Apr
21

Aaaaand Now I’m Ready to Comment on Leah and Corey’s Divorce

Posted by IBBB

Read More On: divorce

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Hey y’all sorry I’ve been not commentin’ on the pending divorce y’all but I can’t stop thinking and typing in Leah’s voice-overs. Anycrunch, as many of you know it has been alleged that Leah, her crunchy curls, Corey, and Corey’s hat with hanging stray strings are all getting a divorce. I have to admit I received about 13,000 emails alerting me of this news and asking me to comment. Well, now I’m ready. You really need to wait for the perfect formula which typically consists of enough trash bag and rusty dumpster dust to make the story just right. And, I must admit I’ve found it.

The drunken skanks over at US Weekly have just issued a report that I want to say contained enough comic genius to last me a week. However, since US Weekly usually bores me to Farrah’s ugly crying tears, I decided to give you all a gift and do a little cut and paste photoshopping magic and keep just the best parts and, of course, adding my favorite I Love Leah graphic. Ole!

So here’s the net-net (I have no idea what that means but I always hear people saying it), Leah apparently has moved back in with her mother and her mother’s brother husband in, shocker, West Virgina. Seriously there better be cameras rolling for this sh*t. I mean, even shoot it with a camera phone for all I care, just roll it! Can you even imagine what’s going on in that house?! No joke, they better have the geneticist (gen-et-i-cist?) doing a special observation on three of the tenants and, no, the babies aren’t included into that calculation. The best part, for me, was that US Weekly made a special note that Corey is still “in the family trailer.” The only thing that could have made that sentence better was if it ended with “ba da ba ba ba, I’m lovin’ it.” And before you send me dozens of nastygrams let me answer you question in advance; “Yes, I think I’m better than people who live in a trailer.” I totally own it.

Then, it gets better. Way better. I actually had to read the names twice because while it did say “Leah” and “Corey” I had to double check that this wasn’t an article about “Amber” and “Gary.” The divorce might be happening because Leah, allegedly, thinks that Corey has cheated on her as he apparently was “flirting with several young women at a local Dairy Queen.” I mean, where do I even begin? You know he’s all like, “Hey baby, you wanna dip your sprinkles all over my banana split?” I mean who’s flirting when you have 2 twin girls sitting in a trailer and you’re 18? It’s like the personal ad writes itself.

Then it gets betterer. The day that Leah filed for divorce, Corey was flirting with some random fan on his Facebook page and then met up with her that night at the local….wait for it….wait for it…wait for it….you guessed it….Walmart. Walmart? Really? The Home and Garden section I bet. What’s up with garbage heaps picking up ass at Wally?

I have to say I am deeply saddened if this divorce takes place. I mean, who will get custody of the puffy leather couch? Who gets the self tanner? Who gets to spend every other weekend with the slicked down bangs? Will the crunchy curls have to fend for themselves? What a world. What a world.

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29 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

shannon Said,
what a surprise to see this on a thursday morning lol

Leah is still claiming that they’re not getting a divorse but the mtv cameras were there to capture her filing her paperwork and then crying in the park with her sister. i guess she was listening to your idea of getting trashy and getting trashy fast lol

love the puffy couch by the way
dani Said,
Wal-Mart and Dairy Queen!!! It’s like they wrote this story just for you. Thanks to you I can’t read or hear the word Genetist without hearing Leah saying it or you making fun of it. What would be awesome would be if Corey got with Amber and Leah got with Gary. Gold!
Nika Said,
Some other blog had a picture of Leah sitting under a tree with her sister and a mini book of the Facebook messages. The scene just looked staged. $5 Leah, the twins, the self tanner, pink lipstick, and the crunchy bangs get back with Fire Marshall Bill ASAP. It’s so hard raising TWO babies y’all!
QueenofCorona Said,
But who will go with her to the gen, gennn, genetiss, geneticist?

