Jan
18

Teen Mom 2: When Bad Hair Happens to Chinless Teens

Posted by IBBB

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Hey y’all it’s time for another episode of “The Night They Realized It’s Not Just For Peeing Anymore.” In this episode all the girls come to the decision that it’s never too late for adoption and begin to fill out paperwork to get the ball rolling on becoming free-teens again. I hope I didn’t spoil anything. I’m kidding. Nothing happened. Speaking of nothing happening, join me on my Facebook page and let me know I’m a bad person for making fun of teenage mothers. It means more to me when I can see the white trash sending the nasty-gram. Ole!

Jenelle – Well I’m just sittin’ heeeeah havin’ a la-di-da time and BAM all of a sudden Barb just drops a bomb that she’s 57 years old. Shocking. She doesn’t look a day over 56. You totally know that skin got wrinkled from her youthful days of her frolicking on Revere Beach, sipping strawberry-kiwi wine coolers out of a crazy straw, and laying out with a can of Crisco and holding one of those aluminum-mirror things that you put under your face to intensify the tan. She’s sure to end her day at the beach with a Scallop plate from Kelly’s. You’re welcome, my dear readers in Boston northshore communities. However this can’t all just be Barb dream sequences because Jenelle is pitching a b*tch-fit in the kitchen because she hasn’t smoked pot in almost 24 hours and, well, she’s losing her mind. She makes it seem like it’s such a tough thing to do. Wow. She made it 23 hours. Someone give her a sobriety chip. And salsa. Because, well, that’s the way I assume it works. You see, I’ve never been to a rehab facility because they frown on you continuing your drinking lifestyle. Bad choices is the new black. The best part of the entire crapisode was when Jenelle was freaking out and Barb just yells out, “Yaw strung out on weeeeeed, Jenelle!” followed by heart-felt words such as, “What? You need drug rehab now?” Way to may her feel “wrong” for possibly needing rehab. Can you even go to rehab for pot? So pathetic. She’s like that chick from Dr. Drew Celebrity Rehab who was on because she was addicted to “love.” Not sex. Love. Oddly enough, I’m addicted to “like.” P.S., don’t they give the elderly pot for cataracts? Toughen up, trash can.

After thinking about it during a 45 second conversation with a girl I can only assume is considered a “tough cookie” in her Hello Kitty club, Jenelle is going to move in with Tori and Tylor. These, my friends, are not the characters from 90210 and Saved By the Bell. These are actual people. Although, the leather jacket she’s sporting is very reminiscent of the actual Tori from Saved By The Bell. I think it’s a great idea that Jenelle move in with these two characters as I’m sure there’s some form of a gang bang in its future. As a sidenote, how come in 2 seasons we’ve never seen Jenelle smile? I mean, I only see her teeth when she’s hissing in Barbara’s face. Regardless, when it’s time to tell Barb that she’s moving out it actually goes better than expected. Barb thinks it’s a great idea that Jenelle get the Christ out of the bungalow. I’m sure she’s just excited that Mike is going to be able to finally play “hide the pirate” in Barb’s treasure trove. As God as my witness I have no idea what that means, but sometimes it’s easier to set the table for a smut joke and just see who shows up to eat. Ironically that’s the same way that Barb landed Mike, that snaggle-toothed wonder. Either way, Barb hopes that Jenelle gets her life in order and will at least come to visit Jace one day a week for more than an hour. I’m sure if you listen carefully you can hear all of The America yell out a collective “no!” in unison.

When it’s finally time to get to the moving portion of the episode, good old snaggle tooth Mike is giving Jenelle a helping hook. See what I did there? When they fit one of Jenelle’s gross-bed-bug-infested pieces of furniture into the back of a rusted out pick-up truck Barb just blurts out, “Supppaaah!” No joke, at first I was like what the hell did she say, but then I quickly understood and was smiling from ear to lopsided ear. Whilst in the process of moving Tori finds a “love letter” from Queen LaQueefer in which he calls Jenelle a “princess.” Accurate. Just like Ursula was a princess. He says things like “we don’t need to prove our love to anyone” which makes me think they are a modern day Romeo and Juliet and hope that one of the two will swallow the potion to a little trip to “Dirt Nap City.”

