Jan
11

Teen Mom 2 Recap: Cheese Puffs, the Walking Splints of West Virginia

Posted by IBBB

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Programming Note: Dear sweet baby Jesus and his teen mom Mary this was one long episode! MTV decided to play a round of shenanigans on me and air Teen Mom last night for two hours. Two hours! Therefore, I’ll do my best to remember everything, but the first person to say, “I can’t believe you forgot to mention…” gets the electric chair. I simply provide an overview. I’m not a court stenographer. Moving on.

Jenelle – What an absolute treat this garbage disposal is. Since Queen LaQueefer has been freed from the slammer by his cousin (aka MTV producers) he decides to text Jenelle because he misses her and wants to see her ASAP. This makes Jenelle smile from ear to ear and they both agree to meet at some place called Planet Fun or some sh*t like that. Basically it’s the kind of place where pedophiles hide in the ball pit. Either way, Jenelle actually tells Barb of her plans, which is a nice change of pace considering she’s decided not to lie to her. At this point Jenelle could have been giving Barb a recipe for pot brownies because all I could feast my eyes on was Barb’s beautiful freckled shoulders that were peeking out of her pink flammable shirt. You can only image Mike’s one snaggle tooth trying to kiss and bite those freckled overtired shoulders on the regular. I just puked in my mouth a little. I’m kidding. A lot.

It was so great to see Special K fresh outta the slammaaah. He certainly looks like he became a woman whilst in there. To no surprise, Kieffah and Jenelle are wearing their costumes to Planet Fun, which consist of crusty blue and green hoodies from hell. They decide that sending Special K to jail was a mistake because he never actually beat her up, he just simply shoved her and delicately threw her into a car. Awww so sweet. I believe in the south those are just called “Love Taps.” These two future bank robbers come to an agreement that they’ll never ever fight again. It’s not their fault, really, since Keiffah was raised in a house where people just yelled all the time and, well, Jenelle was basically brought up by Sam Kinison. If you pause this scene I’m almost certain you can see Barb in the background playing Ski-Ball and Mike collecting her tickets. She’s got some arm on her! Slicing deli meat on the regular is finally paying off in more ways than one. Two ways, in fact.

Later, Jenelle meets with her attorney who may or may not still be in North Carolina Law School (aka Watching Two Seasons of Judge Judy and Writing a Paper on It) she learns that because she and Keiffah were “high/high yaw both high and smokin’ weeeeeed on my front porch” that she could face upwards of 240 days in jail. Hopefully it’s the same jail that Amber (Ammbuuuuh) is in and they can be cell sluts and braid each others hair and pick bed bugs off of each others backs. #Dreams. The wind has been knocked out of Jenelle’s sails when she learns that she can’t smoke pot during this time and how they may have to tell the judge that she smoked about a week ago. Somehow she tells Barb she’s less nervous about this now that she’s met with her lawyer. Comedy ensues when Jenelle is about to leave for court and Barb starts freaking out by wishing Jenelle good luck and then just blurts out, “Jenelle. Don’t liiiiiiie about smokin’ the weeeeeed to the judge. He’ll throw da book at ya!” I swear to God I would legit charge upwards of $17,000 on my credit card in order to have dinner and drinks with Barb. I would just hug her the whole time whilst my head rested on her precious bosom. I would whisper in her ear, “Talk Boston to me.” Either way, something tells me that Barb has been through this whole drug/court/judge scenario before because she was like, “Uh-oh Keiffah is DONE!” and even as Jenelle is leaving the house she just keeps shaking her head and yelling, “The weed, Jenelle, don’t lie about the weeeeeeed!” like she was on her death bed and this was the last message she could give her lil b*tch of a daughter (that’s you) before she went into the light.

Court is some serious business and after listening to Barb’s advice on how to act, she knows that she shouldn’t talk, be seen with Kieffah, or for some inexplicable reason place her eyeglasses on top of her head. Jenelle understands the memo and even knows that Kieffah is supposed to “tuck in his pants” whilst talking to the judge. Great, that makes sense. Tuck his pants into his underwear? I’m confused. Either way, Jenelle picks up Queen LaQueefer just outside the grassy knoll and he’s decided to wear his green hoodie tucked into his baggy jeans. Like he couldn’t have robbed a Sears employee for a pair khakis and a button down? Hell, that’s basically all Barb has in her closet! The luck of the drunken Irish is on their side, however, because once they arrive at court they learn that it’s closed due to some snow flurries and has been rescheduled for two months from now. Special K looks like he’s about to go on the lam.

Even after their gift from Jesus himself about the court delay, things don’t go that great for these two goons. Jenelle says in her voiceover that they’re trying their best not to get in trouble before their next court appearance. Seriously? How is that a hard thing to do? It’s not like you walk outside and accidentally stab someone. People don’t get in trouble all the time. It’s called being a productive member of society. Things take a turn for the worse when Kieffah reads a text message from Jenelle’s ex-boyfriend about how he wants to hang out again with her. He freaks the F out and says that she gets text messages from all these guys and he doesn’t have any girls texting him. Technically, can you text to the payphone in jail? I’m not quite sure how that works. And, not for nothing, but if Keiffah got to have boyfriend whilst serving time, why can’t Jenelle have one too? Special K storms out of the house shouting that they’re done and probably goes to hibernate on the grassy knoll. He never responds to any of Jenelle’s messages and she remains very calm and collective to all of this. I’m kidding. She won’t get out of bed and is screaming and shaking and crying. Poor Barb just wants to go to the Town Hall because she’s gotta pay her god-damn sewer bill, but Jenelle won’t watch Jace for her because she can’t stop crying and listening to an automatic recording that says, “Your call has been automatically forwarded to…” over and over again.

Finally, Queen LaQueefer decides to return her call and comes over to visit Jenelle whilst Barb is out partyin’ her ass off. Luckily for us, Kieffah is wearing a black Betty White t-shirt and decides to end things with Jenelle. This causes her to scream “why!?!?!” and when he calls someone to pick him up, Jenelle storms the car like someone just kidnapped Jace and is about to speed off. I’m kidding. She hates Jace. Jenelle literally loses her sh*t and is punching his window, gets her hand stuck in his door, and is screaming for him to get out of the car because she loves him so much. His friends look like they think they can “catch crazy b*tch” so they all speed off leaving Jenelle to walk back to the house and sit in her new white Jetta (which I forgot to mention) and cry her eyes out. Did anyone notice that she she cries she, legit, looks just like Barb? Dead on. And, not for nothing, but this is just a classic case of “Daddy didn’t love me and left us when I was little so I’m trying to find my self-worth and acceptance in bad choices in men.” If only Jenelle could find her knight in shining armor like Barb has with pirate-obsessed Mike. A mustache and teeth in armor.

