Dec
14

Teen Mom 2 Recap: Welcome to the World of West Virginian Medicine, Y’all!

Posted by IBBB

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Hey y’all welcome back to another crapisode of “A Dinky Went Into My Woo-Woo When I Was 16, MTV Got a Hold of Me, and Now I’m Rich, B*tch!” At least that’s the Biblical name of this show. Now I must warn you that this episode is supposed to center around Leah and her baby with the possible problems. I’m sure many of us remember last year when Leah got a hold of this here site and wreaked havoc on me. We were two y’alls away from calling Star Magazine. Either way, it’s going to be real hard to tee-off on those walking trash cans so I’m forced to focus on Leah’s Kim Zolciak wig and quite possibly the doctor. However, if Leah tries to sound out “Geneticist” during her voiceover, well, all bets are off.

Jenelle – Spoiler Alert: This episode is sans Barb. Therefore, I am now a cutter. Moving on. Thing haven’t been going so well for Jenelle since Barb kicked her out of Barbie’s Dream House (see what I did there!). In fact, she’s forced to live in her beat up Honda with Queen LaQueefer. And, to make matters worse while they won’t admit it, I’m pretty sure they both have “ring around the collar” since they’re wearing the same clothes since early 2010. Do you think the camera crew is thinking, “Are we really filming them all night in their car?” It’s like this has morphed into an episode of Intervention, which is kinda awesome.

After a romantic morning of laying around in bed the front seat with only the stick-shift keeping their burning loins away from each other, these two goons call up Cracked Out Amber to see if they can stop by the set of Hoarders and rinse off their disgusting bodies in her ring-worm-infested shower. I hope she passes out tetanus shots when they go to relax on the lanai. Queen LaQueefer is on the rag and doesn’t want to join Jenelle in any of her reindeer games at the city library so she can do some work for her online “college” classes. Sadly, she’s bombing math but that’s another story for another time. In fact, he’d rather that Jenelle drop him off at “Sweepstakes” so he can gamble up all the money that he doesn’t have. Why am I envisioning him placing little baby Jace on Red 9 on the Roulette table? I’m kidding, I’m sure the place where he gambles is basically trying to figure out which card the dead pigeon is hiding under all whilst Barb is in the background near a penny slot machine screaming, “Come on, Mike, big money!” Or other things like, “Come on! Mama needs a new pair of deli slicers!” For me, the best part is that after Jenelle spent over 3 minutes in the library she goes to pick up Kieffer at “Sweepstakes” which is just in a tiny strip-mall next to a place that is actually called “Nothing.” I mean, who needs Miss Cleo, just simply look up to the right, Kieffer, for a glimpse into your future.

The ride “home” with Queen LaQueefer is very awkward as he’s not talking at all, looks like he gained 10 pounds, and straightened his hair. All of it’s awkward. According to Jenelle the only thing that he ever wants to talk about is drugs, weed, or alcohol. I think it’s nice that he’s branching out from strictly drugs and working some booze into the mix. It shows initiative. However, all rides must come to an end and Jenelle ends up dropping him of at, you guessed it, the grassy knoll. Slow your knoll, Keiffaaah! I’m not sure why the camera cut away. I would have liked to see what part of the knoll he’ll be sleeping on. Maybe that’s discussed in the after show.