After Jenelle moves all her actual literal junk into the new crack den she quickly receives a message from Kieffah on Facebook where he says he misses her, loves her, and he ends the email with “117.” I’m not sure what “117″ means, but I’ll venture a guess that it’s “beeper code” for “I’ll meet you on the grassy knoll. Bring soap.” Jenelle decides to write him back because, most likely, she was sexually molested by one of Barb’s boyfriends growing up. I don’t think I’m that far off and, well, I’m pretty sure if you think about it, you’ll agree too. Jenelle is also writing in some type of code whilst emailing Special K back. She writes things like “yu” instead of “you” and “ohk” instead of “ok.” She might be trying to be cool, but I think it’s more accurate to assume that she really is that dumb. In the end, Queefy comes over to the new house to sit on the stairs until Jenelle basically forces and apology from him. It must be his rotten teeth and crusty green hoodie that she just can’t resist. They both agree that they’re current status is “just talking” and “working things out” but they say “I love you” and kiss each other whilst dirt and grime clings to them from the stairs…and society. Somewhere a few streets over, Barb is putting Jace to bed and shaving a smiley face in her lady-bits for Mike. In this episode, everyone wins.

Leah – “Hey y’all! I’m in a new house that’s as long and narrow as my momma’s face!” I’m just kidding it’s round and oversized. I’m not suggesting that it’s similar to anyone else’s head, but I’m just merely implying that similar to a physic coming over to a house party where everyone gets a reading, well, the geneticist should consider making house calls to the most western parts of West Virginia. Wow that was a long sentence. Long and hard just like my…shut yo mouth! Anyway, Leah is relieved that everything is perfectly normal with Alibaba and is celebrating by decorating her home like any of the people in any of the episodes of Hoarders. Luckily, even when times are tough, financially, there’s still plenty of empty Mountain Dew bottles scattered all around the house. Another 10 bottles and Leah will have enough money for 2 more strands of clip-on extensions. It’s like my 401K plan, y’all!

Meanwhile, Corey comes home in the brightest t-shirt (probably easier to identify the chain-gang cleaning up the side of the interstate) and seems a little bummed out. It was hard to tell he was bummed out because he’s usually such a mix of piss and vinegar. Leah really seems concerned and we learn that Corey doesn’t love his job. At least I think that’s what he was saying. Even the sub-titles seemed jumbled. What I did understand, however, is that Corey has big dreams of…wait for it…wait for it…slap your baby…wait for it…you guessed it…being a coal miner. I’m not saying that a coal miner isn’t a respectable job. I mean, if it was good enough for the 7 Dwarfs it’s certainly good enough for old beaver teeth in the fluorescent green.

Later, Leah received a typed letter from the gen-et-i-cist (y’all!) saying that basically Alislovakia isn’t out of the woods yet and they’d like to see her again in one year. The main problem, in my opinion, is that someone is going to have to teach Leah and Corey how to work a standard calendar. I mean, if it’s not a tear-away Ziggy calendar they’re likely to miss the follow up appointment. Leah and Corey try to understand what the “cryptic letter” from the geneticist really means. It is quite tricky since the geneticist was “specific” and “clear” and explained everything. Sadly, I knew Leah was immediately lost when she called the letter a “form.” Pass me the form, y’all! They wind up trying to Google more words that were taken from the “form” to see what the deal is. Leah ends up getting puzzled and decides that she’s going to call up the geneticist to have them basically read the “form” to her. Perhaps they should send a pop-up book next time. Or maybe have it be a “Choose Your Own Adventure” where Leah can choose, “Walk out of the trailer and start a new life without these 3 anchors holding your down….turn to page 99.”

In the end, Leah ends up calling the geneticist and they speak to her for 45 minutes and won’t shut the F up, like they’re guilty of something. Now you know I couldn’t care less about how this show is edited. Everyone seems to freak the F out over it, but I couldn’t care less. The final scene could have been shot in 1986. Perfect. However, what was kind of strange was that in the “next scene” Leah meets up with Corey to talk about the phone conversation she just had. They meet outside. She’s wearing a tank top and there are leaves on the tree. Uh, two episodes ago they were opening white trash gifts under the ghetto Christmas tree. Also, her hair is now so god-damn white it’s actually glowing. It’s clearly giving Corey’s work t-shirt a run for its money food stamps. Her scalp is burnt. As is my brain. Maybe I need an MReyyyyyye on my brain? Probably. I’ll Google it.

