Mar
30

Teen Mom 2 Season Finale: Arrested! Engaged 19 Times, Prostitution Whore! Oh, Wait.

Posted by IBBB

Read More On: teen mom 2 recap

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What a sad night around the offices of IBBB. I’d like to end this season with a snippet of a song I’d like to dedicate to Barb. Please sing to the tune of Ebony and Ivory:

Barb Evans and IBBB live together in perfect harmony
Same old blue shirt and my keyboard, lil b*tch, why don’t we?

I would please like to stop the song now, as I’ve realized that the only parts I’ve ever known to Ebony and Ivory are, in fact, just the first two lines. Now that all that awkwardness is out of the way let’s get to our final recap of the (burp) season.

Jenelle – Well let’s just say that the first 3 minutes with Jenelle are action packed. First off she sneaks into Barb’s backyard and hides behind some randomly placed fence to call Kieffah because she misses his charm, smarts, and wit and wants to be with him so, Mr. Disrespectful there, invites Jenelle to come on over to the all brick beach house to stay with him. Oh yeah, there’s one little catch. They’re not allowed to stay there but they’re doing it anyway. That is until the cops come at 2 in the morning and arrest Jenelle for three things: 1. Breaking and Entering. 2. Marijuana Cigarettes Overload. 3. Being a Little B*tch of a Daughtah (it’s a real crime). Little did we know that they came to arrest Kieffah too but he wasn’t in the house. Instead they found him oddly up the street. I envisioned they caught him on that grassy knoll that Jenelle usually picks him up at (and drops him off at…and is also the “sometimes” location of their dates).

With Jenelle’s one and only call she can make from the slammer she calls, you guessed it, Barbara Ann Evans III. The best part was that Jenelle was all upset and saying she was arrested and was in jail and Barb very matter of fact says, “Oh. What are you doin’ there?” Um, making license plates? That would have been my answer. So let me get this right, Jenelle spills water on the couch and Barb is legit ready to call the cops on her, but when she is actually in jail, Barb doesn’t get worked up? Dear Jesus Claus me gusta this senorita.

Jenelle claims that she’s done with Kieffah (probably because he ditched her and ran frolicking up the street when the cops came) and Barb lets her know that she can come home, BUT if she is ever with Kieffah again she’s out of the house for good (empty promises). She’s spending a lot of time arguing with Jenelle on the phone. I thought you only got like 60 seconds for your jail call, no? Barb ends the conversation by abruptly exclaiming, “I gotta go to work, goodbye.” Whereas she should have simply stated, “I gotta slice a wide variety of deli meat so let me go so I can change into my blue shirt that smells like salami and pre-made potato salad.”

Later when Amber picks up Jenelle at the slammer-lammer-ding-dong, we learn that Kieffah wasn’t, in fact, sitting on a pile of grass up the street but at his friend Joe’s house. Joe Mama, I wonder? Anyamericaneagle, when the cops found him he was drinking and snorting coke and, apparently, Jenelle was surprised about this. I bet he bought it from Grandpa Mike. Just a hunch.

There may have been some fancy editing going on because one minute Jenelle is in her car taking a call from Kieffah with his request to spring him from the clink and next thing you know she’s back on the Barb’s glorious front porch waiting for the beating of her life. Luckily when Barb got home she was sporting her blue shirt, perfect for the last episode, and then she informed Grandpa Mike that Jenelle was arrested last night. He, too, didn’t seem phrased and just said, “How’d she get out?” He seem disappointed she wasn’t on death row. Moments later Barb had me in butterfly stitches when she was asking about Kieffah calling her to get bailed out and she just says, “Oh, was he all hiiiiigh?!” Good old Barb. Friend ‘til the end. She then continues on asking Jenelle repeatedly if she’s had an “awakening.” Personally, I’ve had an awakening. It was called episode one of Teen Mom 2. She then kindly asks Jenelle to not get arrested again by simply stating, “No more jail time, please, ok?” Yes please. And thank you.

Next up, Jenelle is on the phone with Barb’s Discovaaaah caaaaahd to find out what the balance is and she let’s Barbie Girl know that she is going to pay her debt, go to school, and (say it with me) do the right thing! Barb, in true form and grace says, “I know you think I’m this majaaaah, majaaah, majaaah b*tch as a muthaaaah” and then she starts to cry. I assumed she was crying because she finally realized she has misplaced her “r’s” in over 98% of the words that she uses but, nope, she was crying because she says to Jenelle that she thinks that Jenelle really doesn’t love her and doesn’t care about her. Poor Barb. This made me sad. Me gusta Barb and you all know it. Barb doesn’t need Jenelle she has me and I’m never high/high. I mean, I’m drunk over 75% of the time, but I assume Barb is too. We can be codependent together! It’ll be great! Jenelle ends up lifelessly hugging it out with Barb to end the scene. I’m sure Grandpa Mike is beating off in the corner, that sick son-of-a-f*ck.

Now that one full day has passed, Jenelle is really starting to miss Kieffah again. However, Special K is still his cellmates boyfriend right now and Jenelle won’t bail him out. She says she’s pissed that he left her in the house and is doing coke behind her back. That’s code for, “I’m pissed you didn’t share the coke with me.” She ends up talking to Grandpa Mike out on the front porch and tells him how much she still loves Kieffah because they’ve been together for 5 straight months. 5 months? Really? Wow! I bet in some states they’re technically considered married. And you totally know that this conversation just simply taking place, somewhere in aisle three at Walmart Barb must be twitching and throwing herself into convulsions. At least Grandpa Mike and his oddly placed teeth give Jenelle some good words of wisdom which consist of forgetting about Special K and remembering that she has a son and should be spending time with him. My blackened heart wants to believe that Jenelle is smarter than this, but my eyes and TMZ, sadly, tell me otherwise.

To continue her season long spree of horrific decisions (horrific: meaning, things that a whore would do) Jenelle decides to bust Keiffah out of the slammer. But first she goes to Amber’s Section 8 trailer and foreclosure (with dirty torn up mattresses on the front lawn) to see if she and her friend, Ben, want to come with her. As F’d up as these two seem, they’re actually trying to be the voice of reason with Jenelle and they, like Barb, are letting her know that Kieffah is bringing her down. But, alas, they decide to go with her to pay the bail bond. What a disaster (see: disastaaaah) this is. This poor schmuck, Ben, is signing the bond because he’s the only one that is 21 yrs old and when he signs it it basically states that if Kieffah doesn’t show up for court then he, Ben, owes $2,000. Jenelle says she doesn’t think that Kieffah, the drifter, would run from his court date. Yeah, I don’t think so either. I also don’t think that Devil Dogs make you fat. Ben, of course, agrees and they end up getting Kieffah out of jail. We get to witness Jenelle kissing and hugging him and then when the camera is in her face she’s like, “I’m still mad at you.” I mean, she is going to give him 2 full weeks to change so I’m sure it will work out just fine. And when Barb catches wind of this there will be hell to pay and I’m hoping she doesn’t take her anger out on the honey ham sliced thin!

I actually found myself shaking my head when they were walking out of jail and saying out loud, “what a shame.” I’m not sure what’s more of the shame, though, Jenelle and Kieffah or me dedicating my life to recapping all of this. I’m a majaaah, majaaaah, majaaaah losaaaah!

