Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

1. Baaahhbb's little bitch of a dauhhtah (that's you) Said,

   Well. That sucks. I look forward to the Teen Mom recap every Wednesday. It is the only ray of sunshine in my dreary life. Enjoy your “vaca” but know that you are making many pillow cases wet this week.

2. Vicky Said,

   Ok thats fine but you are going to have to go without a few things this week as well: 1.multiples of women asking you to marry them and proclaiming their undying love for you. 2 multiples of women (probably the same ones that want to marry you) requesting that you recap their show. 3. Well I guess theres only 2. Oh, and one more thing…you have a “real” job…like besides being IBBB? Wierd. Please disclose your occupation,i must know!

3. katie Said,

   my level of pissification just went through the roof. have a craptastic vacation!

4. alwayssunny Said,

   should we start a collection now for bail money when you are inevitably arrested for tresspassing/b&e/and lewd and lascivious acts with pieces of furniture in adrienne maloof’s home?

   i’ve just gotta run to the coinstar machine first…

5. LisaP Said,

   this does suck, but how considerate of you to let us know!!! it will be a hard week (for us). have fun!!!! storm the soup set and show them the talent.

6. Mandy Said,

   This is complete and total bullsh!t! I only watch these dumba$$ shows to read the recap. Now my already horrible week just got worse!

7. KittyKat aka Chelsea's lip herp Said,

   Well, my hell week just got worse!!! Kidding. I forgive you. Enjoy LA. Maybe I will give recapping teen mom a shot this week in your honor. I’ll keep everyone posted.

8. Ashley in NC Said,

   I saw the title of the post and thought you were breaking up with the blog for forever! Now a week off doesn’t seem that bad in comparison. Have a great time!

9. CrackinUp Said,

   What the F??! Kidding. Have fun!

   And, i think you should recap Mob Wives. That show is out of control! I have alot of unanswered questions about Big Ang that Im sure you could help answer!

10. OhGod Said,

    To avoid mass suicide we could make our own recaps in the comment section! That should be interesting.

    Have fun, Patrick!

11. SuzieQ Said,

    Share your pics and recap of your trip. We love your mind so bring us something back good.

12. West of Virginity Said,

    Sideways frownie face.

13. Penelope Said,

    Boo, stay away from Lord Xenu, okay?

    Have fun and hurry back to us. XOXOXOXO

14. Isaac's giant sneakers Said,

    I’m going to stuff myself into Isaac’s giant sneakers and run to LA from Boston to find you because I NEED you to recap the RHOBH reunion! BASTARD!

15. Isaac's giant sneakers Said,

    Also, does anyone else read TMZ 1,325,408 times a day like me? If so, are you also beyond disgusted with all the coverage of donkey semen from Gross Factor?!!? I can’t take it any more.

16. kerry Said,

    you’re playing w/my emotions. i came on here ready to talk about adrienne’s attempt to throw lisa under the bus on the reunion and you’re not even here.

    enjoy yourself, i guess, and hurry back

17. Darling Nikki Said,

    OMG you should go to West Hollywood if you havent and also Little Tokyo is awesome. Have fun over here on the west coast and enjoy our so cal weather and enjoy

18. Yours Forever Said,

    WHY the EFFF will you not recap Mob Wives? Ya scared?

19. 39 & Not Pregnant Said,

    I’m giving you the side eye. With goggles on.

20. KittyKat aka Chelsea's Lip Herp Said,

    Get your recap fix for Teen Mom here. This is a one time deal to fill the hole Patrick has left us!!

21. Corey's Subtitle Writer/Interpreter Said,

    I see no reason not to recap things here even though our venerable host is currently having his thetan levels tested and being told to unbuckle his pants and breathe into this ether-soaked rag by John Travolta. Truth be told, you could just reread any recap done this month and not skip anything. Leah and Cory arguing about whether or not to a different trailer (and whether or not the schools is good)…Chelsea dressing like she shops exclusively at the San Diego Zoo’s gift shop and opining about not having Adam’s spindly stick arms wrapped around her or feeling his 7th grader-level facial hair tickle her cheek…Kail staking her claim to the the money Jo’s making as a Drake impersonator for the deaf and blind…Jenelle’s ongoing audition tape for “Celebrity Rehab”.