Dairy Queen and blow jobs, THAT’S what West Virginia does.
LIsaP Said,
picking up ass at wally’s. too funny.
the stray strings on his bent-within-an-inch-of-its-life hat drove me nuts all season. and all that crying we had to watch.
hey, any progress on t-shirts ibbb?
alwayssunny Said,
walmart needs to start taking advantage of all this great publicity from teen mom and start up it’s own match making service. it already seems to be where all the poors meet their next bang buddy/std donor/true love/ level 3 sex offender. plus as a bonus you can buy your condoms, plan b, and antibiotics right there! i can’t wait for the e-harmony style commercials featuring amber and corey’s success stories.
Lisa Said,
That would have to be the best thing I have read all day.
Icka Said,
When will MTV smarten up and make a show where Corey, Gary, Ryan, Adam, Jo, Andrew (when he’s not modeling in China), Keiffer, and Headmaster Butch live in a house together? They can do challenges like speed toilet-plungin’ and meth cook-offs. The winner gets 7 minutes in heaven with Barb and the loser has to go prom dress shopping with April.
1981 Said,
First it was Nick & Jessica, then Carmen & Dave, Travis & Shanna, and Hulk & Linda….. I can’t deal with anymore Reality Star Divorces!

If Leah and Corey can’t make a marriage work, can anybody? This totally upsets me, you would think a strip joint would be a place to find ass not walmart….im thinking i need to monitor my husbands trips to walmart more closely these days, thanks for the heads up ; )

“will the crunchy curls have to fend for themselves?” I wonder the same thing Patrick, the SAME thing!!
Jenny Said,
I know this is not the place to say this, but I think it’s sad that they are splitting up. I thought they were a cute couple when I started watching Teen Mom 2. What’s really sad is that Corey is picking up girls at Dairy Queen and Walmart! I totally agree with your comment about trash heaps picking up ass at Wally. I was happily surprised to see your recap on this story today.
alyssa Said,
Ahhhh i love love love this! Ps thanks for putting the link i sent you about diary queen and walmart! I feel like i was apart of this lol
KS Said,
IBBB… tell us – how do WE help you obtain your dream of guest hosting The Soup. Joel McHale has NOTHING on you! Even if he has Lou The Chihuahua, I will gladly lend you one of my mutts to be your sidekickis.

“IBBB for the Soup or Bust!”
Dee Said,
the ONLY thing that could make this whole situation any funnier would be if, when the divorce papers are finally made public – YOU… yes YOU, PATRICK, would be referenced in them as bringing undue stress upon their marriage. That would be the total kicker and make it all worthwhile… Dare to dream!
haahahahahahah
Dee Said,
@ICKA regarding “When will MTV smarten up and make a show where Corey, Gary, Ryan, Adam, Jo, Andrew (when he’s not modeling in China), Keiffer, and Headmaster Butch live in a house together? They can do challenges like speed toilet-plungin’ and meth cook-offs. The winner gets 7 minutes in heaven with Barb and the loser has to go prom dress shopping with April.”

We should ALL send in their names for potential house guests on BIG BROTHER~ That would be pure comic genius and true quality television, no???
dacabsarehere Said,
Icka … o that was good. meth cook offs? prom dress shopping with april? you know if the prize is 7 mins alone with babs, patricks gonna be looking for a sign up sheet.

i’m glad you finally addressed the mess that is leah’s life. i’ve been waiting for your take on all of this. i just want to know why the show had to be over with before it got interesting? like now, i want to set down for an hour and watch crunchy curls cry …. about corey, not about sad medical problems. geez.
Jennifer Said,
This is why I read your posts. I’ve been in a dating slump and couldn’t figure out why but now I know, I haven’t been hitting up my local Dairy Queen or Walmart. Recently separated dads of twins living in the family trailer here I come!
Natalie Said,
“And before you send me dozens of nastygrams let me answer you question in advance; “Yes, I think I’m better than people who live in a trailer.” I totally own it.”