Leah – Hey y’all I’m about to talk about the gen-et-i-cist all god damn episode! Since the trailer isn’t quite dirty enough already, Leah decides to bring home a filthy rabid cat! She literally takes it out from under her coat to show Corey and the girls. Corey looks like he’s pissed that there’s another pussy in the house and the one with the goggles looks like she’s pissed that something else smaller than her can walk. Calm down, she ends up knowing how to stand. Leah is all nervous because the physical therapist is coming over, but I’m as excited as can be because usually these characters are a gift from God. This lady (?) doesn’t disappoint. She may or may not be “with penis” but that just adds to her charm. Oh and she has a “mens regular” haircut. Perfect. She does fun physical therapy exercises such as, “I’ll sit on the rug and pass the baby to you.” Looks like the one with the goggles is already improving. The physical therapist even lets Leah know about some great walking splints that she has that will help the baby (Aliterriaki?) stand up on her own. She whips out some magazine to show her…but I’m pretty sure it was just a picture of tissue boxes and duct tape. She’s standin’ y’all! When she asks her if she thinks Ali will ever be able to walk, the therapist just shrugs her shoulders and yes, “I think so.” She couldn’t give less of a sh*t and, to be honest, this is West Virginia we’re talking about. I mean the schooling and training needed to actually become a physical therapist consists of one thing: Just don’t have sex with your sibling. If you can do that, PRESTO!, you’re a physical therapist.

However, everything can’t just be tissues boxes and duct tape because Leah needs to keep sounding out geneticist over and over again. One of these days she’ll get it right by the second try. Practice makes perfect! Unfortunately by the time they actually get to the geneticist the cameras aren’t allowed inside so we’re forced to listen to Leah and Corey try to recap what they learned as they sat in the truck. Apparently they think she has some kind of dysplasia and Leah and Corey seem more scared about pronouncing that big word than even knowing what it means. Not that any of this is funny, but I like how they’re like “So we went to see my mom to see if she could help us figure out what it was.” I mean she’s a god damn dental assistant. The best part is that she was acting like she was an actual doctor, so she shows them to the computer and Leah looks like, “so you mean this sex-box can give us information too, y’all?” Thank God for Google auto-complete or this search could have gone on for hours. They read all the symptoms and while the one with the goggles doesn’t have many of those symptoms she does have a few. However, Leah’s mom and stepdad (who I’m pretty sure if the mother’s brother) both look like, “Oh sh*t! We have all those symptoms!” That explains a lot. A lot. Corey don’t want to talk about it no more and says “the conversation is over.” We know this because of the sub-titles. Had it not been for the sub-titles I would have assumed he was reciting a nursery rhyme.

In the end, after waiting a long four weeks for the results Leah finally gets the call that the one with the goggles is fine and doesn’t need to come back to the doctor for 1 year. Um, yeah, something is definitely wrong with her. If West Virginia can’t give them answers they should at least try doctors in regular Virginia and, well, I’m not good with the map but is there a South or North Virginia because, if so, I would try that too. At least Alilaqueesha is showing some promise because Leah’s mom taught her how to stand up against the coffee table and suddenly she leaves us with this mental picture, “You know what I just remembered? Leah, I taught you how to walk by placing cheese puffs all along the rug because you loved you some cheese puffs.” And that, my friends, sums up everything I ever needed to know about this family…and why there are orange stains on the carpet.

Chelsea – Two hours of this pile of bricks? No thanks. Let’s go quickly because, let’s face it, I’m just as tired typing all this as you are reading it. Chelsea has to move out of the house she’s staying in because the owners want to sell it. That’s code for, “the Board of Health wants to condemn it because she lives like a Hoarder.” So, Randylicious is going to get her a new place and, in turn, Chelsea is going to dye her hair the blondest blond that South Dakota can find. I’m not kidding, it was white. Like Walgreen’s Halloween aisle 7 fright wig white. And I’m pretty sure she got extensions too which looked like were pulled from Paris Hilton’s head circa 2002. It looked awful. And, as punishment, they should have dyed her no-no the same color just to teach her a lesson. What was strange was by the time she got home to chat with her friend Megan her hair wasn’t as white…but then later when talking to Adam, it was white again. I mean I couldn’t give 2 Aubree-sized sh*ts but I want to get to the bottom of what happened.

Megan spills the scripted beans to Chelsea that she is knocked to the up. I’m not sure what the big surprise was. I mean, when Megan walked into the house her stomach was pushing out of her coat and she was basically swinging the baby around by the umbilical cord. She should have just handed it over to Chelsea and been like, “Here. Aubree did this while you were gone.” Sidenote, what the hell happened to Megan’s face? It’s like her chopped bangs are trying their best to attack it! And you totally know that if MTV doesn’t make Megan a permanent cast member in the next two years she’s totally going to try and flush that baby down the toilet by its 2nd birthday. She should do it in the bathroom of a Prom because I hear those girls have a lot of success with the flushing. Plus, you get to do the Electric Slide right afterwards. Boogie Oogie Oogie Oggie.

In the remaining two hours nothing good happens except Chelsea found a new apartment that her dad can pay for. I mean, she’s decided to step up to the plate and pay the water bill and junk. The best part was that the realtor guy couldn’t have cared less and suddenly during the walk-through was like, just sign here and then handed her the keys and was like “congratulations” without a smile. Maybe he’s just pissed that he didn’t get the memo that in South Dakota in the middle of the winter you’re supposed to be naturally orange. Noted.

Kail – Issac’s first birthday/confrontation with Janet and her sour puss and Janet Jackson Escapade hair/Kail’s Snooki poof/creepy cousins/Jordan buying Issac sneakers that he can’t wear until he’s 5/Kail crashes her car/crying because she can’t afford the tow-truck even though she makes about $75K from MTV/buys a horrible two-door green car from some future contestant on the Biggest Loser/files in court for child support from Joe/Janet is going to kill her and/or have a dance-off with her Rhythm Nation-style. 5..4…3…2…1.

Discuss.

Sorry folks these 2 hour episode give me a case of “the sleepy” and “the angry.” It’s too much and I want to flush my junk down the toilet. So, feel free to discuss Kail and Chelsea in more detail in the comments section. Hell, maybe I’ll even chime in. In the meantime, if you liked this please click on the “Recommend” buttons I placed all over this b*tch so you can share it with your garbage pail kids on Facebook. Help me sell out!

Speaking of which, join me on my own Facebook page where everyone won’t stop writing comments every two seconds about Teen Mom no matter what I write.

141 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

IBBB Said,
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-IBBB
Felicity Said,
OK, when did Chelsea become ‘the pretty one’ in her friendship with Megan? You know it’s true. And, yeah, Megan was clearly ready to pop. That scene was so stupid. It kills me to say this, but I think Chelsea may actually be an OK mom if she could once and for all grow some balls (ovaries?) and get rid of Adumb. He is such a dick. Although I was pretty confused when she demanded that he help her move, he didn’t commit, and then she was mad that he didn’t keep his word.

Barb was fantastic in this episode. Every second was awesome.

I love the names you’re coming up with for the twins.
Felicity Said,
OK, when did Chelsea become ‘the pretty one’ in her friendship with Megan? You know it’s true. And, yeah, Megan was clearly ready to pop. That scene was so stupid. It kills me to say this, but I think Chelsea may actually be an OK mom if she could once and for all grow some balls (ovaries?) and get rid of Adumb. He is such a dick. Although I was pretty confused when she demanded that he help her move, he didn’t commit, and then she was mad that he didn’t keep his word.

Barb was fantastic in this episode. Every second was awesome.

