy. And you were trying to justify your infidelity? You suck.

Leah – I don’t want this, I don’t want this… THEN DON’T DO IT! AND WORK ON IT! Dumbass, if you don’t want something you withdraw those paper and go to counseling and if that doesn’t work then you divorce. There is nothing wrong about being young and marrying, my husband and I were 20 & 21 when we hitched and we had kids and are still married. What it takes is maturity and honesty and true love, not for a show.

Chelsea – You must love abuse because you keep going back to ADumb. He’s a jerk and only wants you for a damn booty call! You’re a great mom and you’re smart, keep it around the people that truly love you and keep that jerk away from you and your girl. Plain and SIMPLE!
Icka Said,
My favorite part of the episode was when Chelsea was shocked to see Adam at the Car Show. He’s a car enthusiast in South Dakota. Where the hell else would he be?

The cherry on top was when Adam saw Chelsea and HIS DAUGHTER and didn’t say hi to either. It’s one thing to hate Chelsea, but at least say hello to your freaking kid.
Kail is a moron Said,
Poor Kailyn…you’re the only one on the show in college….how could you be so stupid?! Did she really think Jo would want to get back with her? And why would she want to get back with that nasty dude anyway? I really felt bad for Jordan. Yeah, he’s a bit of a dufus, but he’s been nothing but respectful and nice to Kailyn AND Isaac. Good luck finding that again! I missed the part where Jo mumbled about the shower sex to his brother(why doesn’t he have subtitles too?)…honestly, there goes my f’ing lunch.

I kind of enjoying all of Leah’s crying…that’s what happens when you a cheatin’ hoe, y’all!(LOVED the comment about taking their rings and making goggles). I always thought when people broke up, one person would pay the other their share to keep the washer and dryer. Not these two…they each took one. Them two is so smart!!! Does anyone know if Leah and her new fiance are living in the $3000 trailer? I soooooo can’t wait to see it!

Jenelle, Jenelle, Jenelle…she’s been arrested several times this year, but none of them have been for smoking pot. Did rehab actually work?! Are they not giving her random drug tests? I want answers!

Finally Chelsea…who cares about her, but did anyone else think Aubree looked different this episode? To me, she seemed like she aged several months(and actually had hair). So good to know if I need to look for a new man, all I need to do is go to the car show in S.D…..woohoo!!!!!
dacabsarehere Said,
First off, I only caught a glimpse of this show but the blogs have been filling in the spots for me. Therefore, I have to say I am so happy that people are starting to see Kail for the piece of dog shit she is. Everybody always seems to love her depressing, woe is me, furry face. I for one, have been on to her from the beginning. I don’t give a rat’s tit what anyone says but the way she did to Jo, after living in his house and living off him and his parents from the get go was wrong. Jo is not innocent and did a lot of stupid things, like EVERY dad on this show but when she wanted to start dating sped she needed to get the fawk out of his basement. That was so disrespectful and not just to Jo but to Janet who did more for Kail than that rotten role model mother of hers, whom she has now turned into. I am so happy to see everybody realize how much of whiney ass cry baby she is.

Secondly, where I live in Michigan/Ohio border, the newspaper prints divorces in the court section.

Thirdly, Kail sucks, o wait I think I covered that. Bahahahahaaha
Kail is a moron Said,
Alyssa, that’s so funny you mentioned Jenelle and her “I’m sooooo bored and can’t smoke weed!!!!” Waaaaaaa is right! Are we supposed to feel so bad for her? I wanted to throw Barb’s half eaten cheeseburger at her. Did she think the doctors at rehab are only there to entertain her? This isn’t Sweepstakes! I guess she thinks any trip to Cali is a vacation…love that she brought back souvenirs, was hoping for more “Ugg” boots!