Leah – “Hey y’all it’s almost my weddin’ day and I’m gonna be getting’ me married, but I’m still scay-yaaard.” I put on a pair of running pants and a beer stained ripped wife beater to really class up my participation at Coonskin Park. I also ran outside to see if I could find a squirrel outside that I can strangle and bring as my date, but that’s another story for another time. Anycrunch, Leah and her friends are all going to get their nails done at some 1970’s stripmall and I’m almost certain that Farrahs’s hairdresser friend from Teen Mom 1 is the one doing their nails. Leah’s friend, Blah Smith, is letting her know that her hands will probably be really sweaty when she and Corey are holding them together on the alter. Oh. Seriously, someone bring that chick to the geneticist, STAT.

At the rehearsal, in which apparently you can just wear jogging pants and other applicable J. Lo jumpers, Leah’s mother looks like she’d rather take a DNA to see if her husband is actually, in fact, her brother than take part in this practice session. And why do they both look like moles? I’m going to need to you all to work with me on this one, but remember that kid a few seasons ago from American Idol whose dad used to tell him he was worthless and he sang “Take a Look at Me Now” and then tore off his glasses and threw them across the stage and then got voted off the next day? Well, yeah, they both look like him. What? I didn’t say that reading this recap wouldn’t require you to think. Sometimes you have to work for it. Like a prostitute at a carnival.

Leah and Corey decide that the night of the wedding they’re going to stay in separate houses trailers because, you know, they’re traditional. Like having a set of twins when you’re 17 when you’re on the rebound…then putting it on national television…then breaking up…then getting back together…then moving into a trailer…then getting engaged on a fishing boat…then getting married. You know, traditional. Like in the Bible. Well, the Bible Volume II: Moses Boogaloo.

That night whilst Leah is in bed with her sister who is technically the color orange, Corey ends up calling and they both talk about how nervous they are about getting married. They’re even putting together some plan on what to do if Leah needs some emergency panties and how they’ll be delivered to the trailer. Huh? By the end of the conversation Leah jokes and says, “What would you do if I ran?” To which Corey responds, “Like…away?” No Corey, she meant what if she ran up the aisle and then around the alter like a Chinese fire drill. Dummy.

Hey y’all it’s finally the day of the weddin’! Looks like the geneticist will have to wait. All the women in Leah’s house are getting their hair done by Corey’s mom. Apparently Leah’s mom won’t be partaking in the hairspray party because she has to go and set up the “reception hall.” I guess the balloons and tin cans with string aren’t going to set themselves up! Also, I just noticed that Leah’s stepdad is named Lee. So let me get this right, it’s Lee, Leah, Ali, and Aaliyah. Awesome. Keep it simple and keep it often.

We’ve finally all arrived at Coonskin Park (shoot two guns in the hair and spit in a tin bucket) and Leah’s mom actually cleaned herself up nice. I mean her bangs aren’t fried and her curls don’t make her look like she was just electrocuted whilst having adult intercourse with a goat, but still, nice. Although she didn’t clean up her grammar because she actually said, “Does my legs looks orange?” I actually said, “Oh Jesus” when I heard this. And why does everyone need to be orange? It’s like Oprah came out and shouted, “Everyone gets a spray taaaaaaaaaan!”

Now it’s time to insert the camo into the camo wedding. Corey and the guys are all getting into their tuxedos in a filthy bathroom on “the grounds” and are buttoning up their camo vests and straightening their fluorescent ties. Why are some ties green and others orange? Is it like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles type of thing? All I know is that I’m having a seizure. All the guys end up taking awkward photos while randoms play golf in the background. At one point they all pick up Corey and try to place him on their shoulders because, you know, that’s a picture that people will want to look at over the years.

Corey’s dad ends up having a special private talk with him…and a camera crew…and “the America” and even gives him some old knife that was really special to him. I thought it was trying to tell Corey it wasn’t too late to kill himself in the woods, but apparently his dad just really liked that knife and really wants to give Corey that knife. Personally I really think it was a hat tip to me and my love for wanting to knife puffy leather couches. Maybe they’ll acknowledge that during the reunion show. After some words of love from Corey’s dad Corey seems less than into the conversation and ends up saying, “Thanks for, like, raising me and stuff” and then he finishes the conversation by saying, “Let’s get a drink.” Awww, just how the Hallmark cards end!

Leah has to get into her broken down Honda to drive over to “the hall” with her wedding dressed all bunched up in the front seat. At least she has enough room to text. As the wedding starts up and the girls are walking up the aisle I notice that everyone actually looks nice, but they’re all holding these random autumn leaves wreath-type-thing with a battery operated Christmas candle (turned on) in the middle of the wreath. Huh? They should have used real candles and perhaps the twins could have lit the matches to get those candles going and then we could have just watched to see what happened next. Just me?

The ceremony continues and Corey starts doing the Farrah “ugly cry” as soon as he sees Leah walk up the 2 second aisle. Later, Leah literally starts laughing out loud what she has to recite the part about “for richer…for poorer.” She probably knows the writing is on the wall as they’re getting married at a place called “Coonskin Park” and they end the night with Corey carrying Leah over the threshold of their legit trailer. I was embarrassed.

I have to admit that I was a little bummed there wasn’t more footage of the reception. I mean, I didn’t get to see any obese women doing the electric slide or any drunken aunts grinding with the deer head on the wall. What a jip. We didn’t even get to inspect Leah’s wedding dress for orange spray tan smears due to excessive sweating from the Marcarena. Oh well.

Kailyn – You know whose scenes were a complete snooze this 90 minute episode? Kail’s. And, yes, I did say 90 minute episode. I was seriously pissed. It’s like one last kick to the nuts while I try to recap this junk. The whole thing basically is around Kail and Jo waiting to go to mediation so that can get a custody agreement in place in case Janet wants to sell the baby on the black market. Fine, I made that last part up. We are blessed, however, to get one last scene with Suzi who is sporting yet another hair color. Bingo, for those of you playing at home. She continues to give Kail some words of advice and to my absolute shock Kail actually thanks her for being there for her this whole time. Sometimes it’s good with Suzi is off the sauce and sometimes it isn’t. It is for Kail, but it isn’t for me. That’s how that works.

Over at Jo’s house, he’s actually being very calm about the whole future mediation date. Almost too calm. High, high, yaw both high. That probably explains it. Janet, on the other hand, is looking fetching in this episode and a little disheveled all at the same time. She lets Jo know that he has to get along with Kail because she’s in his life…for life. For life? Hooray! I love a life sentence with the Cowardly Lion. Que suerte! (Janet knows what that means).

Meanwhile it’s “date day” with Senor Sports Authority and so they go to a place where there are painted bricks on the wall and where Kail is allowed to rock her Snooki poof. They end up fighting over how people greet each other in Spanish. Is this conversation actually taking place? I oddly find it more enjoyable than watching Jo do dead-pan in his kitchen. Kail ends up trying to explain the custody agreement to Jordan and he looks like he’s trying to figure out how to split a check between a group of 10 people when 2 people didn’t drink and 3 people got dessert.