Not much else happened, surprisingly. See what we miss when Barb has to work a double and doesn’t have enough time to perform in front of the camera? In the end, even though they’re barely talking Jenelle picks up Special K at “The Knoll” and they go to random parking lot where they get into another car of their white trash friends. Since this is a special night out (they’re going bowling) Queen LaQueefer decided to bring a bottle of booze that he plans on drinking in the parking lot of the bowling alley. How many white trash words could you find in that previous sentence? Jenelle doesn’t love when he drinks in front of her because it reminds her of her 3 minute relationship with her baby daddy. Kieffer, however, gets out of the car and takes a swig of booze right in front of Jenelle and, in turn, she gets out of the car and tries to punch him in the face. When that doesn’t work she ends up throwing something at him in the parking lot, to which the white trash friend driver starts freaking out screaming, “Jenelle why would you throw my change cup like that?!” MY CHANGE CUP! Ba da ba ba ba, I’m lovin’ it. If by “change cup” he really means my “savings account” then, yes, I feel his pain. Kieffer freaks out, pushes Jenelle and then throws her into the car. She climbs out the other side like she’s Baby Jessica trying to fight her way out of that damn well and next thing you know Kieffer chases her in the dark parking lot and grabs her all whilst Jenelle screams for 5 minutes. At first I thought she was screaming because their dirty sweatshirts were stuck together, but then I realized she was scared for her life. Uh, why would no one help her? Way to step up, Production Team. Eh, where she’s from I’m sure screaming at the top of your lungs for help at night in the middle of a parking lot is “the poors” way of saying hello.

Kail – Things aren’t too hot for Kail either. I’m surprised as I always assumed teen moms had it easy. Hmmph. Anymane, Kail received an anonymous note from her mothers boyfriend saying that her room is messy and smells bad and she shouldn’t live there any more. I love when drunks write notes. This is very similar to the Snooki/JWoww note strategy for Sammi SweatStains! The only thing that would have made the note better is if the boyfriend put in a little extra effort and made it like a Choose Your Own Adventure. Kail is freaking out that her MILF is going to kick her out of the house so she’s chatting it up with Jordan (who’s dressed in clown-like attire) to see if maybe he’s planning on moving out of his house. He’s like, “B*tch I ain’t going nowhere!” This makes Kail wonder if she’ll have to go on welfare and asks Jordan what he thinks about that. Uh, I’m sorry, but do you qualify for welfare if you’re getting phat (yeah I said “phat”) checks from MTV and the cover of Us Weekly on the regular? What the hell is she doing with all that money? Going to Sweepstakes with Kieffer? Oh, and here’s the other thing…Kail keeps saying that she’s having a hard time “making ends meet.” She said it about 5 times. Full Disclosure: Up until 1 year ago I thought it was “ends meat” and I thought it was a British saying meaning that you were so poor that you couldn’t even make “ends meat.” Like “ends meat” was a cheap meat stew or something. I’m sadly not kidding and well, my friends, this is why I write this here crap blog. And, to be honest, I kinda like my definition better. Sidenote: Add a dash of rosemary to your Ends Meat Stew to give it a little holiday taste.

Things take this random turn for Kail when she looks up some non-profit online and finds out that she can have them pay for her apartment for 2 years and all she has to pay is $50.00 per month. I’m sorry, what? Really? This sounds great! The lady even brings her apartment hunting and everything! If it was me, I’d be such a dick. I’d be like, “Well, um, I was really hoping for granite counters” and “the bedroom is a little smaller than I was hoping…I’ll offer you $35.00 a month.” I mean, not for nothing, but I’m sure if she were willing to scoop out his insides and turn baby Issac into a drug mule she could probably live in a crack house for free. Although, I’m not sure how selective crack houses are these days. Oh, and I almost forgot…how awesome was it when Kail admitted to the random lady who pays for your apartment that her mom is a drunk-a-zoid. Awesome! I hope she’s back off the wagon this season! And where the hell has Janet been hiding. Janet, if you’re out there look up at the moon tonight at 9:06 PM and we’ll both share a moment.

In the end, Kail ended up taking the apartment that I’m pretty sure was Amber and Gary’s ski chalet. I’m not kidding. It looked like it even had walls like Walgreen’s where they set up all the batteries. Maybe that’s why it’s only $50.00? It’s cheap, but you have to willing to listen to Amber beat the fat ass off of Gary 5 nights a week. Eh, I’d pay for that! Ambuuuuuh!

Leah – Ugh. Get ready for the “womp womp” portion of the show. Leah is nervous because she has a doctors appoint for her baby with the eye issue. The odd part is that she mentions that she also has the Geneticist (gen-et-i-cist) appointment in another month. Um, wasn’t she still sounding out that word last season…9 months ago? How long do these appointments take to make? It’s like the Geneticist has a line like Space Mountain. They should just go there instead. That would be more fun. Also, “Geneticist” just may be the new “Pitocin.”