So glad there is another episode next week…not sure what I’m going to do without these sluts, Patrick’s blog and all the funny comments. I hope this won’t force me to watch Jersey Shore just so I can enjoy more of Patrick’s brilliance. No. more. Snookie….
Janet's 'stache Said,
Check this out…minus the spaces…. www . starcasm. net/archives/144177
donna Said,
dacabsrehere,i think im on whitney overload cause when i read your post i thought it said whitneys ass.well im off to get new glasses since i cant see.maybe ill get goggles.
Janelle's Ugly Toes Said,
I think Jo totally had planned to get closer to Kail so she wouldn’t ask for more child support etc…and then the opportunity to get laid was something he took…why not? (I mean I know 1,000 reasons why not..)

How can Jordan be such an ass and not get the BOND between men and their baby mama’s? Why is Jordan upset?

God, what a self centered bitch she is.

Corey and Leah….enough…please….stop crying the both of you it makes me sick.

Janelle..you suck.

Adam is obviously very very rough with Aubree or something because she does cry when he comes near her and we have only seen him drop her on the floor once…god knows what he does when they are alone…which is rare…which is good for her sake. That kid is a such a loser. Did you see how small he was compared to the giant steering wheel in his truck? Weren’t you turned on when he revved up the engine?

Can’t wait for the “unseen moments” and the reunion…and these recaps make my whole week.
Daisy H Said,
All I can really say about all 4 of these pathetic girls is that they are all such dumbass hos!!!!!!!!

Corey literally turned Leah down for sex for a week ( BTW probably because he had a nasty cold) before she couldn’t take it and went back to the ex!!! Give your vagina a rest!!!

Kailyn is a douche and a bitch. I think Jo totally planned that to get back at her. Karma is a bitch. Jordan is too good for her skank ass. She actually seemed annoyed that he couldn’t understand why she slipped up. She slipped up because she is a horny bitch.

Chelsea and her mom are both so incredibly stupid!!! Adumb probably missed his usual Chelsea Blow jobs so he figured he would call her up, act somewhat civil to her, knowing full well that in the end she would be giving him the sex. No sympathy for her at all!!! Her goofy smile everytime she is near Adumb is so embarassing. I am just waiting for her to start drooling!!! PATHETIC!!!!

Jenelle, what can I say??? Get a clue. In the real world people can’t just smoke weed all day long and not have to deal with life. Take care of that poor baby and stop thinking about how bored you are all the time.
Post coital short and curlies in Kail's shower Said,
Bricks- She’s not a beating victim, she’s pure stupidity in leopard print and a George Washington wig. Props to those above who pointed out how Adumbuhh not only blew off Chelsea, but his own daughter. That said, out of all the “moms” this season, and I use that term more loosely than Leah’s vag before her wedding day. Chelsea does seem to genuinely love Aubreeeeeeuh. Too bad her self esteem is on a milk carton.
Leah- Did anyone else notice the “new” trailer looked like it had bombed out windows and the door was hanging open? I’m going to guess that’s how the last owners left it when the cops shook down their meth lab. I think Uncle Lee paid too much.
The Cowardly Lion- Can we say sociopath? That is all.
Janelle- Bahb’ s vag is a bipolar dispenser. Who knew? Nice of Bahb to get Jace a matching 1990’s lesbian haircut.

Off topic, did anyone read about Ambuh getting kicked out of section 8 housing because she made 280,000 dollars last year? I expect Leah, Alibaba, and Goggles to be in at least doublewide by next season.
donna Said,
ok,heres a thought.is corey even really goggles and not goggles father?
Brenda Walsh Said,
For those asking if Janelle stopped smoking weed while pregnant, the answer is NO. She actually tried to defend herself on Twitter a few months ago. She openly admitted to smoking while pregnant, then got mad at people calling her a shitty mom and tried to defend herself by saying that doctors prescribe medical marijuana all the time, so it’s safe. I also think she claimed her doc told her it was ok in the 3rd trimester, which-please Janelle, we are not as stupid as you. Trash box.
donna Said,
brenda,there is actually a video of jenelle lighting up while pregnant.
Penelope Said,
“Wouldn’t it have been cheaper to just pick up a copy of Us Weekly?”