I love the names you’re coming up with for the twins.
alwayssunny Said,
for the record i would be a part of janet’s rhythm nation anytime.

i loved how jenelle’s “friend” just came walking up her driveway from god knows where (probably a production van since she was pretty much some random girl they picked up at the local mcdonalds). then she walked into the house and was like “hey guuuurrlllll, your bff is here to casual talk about all your problems so that you’re not just talking out loud to the cameras! p.s. i totes love your blue abercrombie sweatshirt it’s so adorbs!”

f’ing teen mom 2. i hate how i love you and your blatant non reality.
donna Said,
anyone else notice the wolf-like creature in leahs yard?weve pretty much decided it was taylor lautner so im off to west virginia!!also,when the therapist came to leahs house did leah really say this is alli and this is …uh…alleah?
Anonymous Said,
Cowardly Lions doppleganger aka Chelsea aka “If you got STD problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems and the herp IS one” she’s so damn delusional I just want to smack the Adam’s peen sores right off her.

I loved Bawbwa’s urgency to go pay the poo bill, “Jenella, me and Mike can’t take a dumpa unless I go pay this soowah bill right nah.” She probably thinks the soowah people will come take her toilet away.

Leah doesn’t eat Cheetos anymore, she rubs them on her face and calls its “make up”

Kail’s just a big dumb tard.
Honey Boo Boo Said,
I was kinda sad that no one said “A dolla makes me holla honey boo boo!!” Oh right, wrong show.

Now that the genet-i-cist says that nothing is wrong in Alilaqueesha’s head, can we get to Leah cheatin’ on Corey??

For reals, yo, Jennelle just makes me sad. I really do feel very bad for how clueless she is on life.
SimplySarah Said,
Was Jenelle’s lawyer the same fella who played Chelsea’s realtor? Anyway, it was really cute when Aliaaliannahleah stood up against the coffee table. I wanted to throw some cheese puffs down in front of me so she’d come play with me.
Bitch Jungle Said,
I hate how Jenelle is just a waste of life laying in her bed all day with her cell phone. Take care of your son and go read a fucking book or something.

So the twin doesn’t have that ambiguous genital disorder? i couldn’t stay up….
Jenny Said,
Jenelle is really pathetic. She’d rather lay in bed bawling about Kieffer than spend time with her son. Being a mother to Jace should come before being a pathetic girlfriend to Kieffer!
Lisa Said,
Jenelle is such a mess. I find it hard to even make fun of her anymore. she needed to be smacked when she was crying in bed over Keiffah and refused to watch her own son for a few minutes. time to get some therapy for your issues. poor Jace will always come in 2nd to whatever guy is in Jenelle’s life.

I also noticed that Chelsea’s hair was white at the salon and then not so white in the very next scene. after that I started paying close attention to her hair color and it literally changed in each scene. I couldn’t keep up. also – totally cracked up when an obviously pregnant Megan came over to reveal that she was pregnant. LOL

Kail – I want to cut a foot of her hair off. it always looks so gross to me.
alwayssunny Said,
i forgot to mention how i’m starting to second guess that whole “you can’t get pregnant from oral sex” thing because meagan looks like she’s carrying that baby in her cheeks and her double chin. that girl’s face got fat!
Kelli Said,
I am really starting to hate all of these “reality” shows.Now I only watch so I can comment on this blog.These girls make me want to throw my tv out the window
Brenda Walsh Said,
Disclaimer-I tried to post a very similar comment already but it won’t show up, so if somehow I post multiple times, my apologies.

Chelsea-Her hair drove me absolutely crazy this episode. I am beginning to think MTV is just messing with us. The best was one they added the “Later That Night” caption and then showed her with completely different colored hair. Honestly, it’s so dumb.
Brenda Walsh Said,
Anyone else notice that Janelle had two phones? When she was on the phone trying to call Kieffer, another phone, in a pink case, was lying on the bed next to her. Does MTV make them have a different phone for filming purposes?
Brenda Walsh Said,
Does anyone have scoop on Megan? I know she had her kid since this was filmed ages ago, but does anyone if she had a boy or girl and if she and Chelsea are still friends? What about her boyfriend-are they still together?
Christine Said,
I think if jenelle wants to stay out of jail she should hire Farrahs lawyer John jingle hiemer Schmidt. And was it me or when they were showing Che seas hair I swea to god there were bald spots in the back of her head! I’m sur it’s a driedout rats nest
Brenda Walsh Said,
Kail-I gave my TV the side eye when she pulled those oversized shoes out of the box. Jordan is so dumb-those shoes were practically longer than Isaac’s whole body! Oh, and Kail, here’s a tip-when you sob about being broke, try not to sport Ugg boots and a large Coach tote bag.
Brenda Walsh Said,
Last comment, promise! (this comment blocker sucks IBBB!)
Also, why do Kail and Janelle feel the need to buy new cars when theirs break down-wouldn’t it be more economical to fix it? My fiancé was unable to handle the fact that Kail was PAYING to have her car stored somewhere. He kept saying over and over again, “tow it your house, idiot-you can keep it there for free!”
Kate Said,
The hair in this episode was killing me! Cough, cough Chelsea and Kail, please buy some damn barrettes or something!!! Leah must have said geneticist like, 500 times in this episode…I actually lost count! Great recap as always, Patrick!
SimplySarah Said,
You know, after all the geneticist talk, that scene was a total letdown. Here we are, listening to Leah talk about it forever, then they finally go to the appointment and no cameras are allowed in. When they come out they’re both like “I don’t understand what she said.” Gah!!!
kerry Said,
maybe i was sleepy but i really thought i saw jace rolling around on the kitchen counter while jenelle sat on the couch w/her friend
KittenCat Said,
First time poster, long time lurker….

Hands down my favorite scene is when Jenelle is in her bed of self-disgust and loudly wailing a message to Keiffer to pick up.
Barb goes to the door and shoots the camera a look of pure ‘can you believe that my daughter is this dumb?’ . I half expected the camera to nod up and down and invite B out for bourbon and generic cola.
Toni Beth Holland Said,
Oh Patrick. I apoligize for posting all over ur fb page! Sorry! As I have little to look forward to in my own life, these trashbags make my Tuesday nite! I’ll see about befriending the other girls on ur page and we will just post to each other so we don’t bombard ur page with insanity love the blog so keep it up.
anastasia Said,
@Brenda–

Megan had a baby boy. I believe his name is Hunter. He was over 9lbs and she did it all naturally!! She had lots of complications following the birth- passing grapefruit sized blood clots- so she had to stay in the hospital for some time. And to my knowledge she and Cody are still together.
Leah Said,
Did anyone else notice the plastic hair Chelsea was wearing when she was talking to Randylicious????
dacabsarehere Said,
Lol @ christine for the whole john jacob jingle heimer reference.

I can’t watch a full hour of this crap so two hours was clearly out of the question. I did catch when beaver chicks was telling her scripted story to Chelsea. For second I thought I was watching an episode of The Hill.

Like someone else mentioned I’m hoping we can get to the part where Cory was cheating on Leah or Leah was cheating on Cory or whatever the fluff happened that caused Leah to divorce him, get knocked up and engaged to someone else all before this season ever even finished. Way to achieve your goals gal. She makes me feel like I should have more vigor and aspirations in life.
dacabsarehere Said,
not beaver chicks … beaver cheeks*** sowwy!
Kiera Said,
Hey I’ll be the gen-et-i-cist on this one….Leah, it’s called inbreeding you dumbshit. Your child’s effed up, blame your grand-pappy for it.
IBBB Said,
YES! I love all these comments. We are all equally tools and it makes this world a better place.

ToniBeth – I love all the Facebook comments! I just don’t want people on Facebook forgetting about this little old site once the blog is posted. Keep it coming! not literally.