It’s finally mediation day! We’ve been waiting for this for a while now and they end up going behind closed doors where cameras aren’t allowed. MTV should have done a claymation interpretation. All I know is that while they were waiting in the waiting room they kept playing really sad music. I picture Suzi dancing slowly to this music in the background. The guy in charge of the mediation, when he comes out to greet them, just looks at the baby and is like, “Is someone gonna take care of him?” I would have been like, yeah that’s what we’re here for, Schecky. Hey-oh!

In the end, it seems like mediation went well but when Jo mentions that in 5 years if he wants to add a day to his custody agreement and Kail denies his request a fight ensues. He, per usual, calls he a piece of sh*t and says that she’s absolutely nothing. She, per usual, says that she’s going to college and therefore is going to get a better paying job than him. They continue their fight all throughout the parking lot lobbing insults to each other left and right. I wish Kail had her side pony-tail at a time like this. It makes me nervous when she doesn’t. These two are the worst. It could have been more interesting if they ended the season with Suzi and Janet wrestling in a pool of Jello. Maybe next season.

Chelsea – One more to go. If this was the Boston Marathon I would officially be at Heartbreak Hill. I’m actually wrapping myself in an aluminum cape, dumping Dixie cups of water over my head, and eating orange slices. Enter Chelsea. She and Aubree are both sick and so Chelsea decides that she wants Sushi to make her feel better. Her dad, who loves the camera, brings it to her and she feeds it to him with chocksticks. Creepy. And who wants sushi when they’re sick?! I bet it smells like Megan’s underpants. While sexily feeding each other sushi, her dad ends up texting/sexting Adam that if he doesn’t get his car he’s going to have it towed. So really he texted him? Why didn’t he just pass him a note during homeroom? More on awkward text messages between Adam and Chelsea’s parents later.

It’s also almost Aubree’s 1^st birthday so Chelsea and her friend are going shopping for birthday decorations. To no surprise, Chelsea wants a theme of leopard and pink. Awesome, a sluts birthday theme! Trash it up, garbage bag. Again, like Corey’s dad giving him a random knife before the wedding, I feel like this leopard theme is a little shout out to me and not just because I, too, am a slut. Oh, and while all this is going on Adam’s OJ Simpson white Bronco is being towed out of Chelsea’s driveway. Ruh-roh! Adam is going to be so pissed I bet he’ll barely even remember to take his shirt off.

More boring things happen, but I’m in a trance over Chelsea’s mother. Does she now have a tight red perm and a nose ring? What in the F is that? She’s making Suzi look tame. Chelsea’s sister is in town to attend the 1^st birthday and I pretty much think that she should write for this here blog because I definitely get the vibe that she hates Chelsea. She even brings up the fact that when Chelsea gets back with Adam she typically throws it in everyone’s face. Also, none of these siblings look like the parents at all. I must look into this. Maybe they’re all sister-wives to Randilicious?

Well it’s finally the day of the birthday and there is leopard slut gear everywhere. The cake was kind of cool though..like, cool in a way where some topless skank would jump out of it and shake her knockers…yeah like that. Randomly, Adam is texting Chelsea’s mom asking her about the birthday party. Why? Why is he texting her? More importantly Chelsea’s mom looks like Lois Griffin and most importantly Chelsea and all her friends are the color of Ernie.

After the party is over Adam comes over to get his car and motor but it’s gone. He knows it’s not there because he’s in the garage looking for it and throws the baby carriage out of the way (don’t let those pesky things get in the way). Seriously, he’s looking for an automobile. It’s not going to be hiding behind a baby carriage. Chelsea sends her male friend to go see what’s going on and so he’s peeking at Adam through a slightly opened door and then Adam comes in the house and that kid looked like he was going to Shasta McNasty in his skinny jeans. He asks Chelsea where his car is and Chelsea wont tell him. Great! I figured she would have been like, “Are we back together?” Of course, Adam has a fit, calls her a b*tch and walks out of the house. They end up locking the door and Chelsea’s friend looks like he’s about to take the second sh*t when he’s trying to get that damn door locked. Adam is left outside trying to figure out how to get his car back. At no point does he wish Aubree, his daughter, a happy birthday.

Unless Cheslea gets married to her dad next season, I’m not interested.

Well that’s that. On a serious note, in which I’m already giving myself secondhand embarrassment, I’d like to thank all of you for such a great recap season. The comments have been just as much fun as the recap. We’ve been through a lot; civil wars, attacks from Leah herself, hate mail, death threats, and the like. I mean the point is that even with all this I’m still not writing for The Soup. I mean, what the F. Seriously the world better not really end in 2012 or I’m going to be so pissed that I might end up not knifing some puffy leather. Yeah, I’m that mad. So thank you again to my long time readers, those who are new, those who found me from “the Google,” and the power mommy bloggers from BabyCenter, TheKnot, TheBump, TelevisionWithoutPity, TheNest, BargainHuntingMamas, SnottyKisses, CafeMom, and everyone else. It’s been a blast seeing this crapbag site all over the place. I definitely have the best readers in the pop culture blogosphere and appreciate all the Faceobook “likes.” It actually surpasses most all other blogs, including Perez (maybe you’ve heard of him). I sincerely thank all of you and you should know I mean it because I just bolded the word “sincerely.” You’re welcome.

Episode Rating: 1 old mugshot, 1 new mugshot, 1 Barb beat-down and, of course, 1 crying Farrah

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Be Social: Join Me!

109 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

Kortney Said,
You came to mind when Chelsea said she wanted leopard print for Aubree’s birthday party. LOL Just because she like it, doesn’t mean Aubree does. Hilarious.

I’m a country girl myself, but I can’t believe how hillbilly Leah and Corey’s wedding was. It was definitely tacky.

I hope you continue to blog on the new 16&P. I look forward to it every Wednesday!!
IBBB Rocks! Said,
Thanks for the earworm! I’ll be humming that little diddy throughout the day at work today!
LIsaP Said,
i had to stop reading this six times before i just tightly covered my mouth so i could finish. i know i shouldn’t read this at work, but i simply cannot wait. omg, moses boogaloo. this is so much better than the soup. ibbb needs its own special 1/2 hour.
sara Said,
Great recap to end the season! There were so many moments from the finale to highlight, glad you covered the best ones!!
tracy Said,
the return of barb’s blue shirt!!

and seriously just how fantastic was barb, when she went from “because he was too FRIIIGGGGIIIN high??” right into her housewives of beverly hills routine with “now lets have no more jail time” in her ultra polite and cultured voice?

i expected her to be holding a limoges teacup with one pinky lifted delicately in the air.

and word on chelsea’s mom. wtf was that? mormon-mom-mini-mullet, early 90’s glasses and a big ass nose stud. i could not stop staring at her. i rewound three times to look at her.
IBBB Rocks! Said,
I also need to add that Patrick, you are the wind beneath my wings. Don’t ever change… no matter how many death threats you may receive.

Can’t wait to start a new season of Sixteen & Pregnant with you!
Dana Said,
No footage of the reception, but a nice shot of the newlyweds leaving the ceremony via the back hallway amidst the garbage cans. Keep it classy, Coonskin Park!