I almost choked to death on my coffee. My favorite line in a recap full of hilarity. XOXOXO
Kail is a moron Said,
Janet’s ’stache, thanks for posting that! Makes you have to wonder what else happened that wasn’t aired…
Laurie Said,
Did anyone notice what looked liked marijuana leaves on Janelle’s curtains when she came home? I rewinded 2 or 3 times…that is a good thing to see when you are back from rehab!
Suzie Q Said,
CrackinUp, I noticed that to but one was definitely a Parrot Bay Bottle. That is about all I saw of the episode.
IloveIBBB Said,
@kasey…Unfortunately, I am from WV. Yes, they do post divorce notices in the paper. And that paper is one of the biggest ones in the state.

However, Corey acted like that was how he found out she filed. But I’m pretty sure he was probably served with divorce papers before it was in the newspaper. Not sure why they made it look like that’s how he found out.
CrackinUp Said,
Of you’re right, it was Parrot Bay Rum– maybe she and Jo played a drinking game before they hopped in the shower that special night??….Ew, i just got a wave of nausea!
QueenofCorona Said,
So Kail’s friend is the child who played Curly Sue, no?

Chelsea’s mom +Chelsea=desperation, party of 2. Extra gold chains and hair feathers. Claire’s Boutique threw up on Mama Houska.
Ibbb4eva Said,
Bitch jungle – not only is she engaged I think Leah is knocked up again
donna Said,
leah had a miscarriage
JonA Said,
Jenelle – Was I the only one cracking up at Jace’s reaction to Jenelle at the airport? Like, “Who dis bitch?” And I’m glad they had the butch lez ready to get Jenelle scared up front at rehab. You could totally tell everyone at that facility hated her. I don’t blame them – she’s obvs a waste of their time.

Kail – Dude, I can’t believe what a cu*t she was to Dopey! Just because she had a kid with Rizzo doesn’t mean she gets a cheating pass for the rest of her miserable life! And I totally saw all the vodka bottles lined up in the kitchen, too. Classy.

Leah – If the bitch doesn’t want to get divorced, why is she signing the papers so quickly? I couldn’t believe when she took her friend to see the “new” trailer she kept pestering Corey about. No wonder he didn’t want to move. And really? Your TM money can’t get you the $5,000 model? Brand new cars, yet living in a shit hole.

Chelsea – I can’t with this ho – I don’t blame Patrick for skipping her ass. And wtf is with that new Jeep? Randyliciuous is such a “I couldn’t be there for you as a kid so here’s these new shiny things” dad. You would think Adumb just proposed when he told Chelsea that they could be “good friends.” She’s that desperate.
Good results Said,
Well. I think we all knew that Kail had some skank in her tank.
Heather Said,
No one mentioned my favorite part. The counselor told Jenelle that her mom seemed very attached to her “for some reason.” Like it was inconceivable that anyone on earth, even her own mother, could like her. That was so awesome, though sadly Jenelle did not seem offended.

Also, just noticed Adam has a tribal arm band tattoo. YES!!!
anggg Said,
hahaha the skype screan name was the best partt…and i guess janelle was smoking while preggers…fabulous, just fabulous
Kate Said,
I’m kind of sad that we won’t get to see these trash bags for awhile (and thus no IBBB recaps). But when does the new season of Teen Mom: Original Recipe start? I’ve missed Deb’s trash claw.

I guess we have to wait until next season to get a proper tour of Leah’s new trailer, y’all. Very disappointed. By the way, are those Goggles’ splints in that last pic with the puffy couch? It occurred to me when they showed a shot with her feet last night that I don’t think we’ve seen the splints since the episode when she got them. I guess the Cheetos did the trick, y’all. Or not. Based on pics of them getting ready for the “pageant” this weekend, Goggles is still not walking.