-IBBB
Kiera Said,
If I had a child that had a gimpy leg that barely stood on just her heels and was told to come back in a year I would DEFINITELY go for a second, third or even fourth opinion. This poor child doesn’t have a chance.
Square Hair Said,
I tripped out so hard when Leah walked in and said something like “We have to go see the ge-net-e-cist-sthh-sthh-this week” (it like all ran together like a lisp!)

Yes Anonymous, I was totally about to say that Leah still likes Cheetos OBVIOUSLY, she uses it as her make-up!!

I noticed Chelsea’s changing hair colors and bald spots and extensions also. Leah also had very noticeable extensions and a bald spot in the back of her head too!!
jean marie Said,
a) does jenelle know that there are other stores other than victoria secret pink? the fact that she couldnt watch her own baby while baawwb paid the sewah bill makes me want to slicer her face open, and how the EFF are girls going to text message you qeefer? u have no phone, u live in the trees, and you have been wearing the same hoodie since you stole it from one of your meth lab trailers you stayd in between homelessness….
b) i cant talk about chelsea because i fear i may hurt myself..
c) kail, hi i filed for child support, byeeee….um wasnt she just droppign him off to jo? she couldnt tell him in person? thats why janet nipple showing jackson hates your little whore ass…
d) Leah….. dear god almightly in heaven…….. she said geneticist 4,3765 times last night.. and still cant get it right..it is like nails stabbing me in the head MREYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY choke bitch
Square Hair Said,
Oh and WTHeck did Barb say, well yell, to Jenelle as she was lying in her bed bawling…it just all came out as one long jumble and did not even have sub titles! It was hilarious!
Brenda Walsh Said,
Leah kept saying this was Ali’s first physical therapy appointment but I am almost 100% certain we saw a therapist come to the trailer last season and work with Ali, trying to bend her legs outward and whatnot. Am I wrong?

Oh, and @anastasia-thanks for the update! That’s scary about the blood clots! :0
Kiera Said,
Patrick, I loved the Kail section! Best summary ever, short and sweet.
Denise Said,
I’m so glad you referenced that Crying Jenelle = Barbara’s Doppelganger. I had the same thought while watching.

And for Heaven’s sake, HD is not friendly to that thing Chelsea unsuccessfully tried to cover up along her mouth!! It was grotesque…
Square Hair Said,
I hate how Jenelle ALWAYS has on PINK stuff. I LOVE VS and those clothes but now I don’t know if I can wear it any more. They should do her like they did Gary in AERO shirts err…SHIRT… and bleep it out or make him stop wearing it.
Anonymous Said,
I don’t know why you keep saying that West Virginia’s doctors are so inadequate, where else is a geneticist going to get the kind experience that he could get in the Mountain State? Genetic mutations are more common than the herpes outbreaks on Chelsea’s face.

Does anyone else see the problem with Jo? How has he gotten by this long without paying child support? and he thinks it’s “unfair” to be asked. Really? He may be the only person dumb enough to get on Kail’s level and convince her of that. Black men, I swear.
Woot Said,
Jenelle – Rotfl, you’re an idiot!
Chelsea – I have no words
Leah – I adore you. Let’s be besties so I can make fun of your accent behind your back.
Kail – Yeah you can afford a Coach bag, but can’t afford to tow your car? Yeah I aint buying that shyt. FYI to the above poster who said Jo was black, Jo is actually hispanic.
Woot Said,
Jo is HISPANIC!
Woot Said,
Chelsea is a as dumb as a box of ROCKS!
Janet's 'stache Said,
In Kail’s defense, the boots and the Coach bag were her Christmas gifts from Jordan.

Sorry….you know I love me some Kail

And speaking of that, Janet is on my last nerve. She’s friggin’ immature. Kail’s world doesn’t revolve around pleasing your hairy ass, ape girl! Cut her some slack, damn.
Anonymous Said,
Oh, I meant to say “not white men.”
Kelli Said,
My son’s father is a white man who hasn’t done anything for his son in the 9 years he’s been alive.Good try Anonymous but color has nothing to do with being a good father.
beth Said,
Did anyone notice how many times small chin kail said “like” while in the party store with her mammoth friend?
Woot Said,
@beth YES! My question was why did it take her lazy ass so long to get her GED? Randy pays all her bills, so it’s not lik she works and goes to school..
Anonymous Said,
Dang it again on my racist ass getting called out. Kelli, you go girl! 9 years of being an angry hobbit must be wearing on you.
Woot Said,
^I was talking about Chelsea
Darling Nikki Said,
Did anyone else hate how Kail sobs about not having money to support Isaac all while on her IPHONE not to mention cant wait til next wk when Joe goes off on her. Loved Janets sexy hair not to mention her 80s flash dance fame outfit.
Jenelle’s meal ticket or kid in the real world sense said bye Jenelle and not mommy when they show her leaving for court. Pretty sad that Barb-alicious is more of mommy dearest than Jenelle.
Leah well can we say we love how momma Dawn basically treated Leah like a dog and now shes doing the same with little miss hannible in training.
Chelsea well sadly we have nothing to say other than way to go on showing bre-bre its ok to be in a relationship from hell and that its ok to sponge off daddy randylious cause well mtv money trains bound to stop and adammmm wont want to be around anymore.
OH THE JOYS OF MTV
Kelli Said,
No angry hobbit here.I do what I need to do to take care of my son.Hiding behind the name Anonymous must make you feel very brave.I’m on this site to talk about Teen Mom 2 not to argue with a troll looking for a fight.The rest of your ignorant comments will be ignored.
Woot Said,
Kelli women like you inspire me to get my own shiz together for the sake of my 1 year old daughter. I know one day her father could say screw her, so I’m in graduate school for the both of us.
Gary's Huge Belly Said,
How did Jordan afford a Coach bag that big and the Uggs….walmart must pay really well.

Janelle was just arrested again today for threats made to her old roommate. She’s grinning in her mug shot. Barb is going to shoot her LOL
Janet's 'stache Said,
Hey, now, Huge Belly, it’s Sports Authority, not Wallymart!
Icka Said,
The real winner here was Cory’s dad for his amazing hoodie and overalls combination. It must be known as “the king’s robe of West Virginia” because he is the wisest of them all.
Daisy H Said,
Did anyone else notice one of the twins in the back seat during a snowy winter morning without socks on her feet. Great parenting Leah. Also if she said the word geneticist one more freakin time I was going to lose it!!!! Also what kind of incompetent doctors live in West Virginia that apparently can’t see the urgency in getting Ally help. She clearly has major problems with her legs. I felt so bad for her when she was standing at the coffee table. Please get some more help for this child!!!!

Chelsea is so stupid I can’t stand it. I was wondering if that was a herpes legion on her mouth too. That would explain why Adam was scarce this episode. He probably didn’t want his usual BJ’s from Chelsea while she was sporting that lovely sore on her face. Randylicious needs to stop enabling his daughter and actually make her get her GED or a job or do something with her sad, lazy self!!!!

Jenelle is so pathetic putting Keiffa on a pedastel the way she does. He is a useless waste of space. He offers NOTHING to her life and I am sick of her trashing on Barb!!!! At least she cares for the son you have all but abandoned for a piece of crap guy. I love how she asked her lawyer how long she needed to stay clean after court was over. How about forever, dumbass!!!!