Kail – Good news! The Cowardly Lion got bangs! Seriously, other than that nothing really happened in Kail’s scenes. All I know is that Jo is pissed about the child support that the court is telling him he owes. He’s so mad that I suggest he focus that anger and make a “rap song” that can be recorded in his “studio” all whilst Janet booty-claps in the background. His rapping, overall, is priceless and we can just assume this one would go something like, “My name is Jo and I’m here to say I don’t like child support in a major way.” How come in the 80’s (and always) whenever “the whites” try to rap it always starts with “My name is _____ and I’m here to say.” I love the whites. We are a dumb species.

Kail ends up chatting with her creeptastic friends to get their opinion on the whole “child support” situation. I think it makes sense she asked people who can barely form full sentences. I’m pretty sure one of the guys suggested she just shove the baby back up her vagiola. Sound advice. After she receives a letter from the people who “do math” and tell you how much money you owe, she calls up Jo so that they can chat. They both agree to meet at the Tic Toc Diner because, well, that’s just the kind of place they live. Apparently Jo needs to shell out $470 a month and thinks it’s very unfair. He needs that money to work on his “music” and you know at least some of that is going to a mustache grooming kit for the Big J! I jest. Me gusta Janet y me gusta la lapiz y yo soy IBBBB. Donde esta el bano, tambien por favor. Yo toca la guitara. I’m kidding, I don’t toca that at all. Where was I? Oh yeah, these two brainiacs are trying to have a middle-school debate on how much money Jo would have to pay if they were together and if they weren’t together. I found myself yelling at the TV, “Shut up and just tap the bottle and twist the cap.” the best part was Kail’s new beautiful hair. It was so pretty. They way it was a bowl-cut in the front and long stripper curls going down the sides really made her non-existent chin pop in the natural light. At one point during the conversation it literally looked like a c0mb-over. I get sad when bad hair happens to chinless teens. It’s an epidemic in some of the Slavic countries. Oh, and is it just me or do you only have images of Janet as an In Living Color “fly-girl” on the regular? Eh, fine. I’ll see a geneticist about that problem, y’all!

Chelsea – Every episode is the same with this pile of bricks. The only change this time is that she’s getting job, or trying to at least. Her strategy is quite impressive. She walks into a gym, doesn’t say hello, and just simply says, “Can you give me an application.” Not even as a question. Just a general statement. Since Chelsea still can’t pass the 4th grade and likes to look like Lil Bill in the winter, she’s getting a job in South Dakota called, “Year Round Brown.” This is misleading as anyone I’ve seen in South Dakota that’s friends with Chelsea is orange all year “round.” Actually they’re round too. I think the name of the place should have been, “Orange You Glad I Didn’t Say Snooki?” It has a nice ring (around the tub) to it.

Chelsea does, in fact, get the job and no one seems to care. Hopefully she’ll finally now have the time to study for GED in between “pressing the ‘on’ button at work.” Oh, and Adam is still a d*ck because he’s shooting sass up at the camera every two seconds while he and Chelsea fight about why Chelsea has an unhealthy obsession with all things leopard-print. Or maybe they were fighting about what movie to watch that night. The point is, I couldn’t care less. The only thing I was intrigued by was Chelsea’s friend who looked Ricki Lake pre-DWTS. Other than that, I’m done. Sorry, I tried. Spoiler Alert: I didn’t.

So, my good people, did ya like this recap? Did ya not? Either way, click on the “Facebook Recommend” button that I’ve thrown in your face every two sentences so that you can share this dumb website with your underachiever friends. If I get 500 Facebook “likes” I’ll recap anything you want, unless it’s on Monday – Sunday…then the deal is off. Also join me on Facebook because that’s where the real magic happens. Tell your mom!

74 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

IBBB Said,
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donna Said,
i barely saw anything after i realized…corey got a new hat!!
donna Said,
also,i loved the cartoon of barb tapping her foot..
QueenofCorona Said,
The theme of tonights show was definitely “Dream Big” with Cory shooting to be a coal miner? Would he be getting his certificate from the same “school” that Shannon Doherty pimps? Leah dreaming of the day when she can finally pronounce “geneticist” without first saying it in her head three times.

And then there’s Chelsea with (still) aspiring to be a cosmetologist if only she could pass high school. She sounded like Veruca Salt while speaking with her boss. “I want a jooooob so I can like, pay rent and stuff, like. But like I also want to be a cosmetologist but like, I need to graduate first. And like, I don’t like, want to work too much though.”

Delusional Bawbwa dreaming of the day that Jenelle finally gets it together…I say she finally gets it together March…
20-never. Poor Jace dreaming of the day his Jenelle and meemaw find their indoor voices.