Seriously, With the exception of Leah, these girls are all awful! Chelsea is a spoiled, useless brat, kailyn is an unappreciative snoozefest, and Jenelle is a complete lost cause. When a man who can’t figure out how to work a toothbrush is the voice of reason on parenting your child, you know you’ve got problems.
joe Said,
These recaps are unreal. Haha. Love every second of them. What did Leah say to you? I’m dying to know? Glad Chelsea finally got rid of Adam. How she was ever with if him is beyond me. This show fits the age old stereotype. Douche guys get all the girls. Well since the girls are on trashy teen mom then I guess they deserve each other. What a shame. Haha.
IBBB Said,
I wish there was more Barb in this crapisode…I don’t love how she was so tame and I don’t me gusta when Barb cries. It was the same tears from 16&Preg when she said, “We gotta come to a middle, heeeah, Jenelle.” Sad/sad high/high.

I’m ready for the Amber/Farrah/Bint-Lee season to start up. When Jesus Claus, when?!

-IBBB
MB Said,
Yes what did Leah say??…I missed it!!
Eva Said,
Thanks for the great recaps. I have laughed every Wednesday morning reading this blog. I cant wait to see what April & Butch have been up to. Bring it on MTV.
painfultowatch Said,
Why was Leah sharing a twin bed and spooning with her girlfriend the night before her weddin? That was just odd.
I’m so pathetic. My two kids need breakfast but Mommy has something she has to read.
alwayssunny Said,
you should give yourself a vacation for getting through this season of teen mom. maybe a nice trip to a trailer park in west virginia or a scenic tour of the north carolina coast while staying at mike’s “beach house”. thanks for making me throw away hours of my life watching this show so that when i read your recaps they’d be that much more satisfying.

also, i’m proposing a new talk show which would be like the view, but would have all the teen mom’s moms as hosts. janet, suzi, barb, debra, april, and leah’s mom (whatever the hell her name is, probably leeann since her twin brother/husband’s name is lee) could be very entertaining. debra would ask the hard hitting questions, april and suzi would sit in the corner and get high/drunk, barb would sit there yelling “high, high, yawww both high!” janet could do her fly girl routine to end the show (and be my favorite, obviously) and leah’s mom would show us beauty tips. make it happen, cap’n!
Sara Said,
Maci did some random interview with some random college and said their season was starting up in June. And the countdown begins.
dacabsarehere Said,
for those of you familiar with the character “sandy” on spongebob, the little texan squirrel? well, anywho, everytime i read the section about leah i cant help but mentally say it in the voice of sandy. “hey y’all, whacha doin’ spongbob, wanna head out and shoot sumthin” just me? weird, i know. i’m so happy this season is over. not thrilled to hear we have to endure a whole new set of misfit moms but excited to know we’re getting closer to the original moms coming back. so the season started well with barb, i really thought she was going to save the whole show but i’m so over hearing the same crap about throwing her out, no more chances, kieeefah sucks, jenelles a horrible motha … der, duh and done. we get it. kail? sucked when the season started and sucks just as much now. chelsea? well, the highlight of that was her saying she wanted a leopard pink party theme for his daughters birthday. i guess she wanted it to match her mis-matched hair and entire household decor. blah blah blah. no jershey shore, no teen mom, oi vey. thank goodness, andy cohen never lets us down.
jenn Said,
@painfultowatch…i think she was spooning with her sister, which crosses the line from odd to creepy. Same goes for Chelsea and Randilicous feeding each other sushi. I almost had to change the channel…almost.
Dana A. Said,
@ painfultowatch – Yayyy you mentioned the spooning! I think that was her sister, but yeah that was awkward!!

Why do all of their 50 yr old moms (Chelsea’s & Kailyn’s) have nose rings? That is not cool!! :/

I was so mad at Jenelle and Barb the WHOLE episode! I was like screaming at my TV every time Barb would forgive Jenelle JUST for her to turn around and mess up again! I think when MTV is not filming them that Jenelle, Barb, and Keiffah all lay up in that ghetto ‘beach house’ and do coke together because they are messed up in the head baddd! LoL
Vicky Said,
“we’ve been through a lot” Gosh IBBB you know just what to say to tug at my heart strings!

So now that you have had two shows end and you’re probably finding endless amounts of free time on your hands, how about jumping in to recap Sister Wives?? Please??
Jenny Said,
I loved the recap and hope you will be doing this for the new season of 16 & pregnant. I am going to miss Barb! I was also surprised that Kailyn actually thanked her mom.
April (Not that one) Said,
I just wanted you to know that I found you through the Weight Watchers Message Boards. You can add that to your list of fame.
KittyKat Said,
This episode had me cracking up many times simply because of this blog. It was like the edited it just for you!!
Please tell me you’re recapping the reunion (of this AND Jersey Shore) because Jenelle threatens to walk of stage by proclaiming, “I’m just about done. With filmin’” LOL Probably because Dr. Salt n Peppa Drew smacks the crap out of her. BTW, he was on Nancy Grace last night discussing the whole “Jenelle beats the bag outta some chick with a major FUPA” And Nancy Grace was asking him when innocent children, who their mothers think can do no wrong, become monsters. So amazing.
Kiera Said,
Yeah where would Kieffah go? It’s not like he has family living out of state…like New Jersey. I wanted to throw something hard at my TV when that idiot Ben signed away $2k.

Oh and Jenelle had NO clue that Kief’s a coke head….righttttt!
Jo (not that POS) Said,
I have been stalking the blog for a while and just want to say, I woke up my two sleeping cats from laughing so hard at Leah and Chelsea’s recaps. And I totally screamed BLUE SHIRT BARB last night and thought of this.

Can’t wait to see 16&P recaps…oh and BTW, IBBB? A Maci fanpage on FB says that Bint-Lee and company are coming back June 20th. Take that with a grain of salt though.
Kiera Said,
Loved the name of the salon that Leah got her hair did. ‘Head Hunter’s Salon’ Nice, that’s so inviting, so chic…so haute.
katie Said,
i almost fell of f*ck off my chair when chelsea fed randilicious. then i started to look a little closer at aubree, and i realized that short of her stoned eyes, she looks nothing like adam and everything like randy. don’t get me wrong, its great for a girl to have a loving relationship with her father. but inbreeding crosses the line.
“Mom, i’m in jail.” Barb: “what are you doing there?” hands down, best line of the whole season. i’m never deleting this episode from my dvr, just so i can watch that segment whenever i need a good laugh.
and wtf was up with leah wearing brown shoes with her wedding dress? i think she thought she was matching the rest of the wedding party, but personally i think it just looked trashy.
i felt so bad for aubree having to endure that ridiculous birthday cake. holy jesus claus, she’s 1…….i think a cake with elmo wearing a leopard print tux would have been better.
Tara Said,
Your blog brings me to tears every week! Love it!

Did Leah really come on here though? What happened?
Kiera Said,
“drunken aunts grinding with the deer head on the wall”

bahahaha! I can totally get a visual on that one. That’s what happens when moonshine is used instead of champagne.
shannon xoxo Said,
luv luv luv how you made the pictures at the top be a giant W.T. I’m guessing it’s for White Trash? You sir are brilliant beyond words LMAO
Leah Said,
Love it! When I saw the fake candles last night I just knew you would have something to say about it! Can’t wait for next season just to read the blog.