Kail just annoys the crap out of me. Her boyfriend has rocks in his head and Janet is just plain scary!!!! I look forward to this blog every week I find myself watching the show and saying I bet this will be on the blog tomorrow!!!! Thoroughly entertaining!!!!! Also Patrick I am from Boston too. I think you are hysterical!!!! You should do stand-up comedy!!!!
Ibbb4eva Said,
Apparently it’s pretty hard for jenelle to stay it of trouble – she just got arrested for harassing her ex roommate named Hannah!
alexiscp Said,
Does Kail do anything without going behind someone’s back to do it?? My god, she is the biggest two-faced person I’ve ever seen. And has no remorse for screwing people over, who have financially helped support her and her son. I’m sure when the MTV money-well has run dry, she will be writing a book about how MTV ruined her life forever.
Anonymous Said,
I actually didn’t intend to post anonymously the first time, but had to stick with it after that. I also didn’t realize that posting under your first name only made you any less anonymous, it’s Cori btw. Another thing, you shouldn’t take everything you read seriously.(especially on here)The jokes are just funny. I mean, maybe not to Jo, but he’s a dumb ogre who probably doesn’t know how to use the internets anyway.
Kail Said,
Why am I the only one here that sees how Jo OWES her child support?
lav Said,
i love to read what the girls are tweeting as the show goes on because they are still just as stupid now as they are on the show. you should all go check out their tweets, hilarious!

jenelle just always says how stupid she is about everything. oh, and she blamed her crying in her bed over kieffah on MARIJUANA WITHDRAWAL. really?!?! i mean, really?!?! come on.

kail said on her twitter that she can afford an iphone because of “money management.” sorry, but i think having a car to drive myself and my son around is more important than having a nice phone. i don’t believe that she’s broke for a second.

chelsea is an idiot. what self respecting woman would let a guy treat you like that?! if my boyfriend ever pulled one of the millions of things he has done to her on me, he would be gone.

whoever made that comment about leah using cheese puffs as her make up was DEAD ON!! so perfect. i love all of you commenters and you, IBBB. you make wednesdays the best.
alexiscp Said,
I never said Jo doesn’t owe her child support. I only said, she goes behind everybody’s back and does things. She uses people to get what she wants, and when things don’t go Kail’s way, she runs and hides like a 2 year old throwing a temper tantrum.
Natalie Said,
Did anyone else notice how when Leah brought the kitten in, she showed it to the one who is not Ali, and when the baby smiled and reached out for it, Leah snatched it away and handed it over to Ali. That poor little girl had to be thinking “That bi**h gets everything. Even socks.”
Kail Said,
I just assumed that is what you meant by “And has no remorse for screwing people over, who have financially helped support her.”
Brenda Walsh Said,
Jo definitely should be paying child support, especially since he isn’t really paying bills/rent like Kail is. HOWEVER, the way Kail did it was shady, shady, shady (which she actually admitted on Twitter last night). Her emotionlessness in awkward situations creeps me out sometimes. Why couldn’t she TALK to Jo and his parents about it? I’m sure they could have worked something out and even if she had to go to court, she didn’t need to do it like THAT. Sneaky.
Isaac's giant sneakers Said,
Anonymonous this is hysterical! – Leah doesn’t eat Cheetos anymore, she rubs them on her face and calls its “make up”
Talula Said,
I want Randy to be my dad….or suga daddy.
alexiscp Said,
Exactly Brenda Walsh! Thank You.
Janet's 'stache Said,
@Talula LOVE IT LOL!!!
Felicity Said,
I don’t know why I’m feeling so nice today, but I felt a little bit sorry for Kail. Usually I do think she’s shady, but last night I found myself thinking about her mom and how Kail probably has no idea how to have a healthy relationship with someone. I honestly think she didn’t mean to be shady, she was just afraid to tell him. I really want to be snarky again.
Janet's 'stache Said,
Jump on the Kail Train, Felicity, it’s ok. We are here for you.
Vuuuhhhginya Said,
@Daisy H–I noticed that about the socks, as well but in Leah’s defense, my 2 year old pulls off her socks and shoes in the car. Actually, tons of little ones do that. As long as the heat is on, their feet won’t freeze. When they were walking into the hospital, the socks were on both sets of feet though, so that’s a plus…but they SHOULD be wearing shoes, not just sucks in the middle of the winter!!

Something that drives me nuts is how none of the babies on this show are ever strapped in to their carseat appropriately.

Did anyone notice how FAST Jenelle ran after Queefer’s friends car?!
Woot Said,
@ Janet’s ’stace omg Why did I think of “janet’s mustache cash stashe?” Damn you Regular Show!
donna Said,
i actually think kail may get further than the other 3.she actually works,goes to school.the other 3..not so much.i too wanted to scream when leah said genesist.i believe we decided to make it a drinking game but i was afraid id run out of booze…
Jenny Said,
I agree with Felicity, Jo’s always an ass to her getting mad and calling her a stupid whore. I wouldn’t want to face him either!
SimplySarah Said,
I don’t think Kail is intentionally sneaky. I just think she’s missing some life skills in terms of how to act appropriately. I did laugh when she ended the voicemail to Jo about filing for child support with a simple “Sorry!”
donna Said,
just read on starcasm that leah is having twins again…..hope its not true.
Janet's 'stache Said,
I agree about Kail. I mean, look at how her mother communicates! We forget that she’s still very young. She hasn’t had a whole lot of life experience yet, so of course her communication skills are limited. And Jo is a straight up ass. Give Kail a few years, and she’ll be firing back at him. I think right now she just takes his verbal abuse because she just doesn’t know any better. I think Kail really is doing the best she can. The dramatics and staging of the show aside, I give Kail a lot of credit. She’s in school, she works, and she’s constantly running around trying to get things done. I don’t think she was being sneaky about how she went about filing for child support. She owes no explanation to Jo, and ESPECIALLY not to Janet’s ’stache! She is entitled to child support, and the fact that Jo is living at home…he’ll be lucky if she isn’t awarded back child support for all the time that’s passed when he hasn’t been paying! Bottom line, I think Kail is just trying to do what is right. While she may be rough around the edges as far as how she goes about things, that is beside the point. So Jo and Janet are butt hurt….GET THE HELL OVER IT. I mean seriously, grow up. I lost what little respect I had to the ’stache last night when she chastised Kail about the letter. Come on, hairy woman, Kail has WAY more important things to worry about than your frail, hurt little feelings. Grow up. Or get a hobby, cuz you must be really bored to be so infatuated with every move Kail makes. Ok, I’m done. I feel SO much better now.
QueenofCorona Said,
Did anyone see Jenelle’s latest mug shot? The morphing of her face becoming Bawbwa’s is starting at the chin. Holy mother of Butthead chin.
Corey's Hat's Brim String Said,
Kail- I’d die happy if we could get to see Janet do a finger countdown ala Rhythm Nation, complete with all black track suit, sinching belt and combat boots. “Sing it if you want a better way of life..”

Leah- Anyone besides me remember a movie called “Wrong Turn”. It was about murdering inbred West Virginia hill people or maybe it was some Crispin Glover movie…. But anyway somebody better check the trailer park well water! Twins again Leah?? Your ovaries must perform like salad shooters. Let’s hope neither of them needs to see the genettististitss.