Kail is cray-cray. And thanks to the inquiry last week on here regarding her house, I too am now wondering what it used to be. Very odd looking place. But unlike Leah & Corey’s shack, I guess it has a proper shower. And now I need to go take a shower myself because I feel icky just thinking about her & Rizzo….

Chelsea- Yeah. I’ll stick with Patrick’s commentary on her. But I did notice that Aubree looked quite a bit older this week, her hair seemed longer or something. Maybe Chelsea is practicing for “hair school” by giving Aubree a weave?

Jenelle- Poor Jace. His expression just breaks my heart. It’s like he is already resigned to his fate. They made him look like a little punk with the haircut and leather jacket. And what was up with LaQueffah acting all surprised when Jennelle wanted to call things off. Didn’t they already break up last week before she went to The Hab? By the way, I have exciting news for you, Patrick! A reliable source informed me that Barb recently moved out of the bungalow! I think you need a vacation home down here in the NC! I’m sure she and Jenelle left all sorts of treats behind. No telling what’s buried in the back yard. I don’t think it’s oceanfront, but I hear it has a beautiful view of the grassy knoll.
Janet's 'stache Said,
That tat must have taken no time at all on Adumb’s spindly little twig arms!

Sorry, can’t stand that douche.

I suspect the only time he asks to get Aubree for the weekend is when his parents want to see her. It’s so sad how that baby reacts anytime he comes near her. She’s obviously scared to death of him. Very sad.
anggg Said,
im pretty excited to see the babies on tmz in 15 years for being arrested/pregnant/whores/drug addicts
Wednesdaystreat Said,
The only thing from Leah’s episode that struck me (other than the nasty floor which has been addressed) is that if there was ANY doubt that goggles is Cory’s kid, WATCH what she looks like in her car seat right when Leah is about to drop them off at the LAWYEAR to be picked up by Cory and his Dad. She does that mouth open, DUH look JUST LIKE CORY!

Chelsea and her mom–are gross. And by the way, do they now LIVE together?? I guess her mom wanted a lot more screen time in order to maybe land herself a man! I hope this woman never wonders why her daughter is a PATHETIC I NEED A MAN AT ALL TIMES HO! I LOVE how her mom is just like “TISK TISK, I don’t like the sound of THAT—but you two go ahead and talk and yeah, go ahead and climb on the back of that motorcycle (helmetless) and get all sucked into his BS again. Her mom has the maturity of a 13 year old. “Let’s go the Car SHOWWW and find a maaaan!! SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!” That is all.

Jenelle’s therapist, (the woman) was scary and mean. But I guess I would be too if I had some stinky girl who never changed her tie die hoodie the whole time (including for sleep) in front of me too.

Kail: I was so mad when Rat Boy gave us the added details. I SO didn’t’ need that! I agree with whoever said GOOD LUCK finding another one who will treat her and Isaac that well–even though Jordan was bizaare. Again, Kail admits, “I have nobody now, so I want you, Jo.”

These girls need to go back to the ERA times and get a “A Woman Needs a Man like a Fish Needs a Bicycle” t-shirt.
Wednesdaystreat Said,
Oops–wouldn’t be complete w/out me forgetting something I wanted to add:

I wanted to punch Chelsea when she’s on the patio with her mom and keeps saying, “THIS IS MY FRIEND!!! We’re best friends!” Referring to Aubree. Maybe they can troll for dudes together in about 14 years. Or less.
donna Said,
chelsea,you are aubrees mom not her friend,everyone talks like chelseas a good mom but i see a bunch of abusive relationships in her future.and how is she a good mom?she never plays with aubree,shes too busy telling whoever is her captive audience today about her and adams latest issue.
me Said,
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THAT ON THE WAY BACK FROM THE AIRPORT THAT JACES CARSEAT STRAPS WERE DUCT TAPED?!
Wednesdaystreat Said,
Just read that Amber was evicted from her low-income housing for defrauding the govt. She claimed a 10,000.00 income last year, when in fact, it was 280,000.00. However, it doesn’t matter to her that much since she’s locked up at the moment anyway.
donna Said,
me,i didnt notice.ill have to watch again.
Jenelle's Dime Bag Said,
Patrick, I will be sitting in hell right beside you. I just hope that Barb is there and is wearing a bikini.
Skank Ho's Y'all Said,
Awesome recap and comments (as usual)…OMG, I totally cringed when I saw that trailer after the ’swap meet’. I just kept thinking who knows what those babies put into their mouths. I was embarrassed for her.. She should be ashamed of herself. Even if she was ‘dirty’ in real life, you would think that she would pretend to be ‘clean’ while filming was taking place. Anyone else notice the screen door w/o the screen in it…and she was worried about her kids being in the basement??? Oh, and the new crawl space looks waaaay better, don’t ya think? LOVED when jordan packed all his stuff into the tupperware container and left out, lol. Kail got what she deserved and I’m glad rat boy played her. Chelsea is a waste of time and space. The only ‘good thing’ about Jannelle is Bawb. I was hoping you were gonna point out the slutty tank top she was wearing during the skype, lolololol….
Suzie Q Said,
Anyone else notice how were all bonding over losers. It’s true love. Patrick brought us all together. Thank you Patrick for showing us their is others like us. Complete and udder assholes we are and I love it and wouldn’t have it any other way. That is why MTV created the show right?
Corey's Subtitle Writer/Interpreter Said,
My favorite part was Leah’s stepdad saying “I stink but I love you.” I’m pretty sure those were the honeyed words that Robbie used to get into her pantaloons the week before the wedding.
unexplored points Said,
Nobody ever notices the very obvious fact that Adam does not come back for the sex with Goofball – He comes back for the camera time. Being on the show likely gets him tons of low-self-esteem tail. He also gets a healthy check every time he is shown, just like everyone whose face is not blurred. That new dirt bike cost decent coin.

Also- doesn’t anyone else get creep out by how Aubrey is a mirror image of her grandmother?
Rebel Yell Said,
O.K. all this talk about the “Teen” moms is fascinating….but you really need to re-cap the RHof O.C. Tamra’s little bunny face break-down was fascinating. Loved her boyfriend (Eddy?) shutting her up.
West of Virginity Said,
Teen Mom 2 season recap show should be moderated by a geneticist instead of Dr. Drew!!!!!!!!
Rebecca Said,
What the hell kind of rehab did Jenelle go to? I loved when she was meeting with the director/counselor and the lady asks, “Are you having any cravings right now? I thought so.” No shit, lady.

And then the doctor who diagnosed her. “So do you think you have the bipolar? OK, here are some meds.” Normally people who have a mental disorder don’t think that they do. I don’t disagree with the diagnosis, but still. Weird.

“So are you having any cravings now?” “No, not at all.” “Great! You are cured, good luck to you!” We all know how that worked out for homegirl.
Barb`s half-eaten hammmburgah Said,
Suzy Q i love u. & Patrick. & all the other IBBB-ers, errrybody, all y`all!

Still getting that whole 90s lezbo vibe from Barbs. We sure Pirate Mike is even a dude? `Mike Hunt`? …Bwahahahaha. Arrrr!

I loved the Malibu souvenirs (but at least it does show that at least occasionally the little bitch does think about her moms & the kid, which is a really sweet gesture, even if totally misguided). I was so waiting on a tshirt for Jace… “My mom went to rehab & all I got was this lousy tshirt!“ erm. “haircut!“ Awww! (Someone was using the Flowbee vacuum haircutting system!)

Kail ~ That was such a stank-ass skank thing to do to Jordan, who despite being kinda dippy & dull (not too dippy for a cowardly lion, mind you!) was nothing but kind to Kail & Isaac. Did anyone not see Jo`s calculated outcome? Booomm you got played, biotch! That`s what time it is, don`t go away mad… [just go away!]