Everything else is boring with this one. Although once she finally makes it to the doctor things get more fun. What in the F kind of doctor is this? He makes the baby look at him and then he whips out this rubber squeaky mouse and starts squeaking it in front of her face like he was going to make her play “go fetch.” He squeezes it a few times like a true pedo and then is like, “Good! Her eyes are all better!” Welcome to the word of “medicine” in West Virginia. Oh, and please save your hate mail. I DO think I’m better than you for living in NYC and not West VA…so let’s just make that clear ahead of time. Insert sidewards winky face because I don’t mean that at all. The good news is that her eyes are fine, although my eyes tell me differently and I’m barely a doctor. Although I’m sure I’d qualify to be the Head of Eyes at West Virginia General Store & Hospital. The bad news is that the baby will still need an MRI to see if there are brain issues. The even more worse news is that Leah still pronounces it “MR-eyyyyyye.” I mean, not for nothing they think the baby seems a little slower than others, but I think she’s fine. I mean, look at who she’s learning from. If tomorrow she crawls out of her bedroom wearing a blond fright wig and flirting with that rubber mouse, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised. And with Corey doing “the teachin’” well, she seems like she’s right on track.

In the end, Corey’s step mother Joetta…stop. I’m going to say that again. Joetta. I am squealing with delight. Joetta spilled the WebMD beans to Leah that she looked up the baby’s issue and thinks she’s going to lose sight in both her eyes. Seriously, who invited this Debbie Downer? Stay the hell off the Interwebs whilst trying to self-diagnose. And, to make matters worse, the other baby took a few steps all whilst Aliana (?) gave her the side-eye like, “B*tch, I’ll run circles around you one day!” The silver-lining for me in all of this was towards the end when Leah and Corey were sitting on the puffy leather couch and there was what I can only assume is bird sh*t stains right by his head. You totally know Leah was flirting with pigeons on the puffy leather couch whilst Corey was working on the railroad all the live-long-day.

Chelsea – Per usual, this chick is bricks. Why start her recap any other way? While Chelsea is on year 2 of studying for her GED she gets a Facebook message from Adam asking her to go back out with him again. I was just shocked these two weren’t still on Myspace with glitter dollar signs falling all over their page. And, since Chelsea really is bricks she tripped up the stairs and tore her ACL all over again. For those of you not sure what Chelsea’s ACL is, it stands for “Adam’s C*ck Lover.” She’ll probably get that tattooed across her forehead. Anyway, when she tripped did she fall into an 80’s video because her baggy sweatshirt and white headband seem to make me think that.

Due to the ACL, Chelsea’s mom has to come over to help her out and take her to the emergency room. I kinda love her mom. She is the perfect mix of Lois Griffin and no one else. And the fact that she’s sporting an embroidered Halloween sweatshirt and giant dangling pumpkin earrings is, well, the best thing I’ve seen since Jenelle threw a “change cup” at Kieffer in an empty parking lot. The rest of the episode for Chelsea really consists of her trying to convince everyone (her friend, her mom, her sister, and Randy) that it’s ok if she goes back out with Adam because her heart feels better. Seriously, can Leah pick up Chelsea on the way to the Geneticist and have him run a couple of tests on this garbage barrel? I mean, this whole Chelsea and Adam relationship thing is like whiter trash Audrina and Justin Bobby bullsh*t. You know it’s going to end with tears and Chelsea yelling, “I’m done, I’m done. No really, I’m done.” Mark my words. Also, bookmark this page like it’s 1998. Anyway, my professional opinion is that the only way Chelsea and Adam can have a healthy relationship is if they have unprotected sex and she has another baby. You’re welcome.

Well folks, that’s the Cliff Notes version of the show without the ugly yellow and black stripes on the cover to give you a seizure. Let’s talk more about Teen Mom and geneticists over at my Facebook page. Join me on Facebook and spread the word of this crappy site!