    Leah – “Sometimes I feel like we rushed this.” NO SHIT! YOU HAD TWINS AFTER A MONTH! Stay in the trailer, move out of the trailer, live in the new truck and park it in that empty lot they looked at in Meth Valley….who cares? The best shot those kids have of turning out alright is waiting for a heavy rain and putting them both in an empty cardboard box (maybe after they’re through living in it), duct tape it to make it waterproof, and send it downstream like Moses in the reeds.

    Chelsea – Aubree looks like Pebbles Flitnstone with her hair in that vertical ponytail. Kinda fitting since Chelsea bears a striking resemblance to Fred. She’s gone from tie-dying her hair to tie-dying shirts. You KNOW she spent a good half hour scouring the shelves of “Hobby Lobby” for leopard print-colored dye. At the very end of the March of Dimes Walk footage, the sign behind her head said “Orange City”. Apparently SD’s “Truth in Labeling” laws are getting strict. Even her f***ing Jeep is orange. Points for consistency.

    Jenelle – I’m not normally OK with a woman getting hit, but someone needs to get a running start and punch Jenelle. Maybe that chick she was living with, if she can drop her drumsticks long enough to make a tight fist. As screwed up as Jenelle is, I mean…Barb RAISED her. Now she’s raising Jace? Isn’t he just gonna winde up being Jenelle with a penis? Maybe that’s redundant. When she tries to hug Jace before court you know he’s thinking “STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!” But hey…at least she put on her best dirty “PINK” t-shirt for court. Just looking at her and Kieffer makes me itch. I need anti-bacterial soap and a barbecue brush like it says in those incessant promos for that show about pants.

    Kail – Boyfriend meeting Baby-Daddy. Why couldn’t they have went and played pool like on every “Real World” season where the chick cheats on her boyfriend back home with a roommate, then they have that awkward moment shooting some stick when said boyfriend comes for a visit?

22. Odette Said,

    Do you need a host in LA?! Just say the word!!!

    Pretty much all you missed from the Beav Hills reunion was everyone ganging up on Lisa… bitc*es.

    The Hotlanta housewives (even though you apparently are done with this show???) flew to South Africa to act like trash bags on the other side of the world. Oh and Marlo is one overdressed psycho.

    I’ll be looking out for you!

23. hey-OH Said,

    kittykat….that recap was SPOT ON. thank you for that!

    Patrick, you should be proud!

24. Jennifer Said,

    Noooo, Janelle just pulls up on the grass, Leah has the orange sweater on. I miss you!

25. QueenofCorona Said,

    Oh man. I feel I MUST get out a few things from last nights show or I’ll burst.

    Toll Booth Willie=Barb. Now we know what Adam Sandlers been up to inbetween those craptastic movies of his.

    Sweet polo there, Keefer. My fiance asked why they are always picking him up at random places, yet never an actual house. Grassy knoll troll, baby. Schooled him.

    Who pooped, Chelsea? I did. My bowels can’t even stand your Adam whining anymore. I shat myself in retaliation.

    Leah, Cory doesn’t communicate well because he cannot communicate well. Hence the necessary subtitles. He sure can drop the F-bomb just fine.

    And finally, I feel for Baby Huey. Been there. It blows. I too have a Jo in my life except my Jo is a Filipino midget ex stripper with the same pissy attitude. Much to my chagrin, Jo didn’t bring his ganstarr attitude but he and Kail may has well just made out right in front of Jordan.

26. Brenda Walsh Said,

    @Jennifer-I totally noticed that Janelle just pulled her car right up onto the grass. Hilarious! Also, I loved the outfit she wore to court-white baggy sweatpants with a Victorias Secret Pink tee-very classy and appropriate!

    How come we get (much needed!) subtitles for Corey but not for Jordan? Nine times out of ten I have no clue what he is saying. And he made things very awkward in the scene with Jo-why didn’t he say SOMETHING, ANYTHING?! Jo was trying to be nice.

27. Jenny Said,

    Kitty Kat, great job on the recap! I also felt a little bad for Jordan. Kail & Jo were totally flirting in front of him.

28. Isaac's giant sneakers Said,

    How do I see Kitty Kat’s recap?! Do I need special goggles?