P.S. – PLLLLLEEEEASE start recapping Sister Wives!!!
Me Said,
Anyone notice the dog collar hanging off the review mirror of Coreys friends truck? Klassy.

“Mom, i’m in jail.” Barb: “what are you doing there?”…said like Jenelle was calling from Walmart.
I will miss you... Said,
I am saddened to see this season end simply because I won’t get to read any more fantastic recaps for a while!
I loved the Chinese fire drill idea for the wedding.
I also cannot believe that you did NOT mention Chelsea feeding Randilicious a piece of sushi.
Those two BETTER get married…
Tara Said,
“i will miss you” re read, he did mention it… O.o
UESwifey Said,
This whole season Chelsea’s dad reminds me of Brittany Murphy’s dad in Girl Interrupted. Someone should check for chicken bones under her bed. Creepy is right.
Lisa D Said,
Bible Volume II: Moses Boogaloo! OMG that was awesome!

Do you crack yourself up when you write this shit?

Way to be IBBB
Mandy Said,
FYI- You can see more of Leah and Corey’s wedding reception on mtv.com under the Teen Mom 2 Bonus Clips.
IBBB Rocks! Said,
I just read over on Reality Tea that Amber and GarBear are moving to LA!

Now that would make for an interesting show.
B Said,
Things I love about Teen Mom 2 & IBBB:

1. “She says she’s pissed that he left her in the house and is doing coke behind her back. That’s code for, ‘I’m pissed you didn’t share the coke with me.’” YES! I was totally thinking the same thing when she said that.
2. Oh my gosh! Leah’s mom and step-dad TOTALLY look like that American Idol contestant. I know exactly who you’re talking about. Brilliant!
3. So glad you mentioned Corey’s Farrah’s “Ugly Cry” and the random knife giving. When they said “For Richer, for Poorer”, my husband said, “Probably, for poorer.”
4. It was so creepy when Chelsea fed her dad sushi. I felt really uncomfortable watching that.
5. I laughed out loud when Chelsea said the theme of the party was Leopard print. I knew it would be highlighted here.
6. Previews for next week’s “Check-in with Dr. Drew” reveal Chelsea might have gotten back together with Adam. Again. Ugh! Won’t she ever learn?

@Kiera – Yes & yes! Can’t believe that moron co-signed on Kieffah’s bond. I kept saying, “No, no, no! Bad idea. That’s really dumb.” And the Head Hunter’s Salon is almost as great as getting married at Coonskin Park.
Felicity Said,
As always, fantastic recap. One of the best. I can’t even pick a favorite part.
Felicity Said,
@Kiera and B – Me too about the bond! I was literally pointing at my TV saying, “No, don’t you do it. No. Bad.” What a moron.
kamir Said,
PLEASE blog the next season of 16 and Pregnant.
Lo Said,
Ok, from now on I’m going to think of Kieffer as Mr. Disrespectful there. Awesome.
Penelope Said,
I agree with everyone else: please blog the next season of 16 and Pregnant.

You know, before last night, sushi was my absolute favorite food. As in, I could eat it every day. As in, a large part of why I have visited Japan three times on vacation.

However.

Having seen Chelsea say “Soooo..sheeeeee” in that marble-mouthed way of hers, followed by her feeding Randilicious some of her “sooooo…sheeeeeee” with chopsticks, has made me turn my back on Japanese cuisine entirely.
Steph Said,
I love love LOVE that the title from this is also mocking The Real Housewives of NJ (btw that comes back in May I hear yay!)

This season had so many problems. Most of them being Jenelle. Ugh she drives me insane she needs to think of her child and not so much Keefer Reefer.

And as for Chelsea feeding rando sushi, sick and awkward. Like seriously who does that? I don’t see how someone would want a creepy relationship like that with her father ew..

And Kail just looks like a bobble head to me so I don’t pay too much attention to her and I hate Jo he’s such a douche..

As for Leah yes please what did she say to you?! I wish she would do a shout out for you haha well her trying to insult would be a great shout out for your blog and then maybe you could finally get on The Soup especially since Joel McHale just signed on for longer! Fix it!
Suzie Q Said,
I think I counted Kail saying Thank you 2 times this episode and I was shocked. I think she is reading this and finally learning that manners matter.

I can’t keep saying how trailer Leah is, but holy house on wheels. She keeps feeding white trash to the camera.They got married under sticks and branches and didn’t even dress it up with some flowers from there local dollar store. Anyone else notice that they don’t have walls on the deck? MTV please give them there money now.

I think Mike and Babs had a bet on how many more times Jenelle could get locked up again before season ended. I am glad she won’t be homeless any more though. She should have a good few years in Kitty Kat Manor. At least she can’t get pregnant at that time to leave more babies to Babs. Anyone have the flash back every time of Babs saying, Jenelle just givvvve that babbbbby up to someonnnnne that will waaaaaaaaant him.

If Adam would have said I love you lets get back together Chelsea would have tossed all them people out faster then Randilicisous had his truck towed. Her male friend hauled ass out of there after Adam left. I laughed but part of me felt a little bad that he looked like he was dropping deuces while he was trying to get the door locked.

IBBB when your wish comes true and you leave us for The Soup what will happen to your site? How will we get our IBBB fix. Your like a drug and we are all addicted.
Dee Said,
a few more of my favorite moments from last night’s show…
The stepmom’s hair salon named “HEAD HUNTERS” LMAO
I, personally, would have opted for BLOW AND GO….but hey, whatever.
Also, Corey’s statement “We’re frickin’ married” – deep thoughts by Jack Handjob?
I was impressed that they managed to clean the countless number of black trash bags off their porch before he carried her inside… I guess the WHITE TRASH shall remain…
Great blog – better than the show…Love it!
Dee Said,
ohhhh and Kail leaving baby Isaac to play with the dog and LAUGHING when she finds him eating dog food???
WTF?
These girls are beyond warped – but thankfully…they brought us YOU hahahahhahaha….
Jessi Said,
I’m going to miss reading your blogs every friday morning. I honestly got to the point of watching the show thinking, “ohhhh yes, what will he say about this!?” Like last night, When Chelsea sent her man-vagina friend to the door. Ahhhhh. IBBB, I’ll miss you and Barb’s sweet sweet blue shirt.
Sarah Said,
Excellent recap…thank you for noticing that Leah’s mom and stepdad look like mole people….they totally do and I could never pinpoint exactly which animal they looked like! Hilarious.

PLEASE recap 16 and Pregnant AND please recap the “Dr. Drew Whatever-It-Is Special” next week!
Susie Said,
Thank you IBBB, for your awesome blogging! Your page is one of three tabs that comes up when I open my browser. That’s right you’re my Numero Uno source for pop culture news. (Sorry Perez…) And honestly, even though I totally love The Soup and everything Joel McHale, if I had to pick between this blog and his show, you would win hands down.

you have a stand-out fan following because you are a stand-out blogger. Seriously. Take your 16 and Preg/Teen Mom franchise blogging. The girls make for super easy targets and while many blogs and bloggers tease and mock them relentlessly as a result.
You on the other hand combine your razor-sharp wit with ample amounts of empathy. From a distance, the show provides us with absurdest humor at its finest and you get that.
You also get that the people we’re seeing are young kids trying to figure out really difficult, at times unwinable, situations. Many blogs don’t seem to acknowledge that; you do. You step back and give credit where credit is due and weave genuine compassion into your side splitting commentary.
You may not have been asked to host “The Soup,” yet, but IBBB and the blogger behind it are equally great.
So, thank you, for this season of TM2 and every other entry on this page (I’ve read every last one). I look forward to seeing what’s in store. I know it’ll be great.