Chelsea- Why was her hairdresser dyeing a wig? I was confused. Chelsea doesn’t really have any of her own hair does she?

Jenelle- When Keefa was arrested did he give the authorities Planet Fun’s address as his own? Is it wrong that I wanted to spank and tickle Jenelle’s lawyer?
Wednesdaystreat Said,
So, did anybody else notice the hair on the “stylist” that did that HORRID job on Chelsea?? WTH????? I also thought that SD must have WAY different rules about renting than where I live. No app? No credit check? I guess Randylicoious is well-known enough.

What kind of dentists does Leah “work for?” “I had to take the month off because Ali (and YES! They DO favor Ali!) had a doctor appt. In REAL life, she would be fired a long time ago! (even thought she now works one DAY a week??? UM K.

As for her mom–WHAT in GOD’s NAME were those RED PIECES OF HAIR by her ears??? HOT, I tell you. She is HOT just like her hubby!

PLEASE get some edjumacation in that family!!!!

Kial: What is her name anyway?? KAILYNN is what it always says, but she even calls herself KAIL. LOVE that car you overpaid by about 1500 bucks for! SMART! I know, I know. She is just a youngin’ that don’t know no better!

Barb: GOLD! Loved when she was picking lint off Jenelle before the court appearance that wasn’t! And btw, I THINK she’s New York and not Boston. I thought she WAS Boston, but I read she’s New York, I think.
Miss W Said,
Square Hair, you read my mind about VS Pink. These girls are doing to it what Gary did to Aeropostale.
What was up with Kail buying a car before trying it out? Or did I miss a scene? These 2 episodes had so many things to make fun of so I l knew IBBB wold be on top of his game on this recap.
Anonymous Said,
Kail paid $1000 for the car. Where are you getting over $1500 from??
mamacourt Said,
I’m pretty sure the used car guy said that her balance was $2000 something and that they’d work out a payment plan. She definitely overpaid for that POS.
Wednesdaystreat Said,
She paid over 2200 + the 350 she signed over, unless I heard that wrong, which I suppose is possible, even though it wasn’t a Corey scene. She’s paying payments.
Sally Said,
@Beth – I read that Leah’s pregnant with twins again too! Let the atrocious name selections begin…
kasey Said,
Can we make a drinking game for every time Leah butchers “geneticist” already??
katie Said,
hi, my name is kail, and i’m typing this from my iphone that i store in my coach bag. its a little hard to type on this thing because i get my nails done every week. my house used to stink like dirty diapers really bad, but then i started buying scentsy by the ton, so my problems with that are done. now if you will excuse me, i need to go take some household appliances from my mom, then i have a busy day of sitting and waiting for my child support check to come in, and also perfecting the Snooki poof on my head. you all like it, right?
katie Said,
hi ya’ll, this is leah and……oh shit…….grandpa! quit banging my mom! i can’t get a moments peace around here with all the inbreeding going on. and right in my kidses’ crib for cryin’ out loud!
Anne Said,
I wonder if the computer that Leah used at Mama Crunchy Bang’s home to look up the genetic disorder is the same computer that she discovered IBBB on and then had her West Vagina minions blow up this site?
Daisy H Said,
I love the comment about Leah’s ovaries being like salad shooters. That is awesome!!!! If she really is pregnant with twins, that is just insane. What are the odds of that. I too love how she always takes days off of work because of Ally. Does she ever in fact actually make it to work???

I agree too about the comment that MTV is just messing with us about Chelsea’s hair. I was dying laughing at all the hideous shades of blonde she managed to display in one episode. At first it looks bleached, then a softer blonde, then a rat’s nest. All of which looks horrible. Also what was the hair dresser dsoing? Her hair already looked blonde when she was “apparently doing it blonde.”

Kail did pay $2500 for the crap box car. She handed over her 350 dollar check and still owes $2250. She definitely got taken on that deal. One more thing why do all of the girls have to always have perfectly manicured fake nails?
Tm Said,
Did anyone notice the way Kail pulled the seatbelt over Isaac in her new car?I’ve never seen a carseat that strapped in over the front like that. Looks unsafe for someone who just totaled her car.
CrackinUp Said,
Your recap for Kail is amazing! Janet’s hair scares the crap out of me but im glad we at least get to see her, attitude and all!
KittyKat Said,
Holy mother of life… I am so far behind!! Damn you school and meetings, it’s Wednesday and I have recap reading and commenting to do!!!

Regardless, if MTV ever makes another 2 hour episode, I will send them intense hate mail. Too much.

Barb was her usual fiesty self this episode! I about fell out of my chair whilst she was yelling at jenelle to not lie about the weed. And her shirt, growl baby. Mike and Barb sex tape needs to be leaked. I bet it’s rated arrrrr! Jenelle’s friend, after commenting about her “pretty car”, which we all know will be trashed in a very short amount of time, was more dead in the eyes than Jenelle. Where does she find these people? Are they just scattered amongst random grassy knowls in the NC?

Lesson from Leah: feeding your children shitty junk food will result in unhumanlike skin tones. It explains so much!!!

Chelsea is beyond repair. Between the wig and her hair color changing every scene, thats about all thats worth mentioning. The rest is the same shit story and a new week. Oh, yeah, Rhinoface Megan is pregnant. Oh boy. Shock. Every one if Chelsea’s friends has an unplanned child, bought time Meg-dog!

Kail’s cousins = eek. And she was insanely proud of making a boxed cake mix. I will join in and say part of me does feel for her since she really doesn’t have anyone there on a consistent basis for support (emotionally). And Rob has got to be the result of an overgrown hobbit who mated with an Ogre.

Like I said Patrick, I will continue to comment here and on your FB like a trash loving plague!
Wednesdaystreat Said,
OH YEAH! I forgot about that blue-eyed friend of Jenelle’s! HIGH anyone???
Keiffer smells like balls Said,
Oh, and I read “goggles” whilst taking a sip of Sprite and almost needed to be intubated. Thanks.
Britt Said,
Me gusta, Patrick!!!! You make my Wednesdays worth it (I can’t stay up on tuesdays for all this shenanigans!) love it!
Jokester Said,
”””’Congrats”””So do tell how was Chelsea in person? I love your first teen mom debut. You were perfect playing Chelseas realtor!
Anywho top 7 dumb things I heard these sweet smart lovely gals say….. Yes, their were more but not enough spaceAH
1. How long would I have to be clean for?
2. The landlords are selling ”my house”.
3. Dad. Don’t smush me.
4. Adam–Ah Yes–Ah No–Ah
5. BECAUSE I F*CKEN LOVE YOU (GINA FART) Queffer!
6. Im pregnant!
7. Its lone of my friends died (referring to her car going to the salvage yard)
P.s Also if you have said any of the above….your not for sex–AH
Jokester Said,
”””’Congrats”””So do tell how was Chelsea in person? I love your first teen mom debut. You were perfect playing Chelseas realtor!
Anywho top 7 dumb things I heard these sweet smart lovely gals say….. Yes, their were more but not enough spaceAH
1. How long would I have to be clean for?
2. The landlords are selling ”my house”.
3. Dad. Don’t smush me.
4. Adam–Ah Yes–Ah No–Ah
5. BECAUSE I F*CKEN LOVE YOU (GINA FART) Queffer!
6. Im pregnant!
*7. Its like one of my friends died (referring to her car going to the salvage yard)
P.s Also if you have said any of the above….*your not READY for sex–AH
***The girl that looks like bride of chucky with her husband that curls the rim of his ball caps… I totally skipped them.
Penelope Said,
Too many unbelievably great lines to choose just one. I have half an udon noodle up my left nostril from choking with laughter. You’ve really come into your own as a comedy writer, and it’s a pleasure to be part of your audience. XOXOXO

Laura Linger (on FB) aka Penelope
Meredith Said,
Love the blog. Sadly, this is the highlight of my week.

