Harriet Carter Wednesday: How Smart Are Your Kids…Really?

Tired of trying to keep your kids and their slimy little fingers away from the electrical outlets?  Getting a little bored with watching them clumsily crawl aimlessly around the house?  Looking to add a little excitement to your day?  Well if you answered “I’m an idiot!” to any of these questions, boy does Harriet have the product for you!  Introducing “Creative Outlet Stickers” for your electric outlets.  Let’s just see how smarty pants your brat is (just like you always brag about to your douche-bag friends) and if they can really keep their fingers away from the cute little smiley faces that you pasted all over the outlet.  Add some extra stickers to the outlet to increase the chances they’ll light up like your fake Christmas tree when you add the cute mustache and baseball hat to it!  The whole family will be squealing with delight when you tell Junior to crawl over and “tickle the cute dog face with pink tongue.”  If you really want that puppy you’ve been begging for, let’s see if you can take care of this 240 watt dog.

Can’t wait for the 4th of July and it’s only January?  Toss a bucket of water at Junior just about the time he’s sticking the eyeglasses on his new outlet friend.  Presto!  It’s the 4th of July any day of the year!  But don’t just think this fun has to only be had with the outlets.  There are other fun games you can play with your kids too.  For example, give the glass door of the oven a kiss when you’re making a pie.  Or, perhaps, bobbing for apples in the toilet (tip: butter the toilet seat for increased slippage).  Or finally, what about the simple game of “juggle these knives?”  The possibilities are really endless!  So thanks, Harriet, for finding new and innovative ways to de-babyproof your entire home.  Ole!