P.s. Shall we start a grass roots campaign to get E! to give you the friggin’ gig already? Just say the word. I swear to Santa Christ and his teen mom Mary, that it will put Obama’s campaign to shame.
Susie Said,
Also do you accept loyalty oaths? I would very much like to become a faithful subject. I would also be willing to join a cult if you have one of those. If not are you accepting resumes for groupies?
IBBB Said,
Thanks all!

@Susie – thank you for the insanely kind words…very much apprciated

-IBBB
Lisa Said,
Can we talk about the fact that Leah and her bridesmaids appeared to have not showered before the wedding. Good luck to Corey when she pops open her gentleman greater that night!
frenchfille Said,
You are the Reffah to my Kieffah. I can’t quit you. That is all.
Lifes2short4heels Said,
I don’t think Chelsea has taking a shower all season. She just cakes on more bronzer and eye shawdow and mascara without wasing lasts nights make up off. Her hair is atrocious. And she wants to go to school for hair dressing? Also how about take your kid to the Doctor or when your sick stop kissing her on the lips and feeding your dad from your chop sticks to keep your lovly lady germs from speading. And Chelseas favorite thing to do next to being massively annoying is bringing up a subject to her friends or dad slash ♫secret lover thats what we are ♪) and soon as someone answers her or agrees with her she replies ……..OkAy !oKaY! YeAH! I dOn’T wAnT tO TaLk AbOuT iT aNyMoRe-AHH!
Btw IBBB It’s like Oprah came out and shouted, “Everyone gets a spray taaaaaaaaaan!” Classic =) I love it as always A+++Blog!
Joel Mc Hale (THE SOUP) Said,
@Susie…… how much did Patrick pay you for all those suck-up awesome words, I totally agree with you and then some.

Stay safe and carry a big, big, big stick.

PS: I am sending Patrick his contract for 2012
Felicity Said,
@Lisa – I totally noticed that, too! I kept thinking, no, she’s going to go get in the shower, right? Right? And she never did. Straight to the hair salon. Gross.
Allison Said,
@Lifes2short4heels I don’t think Chelsea has showered all season either. I also don’t think Kail has washed her hair all season, I kept waiting for Jo to put her in a headlock and wash her hair in the kitchen sink. Watching Mr. Disrespectful parade around in that A&F hoodie for what felt like 47 weeks no one should shop there ever ever again.

IBBB thanks for incredible recaps
Penelope Said,
I have long thought that the thing that smelled the LEAST fishy during that entire series was the sushi that was fed to Randilicious.

Damn, I bet all of those cooters just smell like the trashcans at the Pike Place Fish Market. I mean, come on. Jailhouse Jenelle? Leah, who didn’t bother to bathe on her wedding day? Chelsea who looks so damned dirty that if you hosed her off in the back yard Randy pays for the city would condemn the land as a Superfund site (or Sephora would open a downscale off-price Bronzeteria for other teen moms who want to be that tan but don’t have a Randilicious paying the bills)? Kale who looks like the last time she took a shower was three days before Baby Ziggy burst forth from her cooch? Nasty girls.
Natalie Said,
I too got the impression that Jenelle was just pissed he didn’t share the coke w/ her. She wasn’t mad he was doing it, she was mad he did it w/out her. Also, when she said the cops caught him up the road, I too pictured him sitting on the “grassy knoll” where she picks him up all the time!

Leah & Corey – The wedding turned out nicer than I thought it would, at least what they showed of it. But her immaturity showed when she laughed thru most of the ceremony. I think Corey wasn’t into the father/son covo w/ his dad because he was trying too hard not to cry. “sob, Thanks, fer, sob, ya know, hiccup, raisin me an stuff. sob, choke, cough”

Chelsea – The whole sister wife thing may not be too far off. The more I see of Chelsea and Randilicious’ relationship, the more unnatural it seems. Who feeds their Dad sushi?? Gross! And the way he interacts w/ all her friends like he is one of them is sad. Plus, I am not sure if the mom and him are still together or not, I don’t think they have ever shown them in the same room?

Kailyn – Janet’s hairlip was extremely obvious in this crapisode.

IBBB, IBBB, IBBB. You are so way funnier than that two toned hair guy on The Soup, (Joe Hale?). He is so insignficant I am not sure of his name. We HAVE to get you on there! I think all we need is for Barb to give you a shout out at the reunion, to get your name on TV. I can see why you get more readers than Perez – his dog is funnier than he is.

Much Love to you! Keep on keeping on…..
Crazy Cat Lady Said,
OMG I google’d “american idol contestant take a look at me now” and found Scott Savol or Scott Soval. Whatever, but I get it and its hilarious.
Kat79 Said,
My 2 cents but my guess would be we didn’t get to see the reception because of all the underage drinking. I’ve been to a few white trash weddings with the bride and groom underage and no one seemed to care about legal drinking age but I’m sure mtv didn’t want the flack.
megan Said,
@lisa leah had to of showered after she went to bed bc she went to bed with curls and makeup and woke up with straight hair with no makeup.
Courtney Said,
I giggled throughout the episode just imagining what treasures would await me here on this wondermous blog.. and I wasn’t disappointed! I’m sad the seasons over, only because I want more Jenelle/Barb drama. I literally had my fingers crossed that Ben wouldn’t co-sign Kieffah’s bond.. but he let me down. What would be totally awesome? An Intervention episode starring Jenelle. Oh I can just imagine the golden nuggets of pure comedy out of Barb’s mouth for that one. Can’t wait for the reunion show and I really hope you’ll be recapping that one. Thanks for making otherwise boring Wednesdays so much more enjoyable. I look forward to much more to come!
QueenofCorona Said,
I find myself holding my breath when Jenelle and her friends appear. They just all look like they smell bad and are in need soap and a hot shower.

This is horrible but I can see why they’d need a geneticist with Leah’s mom walking around. She just looks like she’s rocking an extra chromosome or two. Nobody ask her who’s special.
Denise Said,
Great recap, as always. Barb is a Goddess, in my eyes, and I have give her a pass on the psychotics that ensued when that bitch-of-a-dawtah Jenelle spilled milk on the sofa. Milk STINKS to high heaven if its not cleaned up and we can’t have the palace of Babs and Grandpa Mike smelling sour, now can we? Jenelle was just being a lazy cow in that scene. Babs: 152, Jenelle: 0 Viva la Barbara.
Rayyyychel Said,
IBBB,

It’s like you’re inside my head, you manage to put my every thought about TM2 into words. I had to stop reading twice at work, because I didn’t want people to think I was mentally unstable. When you said Chelsea’s friend looked like he was going to “Shasta McNasty” in his pants, I lost it.

First off, Kail… boooooring. Except Janet was back this episode, and I realllly noticed her mustache. I knew that something was bound to happen, because Jo was being entirely too calm about the whole situation. But the moment between Kail and Suzy was touching.. kind of.