Kail, I think she just dreams her boyfriend wasn’t Baby Huey.
KittyKat Said,
Thank you for brightening my morning. I giggled when Barb revealed her age. She’s gonna cougar you!!! I’m putting in the offer on the house next door to her as we speak! You and Mike can just trade off. Ol’ Barb-a-licious can handle it!!

Let’s hope Chelsea can handle the job at the tanning salon with the awful name. (Yours is much better) I know Ammbuuuuhhh had a similar job…and also couldn’t get a GED…bricks.

Can someone please send all of these girls a stylist? Like the one from What Not To Wear? He did Kate Gosselin’s extensions and she looks…ok, nevermind. But still. They need hair interventions. And Janelle just needs her hair washed.

Kudos to Leah and Corey for keeping up the WV stereotypes, ya’ll!!! Glad Corey celebrated his new job with a new hat. Though I’ll miss the string…it’s a loss.
kas Said,
Patrick, if you really want to see Janelle’s smile, I recommend her Mugshot collection (which is growing by the day).
donna Said,
no wonder you hate doing chelseas part.its always…adam left me,boo hoo,he wants me back,we are together,hes treating me like shit.get a clue,bricks.how much is he around when youre not filming?
lav Said,
my favorite is how all of the friends that come over to “talk” aka ask scripted questions are always dressed up and trying to look cute. kailyn’s friends don’t count because a – they’re guys and don’t care and b – were really really dumb. but you know chelsea’s friend spent hours getting ready to be on camera and that jenelle’s friend pulled out her fancy leather jacket just for filming. can’t wait for next week when jenelle and the trash bags get into a fight!! why can’t jenelle just get along with a roommate? now she’s in some war with a different one? how sad is it when barb is her best roommate!? i’d live with barb. that would be AWESOME.
donna Said,
id live with barb too!!and leah needs hooked on phonics..geneticist.say it,its easy.jo should have been paying support all along.chelsea is an idiot.that should be her recap every week.jenelle is just a hot mess.
anastasia Said,
The Tori episodes of Saved By The Bell are the WORST!
CrackinUp Said,
I love how Chelsea wanted Adam to pretty much throw her a party b/c she got some “big shot” job at a place called “year round brown”. dream real big there. obviously Adam is a d*ck- but of course he doesnt care. you’re working at a crappy tanning salon and you’re daddy pays for everything anyways! does he look like the type to get excited about free tanning? no! moron.

PS. if i see Special K in that green A&E hoodie one more time im going to projectile vomitt.
StephyGirl Said,
I only watch the show for these re-caps.

I thought there would surely be a comment about how Kail kept repeating herself while talking to Jo about child support. And does he and his brother have the same dad? His brother looks ub er black compared to him.

Also, I almost spit out my coffee when he made the comment about Janet booty-clapping.
Brenda Walsh Said,
From the amount of eye rolling I do during these episodes it’s a wonder my eyes don’t get stuck!

Chelsea-Please, for the love of God, get a clue and leave Adumb for good. He has made it perfectly clear that he neither cares for you nor your daughter. This is embarrassing and pathetic and I am SICK of watching it. Also, Janelle has a HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. If SHE can get that, you can surely get your GED. So get it. At least last season you pretended to study.

Leah-Please stop living in denial. Anyone with eyes can see that Goggles/Alibaba (great names, IBBB) has issues. It’s sad, yes, but you owe it to your kid to find out what those issues are and try to fix them. That’s your JOB as a mom. So stop trying to pretend everything is great and get some legit medical care.

Kail-Ok. You made adult choices-to get pregnant, to keep the baby, to move out of Jo’s rent-free mansion. Choices. No one forced you to do these things. So stop whining, stop being passive-aggressive, and start acting like an adult. I’m sick of your woe-is-me whining. Is your life perfect? No. But neither is anyone else’s (well unless you are Suri Cruise).

Janelle-Just stop. There are CAMERAS filming you. So stop getting “strung out” on weed and at least pretend to care about your son.
feather Said,
now i know we all get the twins’ names confused, but i swear there’s a scene with corey when even he calls one of the girls the wrong name!? i wanna say it was the goggles one? i was half asleep & its hard to understand his mumbo jumbo anyways
Bitch Jungle Said,
i am still waiting for Leah to start cheating on Corey. Honestly, even though they are WV hicks, he is a good person. He is willing to get a fucking job as a coal miner to get better insurance for his girls! PEOPLE DIE COAL MINING!!!!!!!! WTF.
i just wanted to jump through the screen, choke Chelsea and say “He will NEVER love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
donna Said,
im no stylist but why does all their hair look like it hasnt been washed or brushed since the carter administration?
alwayssunny Said,
@anastasia

agree! she was no stacy kerosi that’s for sure.
Square Hair Said,
KittyKat – “Though I’ll miss the string…It’s a loss” baahaha!!