P.S., if you liked this blog feel free to click on the Facebook “Recommend” button that I slyly placed all over the place. It’ll help me sell out and last week I had over 500 people who “liked” this and that made me feel like I’m making a difference in the world. I’m not, but it felt like it.

61 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

IBBB Said,
Hey y’all! Fan of IBBB and these recaps? Join me on my Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/people/Patrick-Varone/1591687454

and follow along on Twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/ibbb

It’s the only way to really spread the word. Ole!

Thanks!
-IBBB
QueenofCorona Said,
Jenelle’s moustached blonde man friend is obviously Wooderson from Dazed and Confused. Hey man, it would be a lot cooler if you didn’t throw mah coins all over the parking lot. Per usual her friends couch makes me want to pour out some orange Metamucil for my grandma, RIP Bubbie.

Forrest Gump aka Jordan looks like a goddamn genius next to Keefer.

Isaac, I’d poop my pants too if I had to live in that one bedroom hole and knowing where my dad lives.

I love how Aub’s was dressed like mommy in her best Hanes mants (man pants) and hoodie. Adam seems really hard up for a place to live. Maybe he can rent out Jenelle’s backseat when things go sour.

I’m so tempted to do an online GED test at work today just to see if I can pass. Will it take ME 2.5 years?
Cara Said,
Aren’t the kids almost 2 now??? It drives me nuts that they all still walk around with bottles. And Chelsea is the worst with the juice. Her dad’s a dentist! Holy rotting teeth!! And her mom has to be a elementary school teacher with all the seasonal sweaters. Too funny.
MK Said,
“I mean, look at who she’s learning from. If tomorrow she crawls out of her bedroom wearing a blond fright wig and flirting with that rubber mouse, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t be surprised.”

I die.

And agreed about the juice…Aubree was drinking the arsenic & apple juice combo again. Oh, and can we discuss that Chelsea’s sister’s baby has an equally dumb name ending in a REE? It’s so dumb I can’t remember what it is, but I do recall making a mental note to make fun of it.
Vicky Said,
I love you like Adam loves Chelsea and like Queefer loves Jenelle.someday when I become terminally I’ll from watching this trash tv my make a wish will be spend a day watching tv with you….and out of guilt for making me watch these shows for the soul (see what I did there?) purpose of reading your blog!
Felicity Said,
Oh man. What an episode.

First of all, Leah said that after work, she STILL has to come home and take care of the girls before bed. Oh, I’m sorry, did you think that getting a job would get you out of this whole mothering thing? Well, it doesn’t. It’s so sad that she has to actually put her own infants to bed. How hard it must be for her.

And Chelsea is so hard to watch. Her hair drives me insane. Oh my god, put a barrette in. And speaking of hair, I think Brynlee (dumb name) cut Emily’s hair. That’s the only acceptable explanation. Why doesn’t anyone mention to Chelsea that she’s setting a horrible example for her daughter by letting Adam treat her like that?

And Jenelle. Oh Jenelle. I loved how Kiefer refused to go to the library with her because it would be so boring. How about, oh, I don’t know, pick up a book? Crazy, I know. And her friends seemed entirely too calm when Jenelle was screaming, “Get off me!” over and over. How nice of them. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the drugs that they’re on.

Patrick, the “ends meat” thing made me laugh for an unreasonably long amount of time. Thank you for admitting that to us. That took some balls.
funkster166 Said,
Okay if they are all so broke..why the hell do they all have 52 in flat screen TV’s? Well maybe except Janelle,,but I bet she finds a way to trick out the good old Honda. Maybe I will nominate her for Pimp my Ride.

As a side note.. I will say I live in a Mobile Home ( Trailer) and have those leather puffy couches.. I totally OWN it! The difference between me and these girls is I was not knocked up as a teen..I waited until I was older so there. Actually I bought those couches because it is easier to clean up the messes…so Leah get that damn couch clean.