The best part of these eps for me was Janet’s huge eyeroll after talking to Kail. That cracked me up so bad that I had to rewind and watch it three more times.
Penelope Said,
p.s. I think everyone is too hard on Kailyn. She might be a bit of a drip, but she is in school, she works for a living, she has her own place, and she has custody of her son, who looks healthy and happy. Jo and his family are holier than thou while being skeevy. Nice way to treat the mother of your grandson, Janet. Go bleach your moustache.
Chelsea's Wig Said,
I can’t stand Jo. He’s almost as big a douchbag as Adumb.

I’ll be back with more comments- as I only saw the last 45 minutes of the 2 hour crapfest.
Nicki Said,
I personally loved how Kail was sneaky about it! Why wouldn’t she be after the way Jo has treated her! It’s about time he got smacked in the face with a little something called reality!

Oh, and my favorite part of the show was when Jenelle got her hand smashed in the car door and waited 5 minutes to cry about it. Highlight of my night! I had to rewind and watch about 3 times. Great!
Cara Said,
Nicki- I totally caught that too. It was like a lightbulb went off in Jenelle’s head and she decided she can send kieffer back to court for slamming her hand in the car door. What a dummy.
39 & Not Pregnant Said,
Well we may gripe about 2 hours of TM2 but it sure brought out the awesome comments and a few clever new user names. Welcome Isaac’s giant sneakers, Corey’s hat brim string, Chelsea’s wig and Kieffer smells like balls. Awesomeness. You can tell Gary’s huge belly is an old timer around here.

Where to start?
Leah- poor Alleeah. First she has a name with far too many vowels and now an attention seeking twin sister. Not her fault of course, but let’s call a spade a spade.

Chelsea- I could swear by the last “moving in” scene, her white hair looked like the ends had been dipped in ink. Is she drawing her choices out of a hat in the morning?

Kail- While she annoys me, I did almost shed a tear when she teared up about her financial problems. But then I managed to get over it when in the next scene caught myself giggling at the irony of Chelsea’s dad forking over $800 a month for her to live in her condo and not study for the GED.

Jenelle- dear Lord. Aside from the fact that Kieffer has no home, I’m glad he managed to order himself a Betty White is my homegirl shirt off the internet. Priorities!
feather Said,
did i miss something in all my years of teen mom trash, or is my memory just that bad….when randaliscious was signing for the condo, he had a wedding ring on…!!! guess tv can rot the brain…and if hes re-married why no mention of wifey #2?!
LovetoReadHere Said,
Leah walked in and said, “Guess what I brought home!”–My first thought was, “the new boyfriend.” And she DID snatch that kitten away from the baby without goggles post haste! It would be awesome if she actually cheated on the new guy with Corey so that he is father of the second set of twins. Hope they come up with a better set of names for the next set.

Kail’s doufy boyfriend is the best part of her episode–she’s a shady liar and I’ll never be beguiled just because the others are obviously way less motivated.

Yes!! I absolutely saw that Jenelle crying–looking exactly like Barb moment!! I wondered if anyone else would notice.

Chelsea said Aubrey doesn’t need friends–because Chelsea would be her friend–I had to chuckle–her Randylicious piped right up with, “No, you aren’t her friend, you’re her parent!” Way too late, as daddy set that example a long time ago. In my mind Chelsea has no “real” adults in her life. Her dad’s avoidance of Adam, basically running away from him & not being the adult and insisting to an end to the crappy drama those two “men” have going. Pathetic. I suppose Chelsea and her convalesing knee were left to move in the remaining furniture??? Not cool.
West of Virginity Said,
Keiffer is/was too good for Jenelle.
West of Virginity Said,
Jenelle got a new car & now her birthday presents are going to go to waste.
Rachel Said,
Why is Jenelle even on this show? She’s the furthest thing from a mother I’ve ever seen. She can’t even watch her son for ten minutes while her mom goes to pay a damn sewer bill. It’s really quite depressing to see. Not for her, but for Jace. He barely gets any attention from her.

Also, I’m fairly sure that Kieffah only got back together with Jenelle because he wanted to get some poon after being in jail, and the ex-boyfriend thing was just the first reason he could think of to break up with her. He obviously doesn’t give a shit about her.
Money Train Said,
I read somewhere that Amber makes $280,000 per year being on the show. I also read that Leah recently purchased a new SUV and house. Neither one of these ladies has a job. So, what happens in two years when their contracts are up? How will they continue that lifestyle? Or any lifestyle? I know it doesn’t make for good TV, but MTV should be teaching these girls how to live after the money train ends. Otherwise, I have a feeling the taxpayers will be footing their bills in a few years.

Also, I think the money (or at least a portion) should automatically be set aside (where the moms can’t get to it) for the kids’ college. Help break the cycle.

It saddens me to hear almost all of them complain of money problems, yet they all have fake nails and eat out many times.

It’s great that Kail is going to school, has 2 jobs, lives on her own, bought a new car, has a boyfriend, wipes her own a$$, and whatever else she does ALL by herself, but do we need to hear the list EVERY SINGLE scene? Or was that just me? Maybe?
Yawny Said,
What about when Janet said, “No, Joe’s not here, he’s at THE STUDIO!!”

I almost fell off my chair! Kail’s in luck then with her child support, cuz I hear rappers make the big bucks HAHAHAH
Rebecca Said,
Poor Barb, needs to pay the sewer bill and her bitch of a daughter (that’s you) just lays in bed and cries. Marijuana withdrawal is a bitch.

When Jenelle was chasing after that car, am I the only one who had a flashback to bald Britney with an umbrella?
mamacourt Said,
Yeah, it’s hard to feel sorry for Kail when she’s sporting the fake nails and newly touched up roots. The iPhone made me angry, too. I get that the Uggs and the Coach purse were a gift from Jordan, but seeing her in all her designer glory is vomit inducing.

Oh and the way she strapped Isaac’s car seat into the car had me fuming. Really? The seatbelt goes through the back of the carseat, dipshit.
Money Train Said,
Mamacourt – I forgot about the iPhone and the multiple phones that Jenelle seems to have. Or the different color hair in each scene, that has to add up, getting your hair colored that often. (Oh to have enough money to have different color hair for each day or outfit.)
Anonymous Said,
I feel bad for Kail..she doesn’t have her daddy paying her rent or any family to help her. As for Jo I would have had his ass down at domestic relations as soon as I popped out that kid. He lives in a nice house and has mommy paying everything and is offended she went for child support?

I like how he cried “I only get him on the weekends”..yeah your mom does. Here is a newsflash, if you want to see your child more..go file for more visitation. I also loved how he was telling Kail, he wasn’t paying to support her..what he should have said is my mom is not giving any money to support you..what a total douche.

Did anyone else notice the LEAH is not living in the mobile home anymore? Was it just me or did the move up to a section 8 home?