Pretty sure when it showed Chelsea driving to get her applications, it showed a red Bug that wasn’t a convertible…then a little while later it was a convertible.

I also loved it when she rolled out the leopard rug. It like went in slow motion kind of!!
mamacourt Said,
I think a little pee came out when you described Janet in the background booty-clappin’. Thank you for that little gem, Patrick.
alexiscp Said,
My favorite part was the Twins eating cheese puffs (y’all) right off the floor!
dacabsarehere Said,
Good suggestion Kas. She’s definitely been sporting the smile in her latest spread of mugshots. Real proud and all.

Though, I may not be finding the time to watch this crapshow anymore, I am glad I still have the time to read your amazing blog so I can get awesome comparisons to things like Little Bill. You’re so cleverrrrr.
SimplySarah Said,
I liked Leah’s random comment to the twins: “I’m going to call the geneticist now. I like your outfit.”
Kortney Said,
“why can’t jenelle just get along with a roommate?”

Could you get along with Jenelle if you had to live with her? I can see why her friends always turn on her. I think she is a moody, conceited, entitled addict who thinks the world revolves around her crusty ass. I would let her move in with me JUST so I could start a fight and beat her ass. I don’t think Jenelle has any true friends. And I busted out laughing when Barb strung out “weeeeeed” when talking to Jenelle. I love that woman!!

Also loved how Queefer was sporting his nasty, dirty, moldy green hoodie. I had wondered where it went…..
Kail's Bangs Said,
I know Kail’s new ‘do was completely gross but at least it looked semi-clean and wasn’t in a greasy poof.
dds Said,
…and kail says ‘if we go to the store & buy everything isaac needs & you pay half and i pay half, you aren’t really paying half because you work full time”.

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE EFF THAT MAKES SENSE!!!
Joyce Said,
My favorite part is that we got to hear Leah pronounce “congenital” wrong. Her poor grammar is the gift that keeps on giving.
Anonymous Said,
I knew this was going to be a good recap, just from the title alone ahahahaha!

I loved when Barb shouted “Supahhhh” outside when they were packing up the truck–I’ve been saying it all day long.
Keiffer only came back around bc he found out Jenelle has her own place, she’s so dumb.

Why can’t Leah just call the geneticist the “genetic counselor” like the lady refers to herself as.

Its like deja-vu watching this season. You can tell the MTV money is slowly rolling in. They are all getting new places Kail, Jenelle, Chelsea, and soon to be Leah….just like Amber, Maci, Catelynn, and Farrah did last season. … I’m thinking their run of Teen Mom is soon coming to an end, i mean they are not so much struggling teen moms anymore $$$
Anonymous Said,
I saw the picture of Kail’s hair and thought it was rather cute…now I feel a bit embarassed and am questioning my judgement.
Legend Said,
Facccckkkk I’m one paragraph in and now I want a Kelly’s Roast Beef. DAMNNN YOUUUUUU PATRICCCKKK!
Kortney Said,
I also thought Kail’s hair was cute. It was much better than the side ponytail and Snooki poof. I like the bangs and the wavy curls. At least her bangs stayed out of her eyes unlike Chelsea’s. That girls needs some hair clips or something. She is always pushing that crap out of her eyes only to have it come right back. I just want to pull her hair back in a ponytail everytime I see it.
Strung out on leopard print Said,
Does Chelsea’s sister also have an apt that’s paid for by Randylicious? Cuz if she doesnt then we obviously know who the favorite child is! I wonder if he’s going to be called Grandpa Randilicious by his granddaughters…
JonC Said,
I think next week’s episode is going to be a gem, judging by the preview. You’ve got Jenelle’s roommate already tired of her dumb ass and it turns into a white trash brawl. And then there’s Leah making it very clear to Corey that she is gettin’ herself a new trailer whether he likes it or not. Do actual houses not exist in W. Virginia?
Yawny Said,
The best line of the show was Leah, “aheye’m so confused!” She said this about 5 times.