Chelsea & her mom are so goshdern dumb.as.fuck. I just.can`t! Aaack! watching her segment made my ulcer flair **this much** & my brain aneurysm explode & unravel **this much**. I was screaming at the telly when Adumb & Dee Snyder rode off on Adumb`s crotch rocket… “NOoooo! No helmets? But what about your brains?… Oh yeah, nevermind. Bye, guys! Drive faster, pussycats!“
Barb`s half-eaten hammmburgah Said,
Oh yeah, re: Leah & the disposition of mar-i-tal prop-er-ty (so glad the google law-year could help w/ that, too, y`all!)… Cracked me up at “Do ya want the wash-er *or* the dry-er?“ uhhhh. Yeah. No, it`s ok, they don`t usually go together, in a set or anything, `washer AND dryer`. (kinda like peanut butter AND jelly.. Starsky AND Hutch… Love AND marriage!… Yeah nevermind, I know I lost you already…)… Core-eh, which young`un ya want, Goggles or Not.Goggles?

When I grow up I wanna be a gin-eh-tih-cyst, y`all! Well. `cept for the schoolin` & learnin` parts… Hey, I`m gone be a pageant dir-ect-orr, y`all, or a fancy make-up ar-tist, or I guess maybe a reaally hot teen mom di-vor-cee, y`all! (erm, the latter part, anyways).

I`m gonna burn in hell, y`all! Trash talkin these trashbags who don`t know no better & all, coming to battle completely unarmed. At least it`s supposed to be really warm… See y`all there. Group hug!
Money Train Said,
Core-eh, which young`un ya want, Goggles or Not.Goggles?

Best line ever!!
Square Hair Said,
and who rides a crotch rocket in flip flops? It made me cringe thinking what if her toes got caught…
Barb`s half-eaten hammmburgah Said,
Oh, and omg, “easy, breezy, beautiful… Jenelle“. Hilarious! I was thinking hoody-wearing little bitch, but ok. Totally!
Barb`s half-eaten hammmburgah Said,
And did anyone else try to zoom in & hope like hell it showed Barb`s user name? I for real woulda tried to Skype her, too!

Can you even imagine if you could, slowly building a good rapport & close ties, & she ends up doling out advice to you on the regular? Like your own personal Dear Abby? In my brain, every answer ends up something like, “No, ya little bitch, cuz that`s not what ya need ta be doing, ya see?“ and swear to god I will fabricate mad, crazy relationships, sheerly in anticipation of hearing Barb say “boyyfrieeeend“. Omfg, I could go to hell very happy! (yes, I need help, clearly)…
Suzie Q Said,
Barb`s half-eaten hammmburgah, I love you too. You said don’t go away mad just go away. Greatest line ever. I have to start pushing peoples buttons and just saying that afterwards. Girl we all need help. HAHA
funkster166 Said,
I can’t get past Chelsea and her moms teeth. All they do is smile at each other with those big chompers. Lets hope that skips a generation and little Aubry only inherits Adams beady eyes.

Chelsea makes me cringe with how much of a doormat she is. She is willing to take any little crumb from Adam,,because she looves him and wants a family. Listen here bitch..aint happening. I am a prime example. Two kids two different dads and no happy ending..why? Because they were both assholes that didn’t deserve me…move on already..

Kail- you got the grudge f((k play. I did that to an EX myself. Slam! It was the best feeling Ff him over and walking away..see ya!