29. Shannon Said,

    Isn’t it rude to use Patrick’s blog to promote your own while he’s gone? Just sayin’

30. Missing Patrick Said,

    The Kail/Jo/Jordan meeting was SO awkward! I love how Jordan have him a half hug. Jo has never been that nice… and were Jo and Isaac wearing matching flannel shirts?! Wow, Kail wasn’t showing too much jealous about Jo’s new groupie/girlfriend.

    Poor Jenelle…no smoking weeeeeeed for a whole year! Boo hoo, your life is over. Boo hoo for me, there was not enough Barb in this episode.

    Decent recap, but no mention of Randylicious buying Bricks a new car?!

31. LisaP Said,

    thanks kitty kat!!! u made the week a little easier! i look forward to friday.

32. Me Said,

    @Isaac’s giant sneakers – you need to click on Kitty Katt’s name 7 comments above your’s

33. wOOT Said,

    @Shannon She isn’t promoting her blog at all. If you click onthe link, this is her first blog post. Geez Louise!

34. anggg Said,

    big ang does rule all loveee her

35. Isaac's giant sneakers Said,

    Thanks Me. Super job Kitty Kat!!!!

36. 1981 Said,

    Ahhhhh Patrick you suuuuuck!!! My vote is you have a guest blogger do the recap, like queen of corona or da cabs are here, I always enjoy their comments.

37. KittyKat aka Chelsea's lip herp Said,

    @Shannon- I only recapped this week’s Teen Mom because Patrick is on vacation. It is not something I plan to do on the regular! I might throw a random one from a random show out every now and then (it is kinda fun to do!) but my life is way too hectic to have it be a regular thing. Besides, I am a die hard IBBB fan.

    Thanks for the nice comments, everyone! I enjoyed channelling my inner IBBB to create a craptastic recap. Hopefully he agrees! I will likely do Jersey Shore tomorrow!!

    And, if you haven’t already, please click the link on my name and check out my ONLY Teen Mom recap! IBBB4EVA!

38. West of Virginity Said,

    Chelsea and her buddies get balloon hats & their toddlers get nothing. Nice.

    I can TOTALLY see Jenelle AND Kieffer shacking up in a storage unit with her couches; it crossed my mind that eventually her unit would be auctioned off for non-payment.

    I felt as awkward as Baby Huey when Kail was flirting with Jo right in his face. Yikes, very disconcerting!

    Googles and Google-less deserve better parents, grandparents, and ancestors.

39. 39 & Not Pregnant Said,

    Jenelle is the worst mother ever. Bawling hysterically over not being able to smoke weed but no tears over her mother having to raise her adorable son. She should not be on a show with the word “mom” in it.

40. CrackinUp Said,

    I agree and have always wondered how she is on a show that has “mom” in the title. She is horrible…she litterally doesnt give 2 s*its about Jace. And, if she does, she sure as hell doesnt show it!
    God, it think Ambuuuuhh put forth more effort with Leah than Jenelle has with Jace (and that is NOT saying much at ALL!!)

41. Anne Said,

    I’m willing to stand alone on this, but I was actually happy for Chelsea this crapisode. I thought it was nice to see her smiling for once and Aubree seemed happier, too.

    Classic Midwest to have a walk-a-thon in a mall.

    Kitty Cat! Nice work!

42. Wednesdaystreat Said,

    My week is SO incomplete!!! I have to say a few words anyway….

    Maybe I was as spaced out as Jenelle, but what exactly happened that Keiffah got nothing and she got probation? She’s just a mess. I agree-AWESOME choice of clothing for court! Why didn’t Barb step in like she did when she was taking lint off her the first time when she didn’t even actually go??

    Chelsea was happier–which was a new twist, but the way she acts just makes me hurl. “I GOT DONATIONS!!! THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!! Let’s all high five to pathetic futures in the DaKOOOOOOOTAS with our babies!!! And BTW, Randylicious is getting stupider by the day–nice ride you GAVE your daughter who can’t even get her GED!!! NO WONDER she’s so pathetic!!! He can’t buy you a future, hon—or CAN HE???? That jeep looked like a giant tomato to me.

    Cory and Leah–I’m bored.