Chelsea,,im sorry but I really want to slap her..how freaking pathetic can you possibly be? Seriously, instead of getting back with Adam..find a FWB,,anything is better then this douche…get a clue.
Vicky Said,
Wait! You didn’t let me finish (can I finish please?) What I was trying to say is that out of the guilt you have for making me watch these shows for the soul purpose of reading your blog you will probably gladly grant my wish and also throw in dinner at either The Max or The Lanford Lunch Box as a special surprise! I’ll keep you posted. This will probably occur either during this next season of Jersey Shore or immediately after.
Jenny Said,
Queen LaQueefer.
One of the many reasons I come back to this site daily… make that several times daily.
Brenda Walsh Said,
It’s really bothering me how far behind this show, time-wise. We are watching stuff that happened over a year ago! Based on Chelsea’s mom’s sexy outfit it was October, meaning October 2010. Honestly, what’s the point of even watching when the girls have all spilled the (semi-scripted) beans on their lives to Twitter and all the tabloids?

Also, why do all the young ladies in Chelsea’s life have children? Her sister has a kid who looks to be about the same age as Aubree, her friend has a baby, Megan (former roommate) got knocked up, and now, based on her Twitter, Chelsea’s sister is pregnant again! What is in the water over there-cause it’s obviously not birth control. Hey-oh!
snooki's poof Said,
Ends Meat? Thank you for making my day-scratch that-week.

What is the recap that got Leah all hot and bothered? I tried looking back and couldn’t find it.

I miss Barb.
Auggi Said,
they should liquefy birth control, inject it into the cafeteria foods & pump it through the water fountains in high schools.
alwayssunny Said,
when you said it looked like chelsea fell into an 80’s music video all i could think about was a-ha’s video for take on me. then i wished that somehow adam could be trapped in a newspaper for all time. and chelsea could fall into that newspaper right along with him. except that would involve at least one of them knowing what a newspaper is. maybe they could fall into a barely legible text message.

i seriously hope that the whole kail on rent assistance thing was for television. if mtv actually let her take that money knowing full well she’s about to get a “phat” check i’ll be pissed. some people actually need that, not kail.
ang Said,
brenda- what else is there to do in south dakota, it must be the thing to do. i mean on chelseas 16 and pregnant they were throwing rocks into a lake..funfun
Jenny Said,
I didn’t think your recap could be better than last week, but I was so wrong! I agree with QueenofCorona that Adam must just be deperate for a place to live.
SimplySarah Said,
I busted out laughing when Leah said “geneticist” and my husband shot me a quizzical look across the room. Also, Leah doesn’t look like a Leah to me. Let’s change her name to Tammy. Tammy Whine-ette.
Sara Said,
Is no one going to mention all the gratuitous shots of Kieffah’s bare butt? Surprisingly clean looking, being that he has to clean himself with leaves in runoff from a sewer i expected much worse.
SimplySarah Said,
Ha, Sara I blocked out the memory! His ass took up the entire car camera for a couple of seconds. Vomit.
Jen Said,
Ahhh Patrick I can’t believe I found someone else who thought “ends meet” was some kind of British meet that was too expensive for poor people to make! Like the dumb ass that I am, I didn’t find this out til a few years ago…
Kelly Said,
Until a few years ago, I also thought that “ends meet” was “ends meat”. I wish I had a funny explanation for the meaning of the phrase like you do, but I don’t. I just never understood it. I will crawl back in my hole now…
Mmmmmmmmmmmurdith Said,
Whoever said the thing about Kail getting assistance when MTV was giving her a shitload of money is right. That better be staged for TV, or I’m gonna be pissed. I was a young, single mother who needed help and couldn’t get it because of stupid laws about how much I could work and go to school while supporting myself and my child. I would have had to sell my car (yeah, you heard that right), cut back on my work hours and drop college classes to get assistance. How is that encouraging people to be self-sufficient? And now Kail is getting assistance when she’s on an MTV show and getting a PHAT check? That makes me angry.