And the look on Barbara’s face when Jenelle claimed to be strung out on weed(!) was priceless!

Also, I loved the part where Joe feels like he shouldn’t have to pay that much in child support, cuz he needs it to support his “music!”

This crapisode had me laughing non-stop. I def rate it 2 Butch’s Rat-tails, 2 dirty green sweatshirts and 1 swoopy bangs
donna Said,
yes,where is the rating system?
Kate Said,
Jailnelle and LaQueefah as Romeo & Juliet? Patrick, you are far more generous than me because every week that I see these 2 co-dependent law-breaking trash bag lovebirds, I say to myself they are just one grand theft auto away from being the winners of MTV’s Search for the Next Bonnie & Clyde (I believe April & Butch are the reigning champs).

I braced myself for an earthquake when Jo announced that paying child support would put a dent in his blossoming music career because I knew The America, with you as our fearless leader, was howling in laughter right along with me at that very moment. IBBB is such a bonding experience. *wipes away a tear*
Kyle's horse hair Said,
” all whilst Janet booty-claps in the background”

Best thing I have ever read in my entire life.
Natalie Said,
@StephyGirl: Janet was a teen mom (I think), so its quite possible they do not have the same Dad.

Leah: I kept looking at Corey wondering why he suddenly seemed more attractive to me than usual. Then it hit me like a brick. The new hat!!! SO EXCITED for him! That was the biggest thing that happened in this episode. They both missed their sessions with the speech therapist while attending school however.

Kail: When she met Jo at Tik Toc and barely greeted him when he was trying to be civil, I wanted to slap the gum right out of her mouth. And through the entire conversation she just kept CHOMPING and CHOMPING. It was awful. I felt bad for Jo. He should have to pay child support, but her reaction to everything is to automatically go on the defensive and turn into a major bitch. Shes so gross!

What was up with the key grip and mic operator playing her “friends” giving advice? Why are most of her “friends” random dudes?

Jenelle: Shes a joke. Barb asked her to start giving Jace dinner, a bath, and put him to bed. What does it take her an hour to do once she hears that? Suddenly finds a friend who just randomly blurts out “What to come live with me and Tyler?” and she jumps on it. That poor baby. If she truly loved him like she claims she would stay w/ Barb and do whatever is asked of her in order to regain custody of him. And really, Jenelle? You can’t go ONE DAY without the weeeeeeddd??? I’m telling Dr. Drew and you will be on the next season of Celebrity Rehab. (Amber will be there too, for her pill habit and anger management issues. Chelsea for her tanning addiction, and Farrah for her plastic surgery addiction).

She looks just like her mother! Time will not be kind to this girl!

Chelsea: I wondered the same thing about Randilicious paying for housing for all his teen mom daughters. He should just buy a compound for them all to live in together. They can have their own little leopard print bad hair nursery school.
Anyone else notice when she was interviewing for her job and the lady asked her when she planned on “leaving” to go to cosmo school, and she replied “Well, I’m still trying to finish high school, I’m getting my GED so, that will take a looonnggg time”. She will never get her GED!

She looks just like her mother too! And she gets the baby talk voice from her as well. Randy should tell Chelsea thats why he divorced the mother. Maybe she will stop and Adam won’t get chills down his spine every time she speaks.

Thank you, Patrick! See you all Friday morning for the Jersey Shore recap!!!
JonC Said,
Janet’s like a new breed of ugly.
Kiera Said,
Can you picture Barb in her early 20’s? HOT!!!
Justlikehoneyboobooboo Said,
Janet booty-clapping in the background of Joe’s video is a brilliant idea. I’m sure she still has some good moves left in her from her days as a fly girl. She still has the wardrobe, that’s for sure. The only thing that could make for a better video would be if there was a strip club scene, and on stage was Barb wearing nothing but her blue shirt, “working” the deli slicer.
Erin Said,
Did anyone else notice the twins playing with Cheese Puffs on the floor?! I couldn’t stop laughing since just last week Leah’s mom told that awesome story about how Leah learned to walk with Cheese Puffs.
JonC Said,
I think it’s about time that MTV consolidates the Teen Moms. Drop Maci, Kail, Leah, Bricks, Farrah, and Tyler/Catelynn. Keep Amber, Jenelle/Barb, and April/Butch and preferably have them all live under the same roof. Television gold – one can dream.
Anyway, does anyone know if they’re working on a Teen Mom 3? I hope to God they don’t feature that inbred redneck chick that was all about riding a horse with her infant. Nails on a chalkboard.
kasey Said,
Was that go go juice I spotted during the twin’s physical therapist visit? I knew Leah was going that route…
Brenda Walsh Said,
I follow Kailyn on Twitter and over the weekend she had Isaac’s 2nd birthday party. Someone gave him two birds as pets. Who the HELL gives a 2 year old pet birds? Birds are nasty, for one thing. And they are a totally random and stupid gift for a toddler. If I were Kail I’d return that asap and get him a goldfish.
donna Said,
brenda,you mean you didnt give your 2 year old 2 pets?whats wrong with you?
Wednesdaystreat Said,
First off, Allibaba and Alisavickia are the best yet! Second of all, let’s just call both of them Loretta Lynn now. Cool that Corey has to be certified to die young, anyway.