    Kail–Was it just me, or was that image of Jordan playing with Isaac’s toy WAY too normal?? I REALLY want to like this guy, but he’s just SO WEIRD!!!! And I agree–she and Jo should have just gone at it right there in front of him. Looks like they do next week!

43. Wednesdaystreat Said,

    Where is my post????

44. Wednesdaystreat Said,

    UGH!! Well, I was saying that my week is totally incomplete, but I have to say a few words….

    Jenelle: I was probably as spaced out as she was, but why did Keiffah get nothing and she got probation? And I agree. AWESOME clothing choice for court!! Why didn’t Barb step and like she did last time and take the lint off when she didn’t even end up going???

    Chelsea: She was happier, which was a twist, but the way she acts make me want to hurl!! “THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!! I GOT DONATIONS!!!! Let’s high five to pathetic futures in the DAKOOOOOOOTAS with our babies! And Randylicious is getting stupider by the day–That’s it! Get her a new jeep when she can’t even finish her GED!!! He can’t buy you a future, Hon. OR CAN HE???? It looked like a giant tomato anyway.

    Kail: How scary was it that it looked SO NORMAL for Jordan to play with Isaac’s toy whilst Jo and Kail were about to go at it on the floor in front of him??? I REALLY want to like this guy, but he’s SO WEIRD!!!!! Looks like Jo and Kail get busy next week anyway.

    Leah and Cory–I’m bored.

45. Wednesdaystreat Said,

    Clearly. Patrick has any re-cap-type posts blocked. I wasn’t recapping, I was just stating my opinion on each MOM. Oh well. See ya next week.

46. IBBB Said,

    Good day all,

    I will be back on the mainland recapping crap before ye know it!

    Thanks for all the well wishes, death threats, and concerned emails.

    Also, please note I do not block comments, delete comments, edit comments, blah comments, blah blah comments, etc. Take a peek around this crapbag site. Are you looking? Yeah, it’s held together by some gum, sugar water, and a dream. If your comment isn’t appearing it’s probably caught in the spam filter….I try to push things through if they get stuck. I didn’t even know I had a spam filter until about a year ago. In closing and to sum up, this site is about to catch on fire and/or self destruct if a light breeze blows through.

    See y’all soon, y’all.

    The Original Geneticst,
    IBBB

47. michelle Said,

    i look forward to your TM2 recap – bummer there won’t be one this week. And please reconsider blogging about the MOB WIVES – they really are a lovely train wreck!

48. Jordan Said,

    Kieffer’s lawyer is a monster. That is all.

49. Janelle's eyebrows Said,

    I was so bummed that Patrick isn’t doing a recap this week, but thanks to Kitty Kat I was able to keep from soaking my pillowcase. Thanks, Kitty Kat!

    And I just want to say, Randilicious really needs to quit paying Chelsea’s way or she’s never going to amount to anything. I wouldn’t care about getting my Good Enough Diploma either, if my daddy paid for everything my little heart desired!

    “Since I’ve been working, I’ve been able to save money and get a new car with help from my dad” or something like that was said…..Puh-leeese! No money earned from Orange All Year went towards that ugly thing at all and you know it!

50. SuzieQ Said,

    Janelle’e eybrows,
    Well said about Randilicious because I think one of us ladies should step up and go look to wife up with Randilicous. If he takes care of his kid that way his wife has to be treated like gold. Any takers??? It could land you on the next TM2 season.

    Kitty Kat, shannon is poo and smelly can you kick some litter back on top of her? Great Recap everyone that comes here on the reg knows that is what Patrick loves us for.

51. My UTI Smells Like Pickle Juice Said,

    KittyKat aka Chelsea’s lip herp – Did you get a chance to recap the Jersey Shore?

52. KittyKat aka Chelsea's lip herp Said,

    @PickleJuice, no, I didn’t. I was busy getting a paper and presentation done Thursday night and had a sick kiddo! I might watch it online today and put in my two cents. I will let you know if I do!!

    Patrick,
    I hope you don’t mind that I recapped in your absence. I will gladly be your substitute recapper anytime you need!

53. Brooke Said,

    SuzieQ – I’d like to fill out an application to be Mrs. Randilicious; I’m sick of working. Where is the PDF form?