The ends meat thing cracked me the eff up. That was soooo funny.

Is it just me, or did it look like Corey and Leah were putting their kids to bed in a hallway? I can’t figure out the layout of their mobile home. That sucker’s like a maze. And Leeeee-uh needs to clean the pigeon come off the couch.

At one point, did Chelsea’s hair look like a horrible wig? She was sitting on her bed talking on the phone. It was awful. Her hair gets worse and worse. Someone needs to stage an intervention for her hair.

And after someone does that, they need to stage an intervention for Jennelle’s eyebrows. Awful.
Mmmmmmmmmmmurdith Said,
I never saw Keiffer’s ass. There are other things mentioned here that I didn’t notice, but now I can’t go back and look for them for fear of seeing Special K’s butt.
Brenda Walsh Said,
You get to see Jenelle’s butt too! They both had serious plumber’s crack during that fight. HOT.
Amy Said,
While I laughed my ass off at the entire post-I am surprised you didn’t comment on the 2 full seconds of Keefah’s ass crack making the show!
Ashley Said,
Ok Did anyone else notice the makeshift pegboard wall in Kails “New” apartment?! And I died laughing at “That was my change jar Jenelle! Why would you do that?!” He runs after his beloved change jar while Keffah has Jannnneellleee in a vulcan death grip/sleeper hold and bean bag tosses her nasty ass in the car by her hair….I saw way more of those 2 nasty asses then I EVER needed to see thank you very much.
Barbara Ann Evans III Said,
Where’s the recap that Leah commented on? I nevahhh kneeeewwww…
thedonk Said,
same comments as above. wheres the response from leah??
Gary's Huge Belly Said,
Yes, please where are Leah’s comments? I think it’s AWESOME she saw the sight.

This recap was the best year (except for lack of Barb). I can’t imagine how bad Keefah smells. And where is she picking him up from every time she goes out and he’s standing on random corners.

AND…who pays his cell phone bill?
mamacourt Said,
Too much crack. WAAAAY too much, especially with the mic packs weighing their pants down.

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurdith, I have the same thoughts about Jenelle’s eyebrows. I was mesmerized by the fact that they mimic the exact shape of her upper lip. Disturbing and awesome all at once.

As far as WV medicine, my husband interviewed at that hospital last year for an orthopedic residency (they even showed one of the doctors on an episode last season when Ali went to see about her bones). Thankfully we didn’t have to move there. *shudder*
Dana Said,
Keiffer grosses me out so much. Do you think Janelle is finally realizing what a stupid choice she made in him? He literally has nothing to offer. No job, no home, not attractive, not smart, no ambition at all. And he looks like he smells like cigarettes, port-a-potty, week-old fumunda cheese and failure. How does he have a cell phone? And what the f is “sweepstakes”?? I thought that was the thing you entered where Ed McMahon came to your door with balloons and a huge check if you won. Do they mean OTB? I’m with Patrick on this one: They should just have a show of Janelle’s story, because you could fill and hour with just her hijinks.
rikcrik Said,
1- It’s MR-aHHHHH
2- Are those kids sleeping in a hallway? Do trailers have hallways? I thought it just goes room-to-room

Anyone catch Adam’s new hand tats?
Dana Said,
The Battle of Leah’s followers was last year. I think there was a link to IBBB on her FB or twitter and all her “friends” came on here to defend her honor and talk about what a great mother she is and tell Patrick he’s going to hell for making fun of her babies, when he didn’t really make fun of the babies, just her.
So then all the regular commenter treated the Leah-ites like they were trolls and there were shots lobbed from both sides of the Mason-Dixon line. It was like “The Blue and The Grey” all over again. I think some of them even sent death threats… scary and hilarious all at the same time. Hence, the disclaimer every time he comments about the babies now.
lav Said,
scroll thru the teen mom 2 recaps from last year and the one leah’s followers commented on is the one with like 150 comments or something like that – it’s way more than any of the others have. it’s hilarious, you have to read their comments! IBBB FOREVER!
IBBB Said,
The Leah/IBBB battle was on her beautiful and crunchy Facebook fan page. She took it down hours later, but the damage was done. I think she called me a piece of “shat.” Which she was pretty dead-on about. Either way…