Chelsea’s parents straight KILL me! OHHHHHH, that’s GRRRRRRRREAT!!! You’re getting a job for, what you THINK might be minimum wage, and you have a daughter that we can take care of a lot more now, AND you haven’t gotten your GED. For the love of GOD! Set that bar waaaay up there.

Jeanelle is MENTAL! That poor little boy. Wow. Luckily, he has a 57 year old mother though–that’ll work–til she dies!

Kail–I’m bored.
Gary's Huge Belly Said,
Every episode I thank god that odor can’t come thru the screen when Kieffer and Janelle are on screen…apparently soap is at the bottom of their shopping list…

I think I bought my 16yr old daughter that hoodie Keiffer wears about 6 years ago….

I bet it’s never been washed…just like his face and teeth.
39 & Not Pregnant Said,
Great recap as always.

I love how Jenelle banged her dresser drawer into her friend’s door while moving in and just yelled an obscenity and kept going.
My husband who barely pays attention while this show is on even deduced that Keiffer is back because she has a roof over her head for him.

And I thought Leah had a tough time with geneticist. The word congenital never did come out right and Corey didn’t even try to help her say it right. My favorite moment was when Leah told Corey who was having trouble holding a wiggling baby “Who’s the parent here you or her?” Parenting gems from Leah.

I actually think Kail’s hair looks better with bangs. But alas she still has no chin. She annoys me somehow and she’s boring.

Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea. Does Adam have to come out and tell you that he hates the sight of you and Aubree? I’ll do it for you. He hates you. Please move on.
Anne Said,
How can Chelsea’s mom watch Aubree whilst Chelsea works? Doesn’t she work? How many women is Randalicious, DDS supporting?
donna Said,
39,obviously adam banged his way through all the girls in his town so its back to chelsea.the guys in his town better look out because they are next.
KittyKat Said,
Whoever mentioned the twins eating cheese puffs, I noticed that on two occasions this episode! Haha. Parenting skills and tips from Mama “I might have an extra chromosome or two” Dawn.
jenelleE Said,
Patrick, can you install a like button on here for the comments? I’m so stoned that’s all i can manage.
26yearoldmom Said,
Barb in her early 20’s=Jenelle…not so hot unfortunately
Anonymous Said,
Love the like button option!
donna Said,
btw,after the letter talking about skeletal dysplasia i said to myself(cause im all alone watching this)i thought a long tie ago ali had a form of dwarfism.ive watched a lot of the little couple and little people big world so i know all about dwarfism.
Aleeah and Aliannah's trailer floor cheeseballs Said,
Jenelle- I’ve been acquainted with both the wahheeeed and the opiates and I can tell you these outbursts Jenelle is throwing have very little to do with wahheeeed. And yes Barb, Jenelle needs the rehab.

Kail- Boring…. I thought from the early season previews, Kail climbs back on Rivera Mountain and cheats on baby Huey. Let’s fast forward to that part so I can see Janet’s sour puss when she wakes up to the smell of sex and child support in Mc Mansion de Jo.

Chelsea- Forever Brown… or Year Round Brown, whatever the hell it’s called. That’s how I describe my third eye. The one below my back and I certainly wouldn’t want to work there. Seems appropriate for a droopy pork chop who sloths in tiger print all day whining about Adamuhhhhh.

