20
Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sexy Sock Time
Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday on a Thursday! When there aren’t a bunch of WT teenage mothers beating the bag out of others via “the television” I like to change things up and go back to my roots which is, of course, making fun of white trash products. Enter: Harriet Carter. For those of new to IBBB feel free to browse through, literally, years (wow that makes me such a loser of Harriet Carter product reviews). Let’s give this a whirl:
Hey there sexy legs! Are you looking to really turn on your man by seducing him with some hot “sock putting on?” Do you ever feel like you don’t have enough metal around your legs on a regular basis? If you’ve answered “I’m lazy!” to any of these questions does Harriet Carter have the product for you! Let me introduce “Easy Pull Hosiery Aid.” Catchy name. It rolls right off the dehydrated tongue. As if you couldn’t be dramatic enough now you can easily step into this (more than likely) lead painted metal contraption and then somehow magically shimmy your moldy mustard colored knitted sock right up over your mangled feet and slowly up your varicose veined legs. I mean, you’ll have to beat off your husband with a billy club and rape whistle as he’s like to jump your bones as you begin to ooze all this crazy sex appeal. And, not for nothing, but I have a rule and it goes a little something like this: “When you can’t put your socks on anymore it’s time to get rid of your legs.” What? It’s a rule. Anyway, imagine how sexy you’re going to sound when you have to yell down the basement to your no-good-down-and-dirty husband, “Honey, can you bring up my rusty sock contraption? I need to get ready to stand in the unemployment line.”
I love how the description says it’s also easy for panty hose. Ok nana. You mean to tell me that the metal death grip isn’t going to puncture hole into your panty hose? Unlikely. Unless maybe you like that ripped nylon look. Maybe you’re the Ke$ha of your retirement community. I don’t judge. Why stop with just socks and nylons? Why not bring this to the next level and help pick up your bloomers or your boobs for that matter? A rack for your rack is going to be all the craze in 2019 so get into it! Thanks Harriet for combining two of my favorite things; metal and socks. Good day.
Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!
-
KittyKat Said,
I bet Gary’s mom has this. She is, after all, the biggest sex pot to be on TV in years!
-
alwayssunny Said,
speaking of gary, do you think he could use this to help him put on those magnum condoms he leaves laying around since he most likely can’t reach his junk?
-
QueenofCorona Said,
I hate it when I snag my favorite Jan Brady-esque mucous colored dollar store socks.
-
Yawny Said,
alwayssunny that is freakin funny
-
Jules Said,
Oh my lord, I haven’t laughed that hard in weeks. This is not to be read in public at work because your co-workers know you aren’t “working”.
-
katie Said,
i was also thinking about using this contraption to put rubbers on. however, i didn’t think of gary because as we all know, he uses saran wrap, not condoms.
-
KittyKat Said,
Gary only has magnums because the fat had no where to go anymore…it has taken over his willywang. And yes, he uses this contraption, it holds up his belly fat.
And now I’m going to barf into my tupperware container of salad.
-
Kat79 Said,
Omg I’m peeing my pants. My husband just had bicep tendon repair surgery and is in a full arm cast that is locked at 90degree angle. One of his biggest issues was putting on his socks and since feet skeev me out I refused to do anything with them(ok don’t go there pervs) I told him to see if they made an old people thing to put your socks on and he swore they wouldn’t. He never did tell me how he’s been putting them on but I know I haven’t seen one of those lying around the house. shudder
-
kas Said,
It’s so depressing that someone could become a Millionaire for inventing this, and probably will with the added “condom angle” from this comment section.
“I invented the easy pull hosiery/condom aide……”
-
giacomo Said,
I am confused. If you can’t get your socks on without technology, where are you going? What will you be able to do when you’re there?
-
Madmommy Said,
Patrick, how is it you never mention Cabela’s in any of your posts, it is pretty much the sister company to Harriet Carter and half of Leah and Corey’s possessions come from there. Also I am confused how this sock aid will fit over the much larger calves of most of the Harriet Carter clientele.
-
Michelle Said,
OMG, I remember those Harriet Carter catalogs! My Grandma always got them way back when…..I had no idea it was still around. Must. Get. One. YESTERDAY.
-
Michelle Said,
@madmommy, I totally agree. It looks like Leah and Corey robbed a Cabela’s (or an “Outdoor World”). White trash CENTRAL!! That place scares ME, and I live in Texas for crying out loud….haha! They even sell a camo baby seat. Not kidding!
-
Christie Said,
$5 says that’s Failure Model Chick in the picture.
-
breezy Said,
could be right Christie those are some pretty serious man hands