-IBBB
Brenda Walsh Said,
@rikcrik I noticed and wondered about Adam’s trashy new tats. Anyone catch what they said? I thought one said Aubree, but I’m not sure.
CrackinUp Said,
I think you need serious plumbers crack to be in the middle of a white trash fight! its required and Janelle and Special K have it down.
Im sure Jace will love to watch this episode when hes older! poor kid
funkster166 Said,
@ritcrik yup them trailers sure do have hallways..mine has one but my kids actually sleep in their rooms.. If you are going to live in a mobile home..at least jazz it up a little bit. Get rid of any dark paneling and please please either rip that nasty porch off of it or put a roof on it..then again that would cost more then the trailer is worth….opps.
kas Said,
In last weeks US magazine, there is a Promo pic of all four girls. They now ALL have identical bleach blonde hair.

All of them. Leah, seems to have removed the dead animal weave thing. So, slight improvement there. Chelsea and Janelle… I don’t know why they would go blonde, but good decisions aren’t really their “thing”.
Square Hair Said,
http://www.imbringingbloggingback.com/2011/02/16/teen-mom-2-recap-so-adam-was-totally-banging-megan-right/#comments

It’s this one…I can’t believe I missed that either, WOW!!!
GiGi Said,
Just wanted to say that KIEEFAAH (Kieffer) was trending on Twitter last night!! Yes TRENDING on TWITTER, LOL. To funny.
Amazing re-cap btw the way!!! (Y’all are the best) As Leah would say ; )
GiGi Said,
Well, in her voice at least,lol
Jillian Said,
Oh IBBB, only you would drop a Baby Jessica reference! Nice play.

I knew you’d have a field day with “The Sweepstakes” Can someone please explain what that place even is???
MaryR Said,
Why in hell did I go to college, get a Master’s degree, when there are $50 apartments available? What was with the wad of gum in Kail’s mouth when she was meeting with the welfare lady? Does that gross everyone else out as much as it does me?

Dr. Houska DDS should adopt me.

Sadly (or proudly), I have the same zip up sweater Bahhb was wearing in the last scene where she was holding Jace, but in yellow.
39 & Not Pregnant Said,
Things I noticed:

Leah- thank God other people noticed the hallway sleeping. I thought I was seeing things. How awesome for those girls.

Kailyn- had an enormous Snooki pouf/ bride of Frankenstein hair thing going while eating with Jordan at the restaurant.

Chelsea- She always seems to have an enormous Starbucks type drink with whipped cream every stinking day. Expensive and fattening. I’m just jealous really.

Jeanelle- It tickles me that she is so upstanding about the drinking but drugs and other illegal things like breaking and entering don’t seem to bother her at all about Keiffer. Gotta start being a role model somewhere I guess.
Rachel Said,
I literally had to walk away from my desk at work and go into the breakroom to read this because I was laughing so hard.. The comments are amazing as well. Bravo everyone! The only thing this episode needed was more Barb!
dacabsarehere Said,
I <3 the Queen LaQueefer name. That is pure amazingness. I also about died when the whole "not my change cup" thing happened. I mean this kid literally was about to hit tears over his change cup and yet Jenelle is in fear of her life and he says and does nothing. Perhaps he was busy coddling his change cup but what the heck!?

Whoever said LaQueefer was trending on Twitter last night, that just blows my mind. Someone who can't read, write, type or even afford a computer let alone Internet service was trending on the number one social media sight. The homeless have something to work towards now …

I also recall the War of the Crunchy Curls. Your page got more hits during that blog than Gary before he flies down a flight of stairs. It was wonderful …

As far as Adam needing a place to live, what he really needed was camera time and it looks like he's about to get both.
donna Said,
guess whos getting married?catelynn and tyler set a wedding date of july 15,2013.i was excited because july 15 is my sons birthday.
Penelope Said,
I had a terrible headache all day today.