Leah-I’m sure Mountain Dew and cheesy poofs rolled in trailer dirt and formaldehyde from the floor boards will really help expedite both of the girls growth and development processes. I know where of I speak, because I too chased cheesy poofs around a home with a hitch.
gavin Said,
Donna – I LUVed Little People, Big World! Did Matt/Amy end up getting divorced?
Janet's 'stache Said,
I thought Kail’s hair looked cute.
donna Said,
gavin,i believe they are still together,every once in a while tlc has specials about them,i think one is coming up.also,if randylicious is supporting all these women i really wanna marry a dentist.i hear randys married but maybe he needs something on the side..
OhGod Said,
this episode was so lame. i hope the drama will start soon or mtv will lose me. the only funny things were the little baahabra cartoon tapping her foot and the bugs that were flying from kieffah when he sat to talk with jenelle. and of course this recap! i love to read it and then watch the episode and then re-read it -yes, because i’m lame like that!
Isaac's giant sneakers Said,
Did anyone catch that Jo has to pay $89 in back child support?! Really?

I kind of felt bad for Bawb last night. I don’t think she realizes how f’ed jahhhnelllllle actually is. Also what about her court day I thought she had to quit smoking the pot. She is a nightmare of epic proportions.

Chelsea could not be more annoying. Adumb is disgusting to look at and a failure at life. Maybe he has a magical third leg.
baby huey Said,
can’t wait for leah to (supposedly) cheat on corey, for her to file for divorce, for corey’s favorite hat to come back, for kail to hook up with jo.. i need some DRAMA! a dollar makes me hollar honey boo boo! i don’t care if that’s the wrong show, alana would really help this show come alive!
katie Said,
@Brenda Walsh……….its actually FIVE birds. Five. Birds. for a 2 year old. i’m secretly hoping that isaac rips their heads off like on Dumb and Dumber. that would liven up kail’s scenes for sure. kail gets on my last nerve with her inability to stop chomping and whining. she should just get back with jo, at least then we got to see janet on the regular.

year round brown. sounds like a toilet digest. i picture randilicious dropping the deuce whilst reading it.
CrackinUp Said,
i agree- when the F do we see the Kail & Jo hook-up and Leah and Corey’s messy divorce??! come one- get it going MTV. this season is dragggginnnggg….!
Ricky Said,
Kail must really love pizza. I am not joking someone do a video log. Every episode she is devouring a pizza or two. When she moved in to new apartment with her friend she got a pizza. Jordan came over with hot and readys for Issacs birthday. When she met to talk about child support with her MTV planted friends. Piizza always pizza. Nice diet

Chelsea, man I hate this bitch. I love how when she got a phone call to be offered the job at permatan and instead of walking into the other room to talk about the job in private where you could acutally hear what your future boss is saying she sat and played with Aubry and listened to her cry and i am quiet certain she heard 0 words that the tanning lady said. Real professional. who teached this girl manners. Spoiled little daddys girl that will let me abuse her till she dies. A disgrace to women
Sewsavvygirl Said,
Did anyone catch how Leah mispronounced cogential.
Brenda Walsh Said,
Some breakups and cheating better happen soon-I read today that only 4 episodes are left this season!
Chelsea's Wig Said,
That was nice how Leah let the twins play with electrical cords while she was calling the gen-et-icist…sorry Leah, electrical shocks will not cure Ayishas(?) skeletal dysplasia. Is it just me or does that house look super dirty?

Poor Aubree looks just like Adumb, hopefully she didn’t inherit her mothers brains.
Wednesdaystreat Said,
I agree–have always thought Aubree looked just like Adumb. Almost as much as Jo looks like Janet.
Alislovakia Said,
The Mountain Dew bottles around the trailer are necessary for Corey’s dip spit. If he spits in open cups, the babies could get ahold of it. It’s a safety device, y’all.
Chelsea's Wig Said,
Jo’s such an ass, I need that money to support my music career- ummm, you live with your parents in a mansion, you should be able to come up with the money to support the child that you helped make…
Corey's subtitles Said,
yeah, it would be cool to be able “like” other people’s comments on here because some of them are hilarious.

I didn’t notice the mountain dew cans but I did notice how cluttered it was…..just like in the episode when she got the phone call.

anyone notice how Chelsea’s mom does that same annoying baby voice when she talks to Aubree? UGH!! They sound just alike when they do that and it’s annoying!!
Dani Said,
Cannot stand Jo. Support your kid you ass. Other than that, I got nothing.
Sierra Said,
Did anybody see the “sneak peek” for next week’s episode where Tori grabs Jenelle by the hair and is cussing at her to get out of the house? That didn’t take long.
And I agree we need to get to the drama.