Jenelle… What a mess. I, like everyone else, laughed when Barb asked about Kieffah being “too hiiiiiiiigh…” That Ben guy should NOT have co-signed on that bail bond. Come on, Mr. Disrespectful is not exactly dependable. Barb should’ve put her ass on lockdown right away. I will miss Barb and her blue shirts, and Grandpa Mike and his missing teeth.

Chelsea.. GAG. Who the hell wants sushi when they’re sick? I don’t even want it when I’m well. And never have I ever ever fed my dad any kind of food, that was just incredibly creepy. Did anyone else notice that in the beginning when Chelsea was whining about her and Aubwee being sick, that Aubwee’s pajamas totally changed when Chelsea’s mom picked her up? Way to be consistent, MTV. I love how Adam was throwing those strollers across the garage, such a great dad.

And finally, Leah.. It was so weird that she was spooining with her sister.. If I tried to do that with my sister, she would call me a weirdo. Her mom just lacks all human emotions, so I was shocked to see her crying at the wedding. I laughed out loud at Corey’s “Farrah ugly cry” when Leah walked down the aisle. Her bridesmaids dresses were actually really pretty, but kinda clashed with the neon green and orange ties that the guys were wearing. And of course the Christmas candles.

I can’t wait for the reunion special. Maybe Dr. Drew will go upside Jenelle’s head and tell her to stop dating all these guys who are loooosaaaahs!

Please please pleaseee recap the new 16 & Pregnant episodes.. And yayyy for the return of Bint-Lee!!

IBBB, you are a comic genius, and if The Soup doesn’t give you at least a guest-starring role, they are all friggin hiiigh!
Amanda Said,
Please start selling IBBB t-shirts. I would totally buy one.

Possible slogans: “Patrick is my hero” “Anytan”

I’m just sayin’…
The Other Jessica Said,
Everytime I see these girls I go into a “Bumpitz!” hair infomercial tornado… Chelsea! Bump it! Kailyn! Bump it while out with Jordan! Janelle! Bump it! From prison! Leah! Bump it in camo!

Please, pretty please, can this Bump It hairstyle go away?
Dena Said,
Was Kail on this episode? I didn’t notice.

I was waiting for a stripper to jump out of the babies cake at the 1st birthday party.

I fell asleep before the wedding. HOW? Not before the hair was done though. Or the wedding knife was passed down. I think it was a shout out to you.

I could go on and on about Jenelle and Barb. Mostly, I will miss them and you every Wednesday.
Vanessa Said,
I think it’s funny that if you flip over the W and rearrange the letters is it T.M. … Which would be….. W.T.(white trash) = T.M. (Teen Mom) ahhahahaha
tracy Said,
oh yeah! totally agree with the poster who mentioned isaac with his hand shoved into the dog cage. i literally snapped out of my kail coma and screamed at my tv. good lord.
Bri Said,
I love the rating…”one old mug shot” “one new mug shot”…u are hilarious and have the best recaps. I read all your recaps, even if I don’t watch the show…F’ing hystercial, that’s what you are!!! Keep it up!
kelly Said,
Are you recapping the reunion next week? I hear that theres a big outburst on stage from Jenelle…and Barb will be there too!
Christine Said,
I thought Leah looked absolutely beautiful at her wedding.

Half of the people who comment on here made Patrick out to be a total dick for commenting on Leah’s baby having problems, then the same people come back on and make fun of Leah’s dress and her wedding? Really?

Why would you all defend a baby with a possible syndrome then make fun of all Leah’s wedding? She was beautiful and so was her wedding. Why is no one commenting on how perfect her hair and makeup looked? Im sorry, but I thought she looked really good and married a really good guy. It makes me really sad to see how noone cares about Cory and her. They are going through a lot and everyone makes fun of them.
LIsaP Said,
t-shirts!!! what a great idea amanda.
MB Said,
Has anyone noticed how Chelsea walks with a limp?!
IBBB Said,
Oh I am definitely recapping the reunion show as this really adds value to my life. If it wasn’t for this I’m sure I’d be in the fetal position on the regular.

Also, please note that I do not have more traffic than Perez…just, on average, more people click “like” or “recommend” than his site. Not that it matters, but it reminds me what kick-arse readers I really do have. Also, if I did have his traffic numbers I would basically ONLY have ads on this site and I’d recap the ads.

Ohhhh how awesome would t-shirts be?!?! Let me start looking into that!

-IBBB
Felicity Said,
@ Christine – are you serious? Who’s making fun of the way Leah looked? And we’re not here to talk about her hair and make-up. We’re here to laugh at people that put their lives on television and then make idiots of themselves. Geez, I thought that was obvious.
IBBB Rocks! Said,
So I watched again last night and did anybody else pick up on the bloody pelican beak on that statue in the front of Barb’s house?

I couldn’t help but wonder if it was the leftover DNA of one of Jenelle’s previous punching bags.

Felicity, you are spot on! This site is definitely for snarking. If somebody wants a big hug fest they might consider reading elsewhere.
Barbara Ann Evans III Said,
Maaahhhhryyyyyy me youuuuu little bitch of a bloggahhhh!
katie Said,
here’s a suggestion christine……..don’t read this blog. no one on here is going to leave a comment about how perfect someone looked unless they are being completely sarcastic. if you want to see encouraging words, better check out a fan site
Ashley in NC Said,
Wow, 80 comments and counting!! I have been with you since the beginning of the Hills and am so happy for you! Can’t wait to hear your stuff on The Soup (it will happen)
IBBB Said,
Ruh-roh I hope another civil war isn’t starting, although I kinda do. I. Kinda. Do.

@Christine – yes she did look good. I think I mentioned that some people did look good…maybe I didn’t. Although I think it would be kind of boring if I wrote like:

“It’s the day of Leah’s wedding. She looks beautiful. I’m so glad the sun was shining. We are all so lucky that this girl got pregnant when she did or we may not have a television show to watch. I love television. I love you.”

I could say all those things, but it’s not what I’m thinking in my pathetic mind as I’m watching the show. So, therefore nevertheless hereto moreover whereas, I stick with the horrific thoughts that enter my mind. I have problems. Big problems.

However, I do thank you for your comment. It’s nice to have a variety of opinions in the comment section…seriously. Friend me on Facebook. I love you.

-IBBB
Gina Said,
I was kind of sad that Barbara wasn’t bustin her balls this episode.
Suzie Q Said,
IBBB Rocks I noticed the bloody beak. Maybe it was to show Jermelle to show what really happen to Jace daddy.

I don’t want to read about how pretty someone is. We have eyes and our own opinions. Yes she looked pretty during her wedding but when she woke up in the morning I felt a little bad for Corey to wake up to that on a daily basis.

I thought it was Issacs cage and food on the ground? I mean it is a little rude to put your baby in a cage and feed it dog food but she is really stressed right now and can’t afford a playpen. Should we judge?

