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Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sleeve Garters
Oh and all of a sudden you’re the Queen of England when it’s time to wash the dishes? Well excuse me, Your Royal Highness, whilst I genuflect as you scrub caked on carcass off your meatloaf pan. Introducing “Garter Sleeves.” Garter Sleeves: Because only animals allow wet cuffs. So the next time you’re washing Fluffy in the bathtub and really working the mud out of her hoo-ha and you’re wearing your best 1988 Blanche Deveraux blue silk blouse just slap on these “attractive pearl-like beads strung on elastic” so that you look like you’ve just walked off the runway and into your mold-infested bathroom. Don’t be surprised if you hear your kids asking, “Mommy…I mean “Your Highness” have we won the lottery?” And your husband questioning, “Honey, did your boyfriend buy you that for Christmas?” Your answers to these questions would, of course be, “I’m not your real Mother” and “No, honey, my girlfriend bought these for me. Jealous?”
I’m not sure why you even need these pearl-like sleeve pusher-upers, as most real women wash their dishes topless. I’m talking boobs to the wind. Just be care not to let your money makers get too close to the garbage disposal or you’re going to need more than sleeve garters to get you out of this jam. Thanks, Harriet, for making dishes washing not only sexist but stylish too!
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Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!
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loo Said,
haha! my stepmother actually wears these! she’s a big harriet carter fan..
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allkindsofspasm Said,
freaking hilarious. you kill me every day IBBB
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alwayssunny Said,
i’m pretty sure these are just recycled bracelets from the pretty pretty princess game i had when i was little. i’m okay with that though, maybe now i can get my grandma to stop wearing tank tops when she cleans her house. thank god for harriet carter and her trash catalog!
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KittyKat Said,
I’ll consider this a late mother’s day gift to all of your loyal mom fans. You’ve redeemed yourself.
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MonkeysMomma Said,
Freaking love the Blanche comparison. Lmao.
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Carp Said,
Snot flew out of my nose whilst reading this.
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Anne Said,
Great post per normal.
Is anyone seeing or has anyone seen Kelly Cuntrone on this book tour thing she is doing?
I feel like I should go to represent IBBB. She’s in my town tomorrow. I would most definitely bring my own PLC to sit on whilst listening to her read excerpts.
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IBBB Said,
@Anne – yes please go and send her my love! Seriously.
-IBBB
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dacabsarehere Said,
This isn’t sexist. You would be styling and profiling in those garters and you know it. Every man would look dazzling at the board meeting with some pearl garters. Work it girrrrl.
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Suzie Q Said,
Alwayssunny. I think your right. My daughter has that game and it looks the same.
My grandma cleans her house in her bra so she won’t be needing these lovely gifts.
Anne please do and maybe get a pic of her stabbing the PLC? -
Kate Said,
Funny post but I am going through RHOC recap withdrawals.
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That's what she Said,
Is that Angela Bower’s arm? I feel like that’s one of the power outfits she used to wear to Wallace and McQuaid….
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QueenofCorona Said,
Is Harriet related to Clarence Carter? Looks like something one would wear when you’re strokin, particularly when someones stuff ain’t tight enough and you stick in their….WOOOH!
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Lauren Said,
OMG Queen of Corona! How do you effin’ remember Clarence Carter?! My brothers and I would watch the “Jukebox” all day to catch that video. LOL
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Penelope Said,
“Angela Bower’s arm” SPLORT!
I was just going to chime in and say that this looks very much like the first two seasons or so of Designing Women. Very Suzanne Sugarbaker while she was still slim, and among the four women they used four cans of Aqua Net Ultra daily.
I also wanted to say to all of you: “Ya smokin’ weeeeeed in da front yaaaaaaaaaaawd, Jenelle!” Just because.
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Murrrrrrrdith Said,
QueenofCorona Said,
Is Harriet related to Clarence Carter? Looks like something one would wear when you’re strokin, particularly when someones stuff ain’t tight enough and you stick in their….WOOOH!Jesus H. Christ, that was funny. People were looking at me like I had a muskrat on my head while I was cracking up in my cubicle. My best friend and I used to rock out Clarence Carter on the casette tapes, cruising in our early ’90s POS’s.