Chelsea- instead of worrying about your bad hair color..finish the damn GED and get a real job. Seriously my 3 yr old could have passed it by now. So adam failed you AGAIN..how many times is this? And you still don’t get it? Maybe this is why you can’t take the GED because you are stupid.
Wednesdaystreat Said,
I too totally laughed when Randylicious told Chelsea that she was not Aubree’s friend but her parent. Isn’t that the kettle calling the pot black! I totally agree that he’s not showing any maturity by avoiding Adumb. I do see how he feels; I mean,I’d slit my wrist if my daughter was with him.
Janelle's eyebrows Said,
Anyone else notice how Janelle’s lawyer said she was facing so many days in jail, but when he listed the charges and days it added up different? Then when she was telling Barb about it she gave a totally different number of days? I think it went from 360 to 260 to 240.

It’s old, but Jasmelle has a video on Youtube giving a make-up tutorial for whoever wants to look like her in her Rite-Aid cosmetics. According to her in the video, it’s due to popular demand.

Love this blog and comments….I almost die laughing every Wednesday!
heather Said,
it’s so funny joe thinks his house is so nice, his family really came up and got that big house in the burbs. CHECK OUT THE POWER LINES BEHIND THAT THING! Kind of negates the lot premium that came w/ living in the culdesac hehe I said sac!
heather Said,
I love Cory!
Cathy Said,
@Yawny, LOL! I had to rewind that scene 3 times to make sure I heard “studio” right!
SimplySarah Said,
I think “studio” is code for “bathroom.”
SuzieQ Said,
Why is Janelles mug shot so fat?
rikcrik Said,
do you think they got the same guy to play corey’s stepdad and macy’s dad? he wears hair on his upper lip for teen mom 1 and switches to his chin for teen mom 2.

i’ll probably be crucified for this but I think those twins are the ugliest babies i’ve ever seen. Goggles is kinda cute, but that’s just because of the goggles. but man, they’re ugly. who would have thunk that the least attractive of all the teen moms — ambuh and gar — produced the best looking offspring. (admittedly, i’m just not a baby person. no offense, leah and corey. you can’t help if your kids are ugly. doesn’t mean they won’t lead productive lives.)

I don’t think this money train will end soon. I think they’ll follow these kids up through to middle school, high school, rehab (jace), community college (isaac), teen mom-hood (aubree, leah), jail ( jace, of course), head trauma survival spin-off series for bintley, and Harvard for goggles. We won’t know what happens to googles because she doesn’t get any attention. She’ll probably go an live with the Kate & 8 clan.

Ten years from now I already see the one-on-one video with mtv producers showing Aubree the time Adam called her a effin mistaken in a text message and a little bastard while Chelsea-ah was recovering from knee surgery.

face it, friends of patrick, we’re in this for life.
kailsweirdchinandlonghair Said,
Can’t believe jordan bought kail a coach purse. She ends up lying to him so ya she’s shady as hell. Oh ya and she cheats on him 156845398 times and is dating some guy named javi. Poor isaac is going to get confused with all these boy coming in and out of his life
OhGod Said,
i want to make sure everybody knows that leah’s mommacrunchcurls is 37. can you believe that? 37! i actually thought she was like 50 years old. how is that possible? inbreeding causes premature ageing?
Cheryl Said,
Wasn’t Chelsea living in some house that her dad owns? When she kept saying the landlord was selling it, I was confused.

And, Patrick, your continuous use of “the one with the goggles” made me choke on my cheetos. Priceless.
Kortney Said,
37? Really? That’s only 7 years older than me and I have a 2 year old. Her daughter is 18/19? I agree, she does look to be at least in her late 40’s. I wonder if this is what Leah will look like in 18 years?
Wednesdaystreat Said,
37, huh? Wow! That’s scary. I’ve seen it before though. Those gals in them parts don’t’ age well. It’s true. Do SOMETHING besides eat cheetos, drink Mt. Dew and bump uglies, PLEASE!!!

Cheryl, that wasn’t Randylicious’ house. He was just paying the rent on it–just like her new place.

I’m beyond ready for the real drama to start though–WHEN does Kail spend the night with Jo, and when does Leah finally cheat on Corey? Probably not til the last episode! UGH!
Plexie Said,
So, is Chelsea living in low-income housing? When she was looking at the condo listing, next to the pictures there was that little symbol of a house with an equal sign, which around here means Equal Opportunity Housing, aka you can only live here if you make under a certain amount of money. Cuz if so, that’s kinda shady that she’s living in a nice place paying really low rent, meanwhile making tens of thousands of dollars off of MTV. I mean yeah, Kail did it but she wasn’t getting any help from anyone and I read that once she got her check from MTV she left the program and started paying the full rent amount on her own. Chelsea’s still living at that low-income condo.
26yearoldmom Said,
Not only did Kailyn strap Issac in the car all stupid like, but you’re not supposed to use a carseat that’s been in an accident. I will be amazed if these children live long enough to be teen parents.
srm2256 Said,
Chelsea’s hair drove me insane this episode. Clearly MTV needs to stop editing so much and put things in CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER.
Penelope Said,
If Kail wants to wallpaper her house with $100 bills, it still has no bearing on Jo’s child support obligations. The nails and the hair could have been done at a beauty school, for all we know, at a deeply discounted price (a good way to get professional services for very little money, by the way). She could have done her own color out of a box and have a friend who does nails for a living. We just don’t know, and anyway, Kail’s lifestyle choices are irrelevant when it comes to Jo paying support. That’s his son. He does not have primary custody. He owes Kailyn for Isaac’s support. No ifs, ands, or buts.
KittyKat Said,
@Plexie- that symbol does not always indicate low income housing. It’s used by rental companies to indicate they will not discriminate based on race, gender, sexual orientation, etc. it has nothing to do with income.

@rikcrik- spot on with the future predictions of the teen mom kids. I will contribute to the scholarship fund of goggles.
Plexie Said,
Cool, thanks for clearing that up KittyKat. I was about to say…
jen Said,
here’s the deal with Chelsea’s hair (i’m a stylist). mtv just gave up and is barely trying to conceal how scripted this is because all of this footage is out of chronological order as evidenced by chelsea’s hair. in some scenes over the past few weeks she’s clearly been wearing a wig. you can’t go from that dark brown to blond in one process-it’s impossible. first you bleach to strip away the color and then you tone. so when her hair looks white, it’s when it was freshly done. when it looks orange, it’s either because it was done poorly and got brassy (it’s a terrible color on her anyway) or it’s because this was in an in between stage between the dark brown and bleach blond. yes she was wearing wigs and yes she does have terrible extensions.
Corey's subtitles Said,
Literally just now, my son was begging me for something and I yelled out “NOOO-UUHH!!” got-damnit Chelsea!!!
Corey's subtitles Said,
another thing…..Corey and Leah moved out of that trailer with the undone front porch and blue water cooler in the front yard a few days after they got married. I too am ready for the juicy ish to start.
TrashbagAddiction Said,
And what about Chelsea and the moving?? Granted, the editing may have been (probably was) bad, but it seemed as if Chelsea gave Adam 1-day notice that she was moving in and expected him to help and round people up to help as well? I think that was crappy that she half-expected him to not work and help her instead! She should be glad that he has a job and can pay her some child support! Why would she jeopardize that?? Couldn’t Daddy have hired a moving company for her??
chair rail Said,
That’s kind of… abrupt.