THANK YOU for this gift. Walmart and DQ – I AM lovin’ it!
Little Suzy Said,
Friend, I’m proud you were able to work through your varied and strong emotions on this issue to bring us this important post. I do hope you realize that we are all, ALL, waiting with baited breath to see how the custody battle for the puffy couch is resolved.

It’s a shame when a piece of quality furniture gets caught up in the middle of a personal issue.
IBBB Rocks! Said,
Family trailer=1 step above a van down by the river
julie Said,
And before you send me dozens of nastygrams let me answer you question in advance; “Yes, I think I’m better than people who live in a trailer.” I totally own it.

^Love you for that! Maybe some of the stupid kids who watch this show, love Leah, and therefore want to follow in her footsteps will see how stupid she is.
H Said,
What do they DO at Walmart? Is there something to do at Walmart besides shop? I feel like I’m missing out on something.

I don’t understand redneck, so half the time I don’t even know what Corey is saying.
Alexis Said,
You know they met up in the lawn and garden section…it’s usually the farthest away from the deli. Barb was less like to sense a disturbance in the force and barge over there, “Where the hell are your babies, Cory? Did you leave them with your mother so you could paaahhhty your ass? This girl is trash, she’s just bringing you doooowwnn….to your knees in the DQ paaahhhking lot.” Maybe she would have got him court ordered counseling before Leah caught on. Season 2 of TM2 is def. going to be interesting, that’s for sure.
Alexis Said,
Oh, and if they can’t work through him flirting with other girls…they shouldn’t have gotten married because that’s not even a legit reason to divorce. She looks more and more immature with every move she makes…
QueenofCorona Said,
@ H, good question.

If I remember, Amber met her freshly paroled meth head in South Pole armor in the Wal Mart parking lot as well.

And I think Big Gary met a fine gal there in the diaper section as well, causing Amber to officially lose her shit.

I know our Wal Mart has a Subway and Cost Cutters inside so maybe Cory treats his dates to a $5 footlong and a couples pedi by an old girl.

If the trailers rockin, don’t come knockin.
That's what she Said,
Of COURSE it was in the Home and Garden section….he was looking for a rake and HOE!…..HEY OH!
KittyKat Said,
@Queen of Corona–WV obviously does DQ quite well (look at Leah’s mom) but given the high teen birth rate, the BJ’s probably don’t happen too often. And a footlong and pedi @ cost cutters?! Dream date.

@LisaP– I made a pretty sweet tshirt design and shared it with Patrick. Ball = in his court!!

@Icka– I would sign a letter begging MTV for this show. Winning! The only way to improve it would be to do a mock sister wives. Where April, Barb, Janet, and Suzi are all married to Darl.

This comment section is CRACKIN’ me up!! And I guess I need to start doing a different kind of shopping at WalMart being I’m a single mom in a rural area. I remember my band teacher in high school telling us she met some of her best friends in “Wally.”
Suzie Q Said,
Corey did his mom for that trailer for Leah and those girls and she just ups and leaves at the first site of a three some in the garden section at Wal-Mart? Anyone else wonder if there trailers met up on the side of the highway so Leah could toss the kids and their belongings from one porch to the other? I hope MTV caught that one.
Mmmmmmmmmmmurdith Said,
You know what’s funny? Sometimes these 16 and Pregnant or Teen Mom people post stuff from their “fan pages” on Facebook talking about this impending divorce, and all the little teenage girls get their panties in a wad talking about how great Leah is and how much these people deserve their privacy and how this is all NOT TRUE because Corey and Leah are such a great love story. Of course, everything’s spelled wrong and barely understandable, but it’s soooo funny to egg them on. Seriously, if you’re bored, try it sometime.
Laura Said,
YOU are HILARIOUS!!!! I LOVE this BLOG! and Mmmmmmmmmurdith, SOOOOO TRUE!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!