I don’t understand the reasoning about sharing a child,,means you have a change of sleeping with the BD. I think I just puked in my mouth…
Tiffany Said,
@Kasey,
here they put your divorce, bancruptcy, OWI/DWI, etc in the newspaper and online. It’s all public here.
Brooke Said,
I understand you not wanting to recap Chelsea, but really, no mention of her mom trying to pick up guys at a car show?? Or Aubree sitting in the front seat face forward? Or Adam and Chelsea tooling around on his bike sans helmets? Trashbags.
Kail is a moron Said,
@ Barb`s half-eaten hammmburgah,
“hoody-wearing little bitch” and “Core-eh, which young`un ya want, Goggles or Not.Goggles?”…..LOVES IT!!!!!
The Hoodie Said,
Kailyn got played by Jo, bigtime! I will give her that she is a hard worker, but when it comes dealing with people and relationships, she’s bricks…Jordan my have been goofy, but he treated her right…

Chelsea needs professional help. She wants her “family” together so bad that she’s willing to keep going back to Adumb who treats her like garbage, all because her own family wasn’t together and she’s desperate for her daughter to have one even if it means that she gets treated like crap.

I’m so sick of watching Leah cry…

And boo, hoo Janelle…she can’t smoke weed everyday…
MeMe6969 Said,
Patrick, I got some time faw yaw on The Skype. Mike took the baby out on the barge and my little b*tch of a daaughtah is smokin’ the weeeed on the front yawd with haw boooyyyfriiend. Meet me in 10 or yaw done! Meme needs haw scissor action!

P.S. I’m wearin the yellow tank taawp faw yaw!
microMiami Said,
Клавиатура плавится.. так жарко.. (
Leah's Fat Sister Said,
Did anyone else notice that Kail looks like she’s stacked on the weight like nobody’s business?
Robbie'sTwins Said,
I just need to say that I need brain bleach to get the image of Jo and Kail in the shower out of my head. Also, I was p*ssed the eff off when Chelsea let Adumb drive Aubree around in the front seat of his truck. You are so desperate to have him pay attention to you that you risk your child’s life? You have a perfectly good Jeep in your driveway. Drive Aubree to Adumb’s parent’s house in that, and “talk” to him there. Kinda shows how much he wants to be a family man if that is his choice of vehicle. C’mon Bricks, take a hint! Even Corey has an extended cab!
hollywood Said,
I think everyone’s musings have been pretty much right on! Kail lost a lot of my respect reacting the way she did towards Jordan, getting defensive and attempting to justify what she’d done. I felt for her up until now but kudos to Jordan, whose reaction gained my respect. I’m glad he finally showed his backbone! Any questions I may have had about why Chelsea acts the way she does were answered during this episode. Holy Bad Parenting, Batman! Why would Chelsea’s mom suggest taking Chelsea to a place where she knew the ex would be after all the progress Chelsea had made? You can’t go one night without an all-out-hope-he-likes-my-dream-catcher-hair-extension-enough-to-knock-boots-kinda-night for the sake of your daughter’s sanity? One night? Yikes! None of these girls have any idea how to exist without a man. God I wish they’d give it a try because I think they are good people deep down, I really do. Maybe not Janelle. I wanted to scratch her bloodshot eyes out when she cried about being bored. I don’t have words to adequately express my disgust with her. Last week I was happy for her because she’d made a good decision finally. That’ll learn me. And, yes, we’re all going to hell but hopefully Barb can drive the bus
Ricky Said,
I hate to say it but no doubt bout it Lee had sexual relations with Leah. The way he talked about getting the trailer all gangster. The way he said you need to file for divorce because what you told me he has no intentions of continuing the marriage. Nobody held leah accountable.

kayl did the typical female. Deflecting and blaming jordan who was very articulate. I could not believe the words he was using I was impressed. But just acting like a bitch because she could not take the heat

Cheslea. Don’t judge me mom. that is where the problem lies her parents were enabelers. no disciple no rules every. They wanted to be chealeasas friend rather than a parent.
donna Said,
just heard that leah got jumped by 3 girls.people are really dumb
Wednesdaystreat Said,
Donna beat me to it, but yup! Seems Leah got jumped outside a movie theater with her fiance’.
donna Said,
not only did leah get jumped but they called her ‘that anorexic bitch from teen mom’
kristina Said,
i just want to let you know. 8 times out of 10 i read the word “yall” leah’s voice is in my head. and that is your fault. thank you