Now I have an even worse headache from my head bobbing up and down with riotous laughter.

YOUR fault, Patrick. Own it.
donna Said,
i just realized patrick you did not rate this episode.
donna Said,
i just went back and reread where the leah brigade blasted you patrick.it was hilarious!!
Eva Said,
I’m wondering if Leahs new place of employment would offer Butch and April a discount on dental implants.
Wednesdaystreat Said,
I wondered what Randylicious did for a living–nice house and endless money to pi@# away on his insane daughter–now I know. I wonder why nose ring/grandma’s sweatshirt and he called it quits? I beg of you, Daddy, tell Chels that she’s rotting that baby’s teeth. Never mind. Tell her she’s doing JUST THE RIGHT THING and maybe she’ll stop with the juice in the bottle.

I TOTALLY used to think it was ENDS MEAT! And I never got it.

I wonder who Leah does to end that whole fairy tale they’ve got going? I had the same reactions to the doctor. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? That baby is still totally cross-eyed!
Anne Said,
Good point, Donna. Where is the puffy leather couch and crunchy curls rating system?
SuzieQ Said,
Your words brings a tear to my eye.
Felicity Said,
@39 & Not Pregnant – I totally forgot about the Snooki poof on Kailyn! What the hell. Where did that come from? It made me long for the days of the side ponytail…
Donna Said,
First if all I am from west virginia, and I have to say I find your comments about west virginia funny as hell, and not at all offensive. I hate this little shit hole state so bad I’d be willing to be a live in nanny for janelle and keiffah when they have their Fetal Alcohol Syndrome damaged child, and live in the trunk of that beat up shit mobile she calls a car. And yes, the drs here are really that remedial. My daughter sees a doctor at the same place leah takes that baby and trust me, he is no better…
IBBBfan Said,
The battle between Leah and IBBB is how I found this site. I follow Leah on Facebook, and when all that was going on, she posted a link to this site for everyone to send hate mail. I clicked the link and FELL IN LOVE with this site. Seriously, I can’t get enough IBBB. =) Take that Crunchy Curls! =P
IBBBfan Said,
@Donna-
I’m from WV also. And I agree 100% !!! =)
KittyKat Said,
First off, the change cup. I just can’t. When I saw that, I laughed so hard and laughed more when you wrote about it. And your whole recap of the Keiffah/Jennelle fight is gold. Gold.

Every time Leah would say MRI or geneticist I would chuckle and think of you. Also, remember when we were all baffled as to why Leah’s mom, the “nurse”, didn’t catch Ali’s condition earlier? Well, bingo. She’s a dental assistant. I don’t even know if that requires a GED. And Leah definitely resembles her mom a little whilst sporting her scrubs. Those with that hair, she’s beating the guys with two teeth off with a stick!

Chelsea’s mom as Lois Griffin?! Nail on the head, Patrick. Nail on the head. I too giggled at her festive sweater. I wonder what gems we’ll see when we finally get to Christmas? Yay for the return of Randilicious! He’s a glasses-less, balding, with facial hair Peter Griffin. I shall henceforth refer to Chelsea as Meg.

I’m a little jealous that all of the other readers have a husband to give them the side eye whilst they watch this mess and even more so of those whose husbands say hilarious things during. Lucky skanks. (Kidding, I love all of my IBBB family)

And, to close… I have a fevah. And the only prescription………… is more Barb.
Festive sweater Said,
I know you all love the train wreck clown that is Bahb….but man oh man, she’s an abusive bitch! If Janelle wasn’t 18 yet, do you think she’d still be acting like such a Jill? I mean a see you next Tuesday? Because I call child abuse for sure! I’d beat that douchebag to a pulp if I was Janelle, seriously!!
Carling Said,
Every time I watch a Teen Mom episode all I think is “I can’t wait to read what IBBB has to say about [insert random and illogical action/statement that happens during the episode].” I couldn’t get through my work day without these recaps!