I want a shirt. Not some over rated crap Perez shirt either. Something good. Something Raw. Like IBBB on a tractor pushing Leahs trailer into the river. Or IBBB on a tractor picking up Jenelle from the pen with Babs love words at the bottom.
Suzie Q Said,
Also I am on board with harassing the E studios to get you on The soup.
Elizabeth Said,
@Katie (wayyy up on the page, sorry, I just got to watch last night and had to read through each and every one of the 8326 comments…not complaining, I loved it!): I have also thought that Aubree looks nothing like Adam and wayyy too much like Papa Randy. She even has his receding hairline, no joke! Their relationship is unreal. He pays for her house and everything in it, he pays for Chels and her gal pals to go see Lady Gaga, and brings her sushi on a whim?? That relationship is all kinds of effed up.

Also, Bible Volume II: Moses Boogaloo?? I could not stop laughing, and I’m at work which makes it real awkward. Now I’m going to toot IBBB’s horn some more (hey-oh!) and say that this was the best recap evahhhh and I don’t know how I lived without you before I started reading during “Da Hills” days. Please make t-shirts! There are so many great quotes, it’s hard to choose just one, but if just a few could say, “I’m Bahhhbra’s B*tch of a Dahhhtahhh,” it would make my life.
Penelope Said,
I would totally buy a t-shirt. Make mine say:

“Yah both gettin’ hiiiiiiiiiigh out heah!”
KittyKat Said,
Tshirts = YES PLEASE. But they must be blue. And only blue. We can call it Barbara Blue!
April Said,
The hubs and I suspect that Chelsea’s “mom” is really Randalicious in drag!!! Drink! We never see them together in a scene…
Old School Woman Said,
IBBB, great recap. Leah & Cory: Yeah, I thought I would die of laughter when the wedding was held at “Coonskin” Park and the salon was called “Head Hunters”! Also, what was with the brown shoes? Maybe because everywhere they step is muddy so this way it wouldn’t show on her shoes, LOL. Kailyn: BORING!!!! She truly is getting on my nerves. Not a fan of Jo’s, but what was the big deal that he said maybe later on when Isaac is older he would like to keep him until Monday morning and take him to school. She has him the whole week and probably could use the time to sleep or study (she’ll still be in school by then, believe me she’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer). It’s as if all of a sudden she is creating drama. Is it because she is not getting as much on camera time as the other girls and wants to add this unnecessary drama to make sure she gets equal time? Enough of her and her boring boyfriend Jordan. Chelsea: I said before that her and her dad creep me out (Randilicious?), now feeding him sushi? CREEPY! Why is her mom all of a sudden in the mix, barely saw her all season. Leopard print theme for a baby’s party? How about Elmo, a princess, Mickey Mouse, she’s one-year old for Christ sake! Glad Randy’s car was towed. Did anyone else notice he opened up the garage on his own. Is it always unlocked? Does he still have the keys to Chelsea’s (Dad’s ) house? He threw Aubree’s things around like nothing. You know, the baby he misses so much and wants to see, yet never asks for her or about her, just his car and motor. The scene of Chelsea looking at pics of her and Adam after everyone is gone proves she still wants this idiot back! Give this numbnut a brain transplant. I saved the best for last Jenelle: What can you say. When you think she can get no dumber she proves us wrong. So after being locked up and allowed AGAIN to come home with the stipulation that she gives up Special K (love this name you gave him) and starts doing the right thing or she will be kicked out and won’t see her child, she sneaks out to bail this idiot out! Stole her mom’s credit cards and promised to pay the bill but wants to get money to bail him out. She is willing to risk being homeless and unable to see her son for him. She is the dumbest broad of them all! As far as I’m concerned she’s done.
1981 Said,
I would totally buy a shirt. Womens size S please and thank you
Jenna Said,
This is what I would like to see if there ever comes another season of TM2:

Kail: Jo gets hit by a bus. Janet fights for custody of Baby Isaac, and Kail agrees only if Janet agrees to feed the baby a strict diet of dog food and dirt. Janet leaves Eddie (Is that even Jo’s dad’s name?) and makes Suzi her new b*tch.

Chelsea: Adam gets hit by a bus. Chelsea goes to work for a tanning salon and marries Randalicious and they live happily ever after with Aubwee (And Chelsea knocks off the whiny baby talk crap- that drives me insane!).

Leah: I actually like Leah, and I really hope they make it to the geneticist and find out what is going on with Ali so she can have every chance possible. Although I could do without all of the gunked on eyeliner and crunchy curls…

Last but not least, Train Wreck… er, I mean Jenelle: Keiffah jumps bail and gets hunted down by special guest star, Dog the Bounty Hunter. Baby-Daddy returns from “modeling in China” (is that code for prison porn star?) wearing Barbalicious’s blue shirt. Jenelle gets kicked out, let back in, gets kicked out, etc. Grandpa Mike reveals himself as one of those rich guys on that Secret Millionaire show and Barb becomes a contestant on Bridalplasty after Mike proposes. They ride off in a carriage into the sunset with Baby Jace while Jenelle chases after them screaming “It’s my baby, not yours!”

Seriously, I love this site and look forward to reading these recaps weekly and will really miss them. PLEASE recap Sister Wives!
Jenna Said,
Please let Dog the Bounty Hunter track down Keiffah when he jumps bail!

And PLEASE recap Sister Wives.
Dani Said,
Sorry if this has been brought up before, but did anyone notice that Adam walks like he has potatos in his ass?
Janelle's Lifeless Stare Said,
Is it just me or does anyone else find themselves now saying “on the regular” way too much in everyday life? Also, the suggestion for t-shirts only in Barbara Blue, yes please!
Cait Said,
When was Chelsea feeding Randilicious sushi? I didn’t remember it and just went back and watched that segment again online and it wasnt there?
Cait Said,
never mind i saw it this time. i must have been distracted by Randilicious’ receding hairline
joe Said,
The Sushi thing is a bit weird but what’s even worse is the fact that randilicious texted Adam about the car. Then Adam texts Chelsea’s mom. Seriously u can’t do business over text. It’s like calling about a job instead of going to the place to talk about the job. Makes zero sense. U guys aren’t in high school anymore. Get a friggin clue. Reunion is gonna be good. How Randy stays in the same room as Adam is beyond me…
KittyKat Said,
Just put an ultra trashy, cheap Tshirt design on Patrick’s FB wall. It’s totally winning in Barbara Blue!
Eva Said,
Dani LOL FUNNY.
Little Suzy Said,
IBBB I would totally read your all-ad recap site. Just out of good faith.

Can the t-shirts be (c) Harriet Carter??
Alana Said,
WHITE TRASH and REDNECK we can call that horrid wedding. Seriously I was embarassed. Leah waiting in the “kitchen”? And I always ask myself: Corey is a man? He’s always crying!!! Dumbf*ck
Savannah Said,
I don’t know if anyone else has read/heard this and shared it on here or not, but a few weeks ago I read in ( I believe it was US weekly ??) that Chelsea’s friend Megan was pregnant and I read it again some where after that. Just thought I’d mention that because on one of the earlier blogs, you said that Megan had to get pregnant while on the show. Apparently, she did.
Joanna Said,
Joe-Actually, Cheslea still technically IS in high school….she’s still workin hard on that tough GED!
Brooke Said,
I love that you not only are hilarious, but also use proper grammar. Win win.
Summer Said,
Patrick – keep up the great work! I love your blog!

Have you thought about recapping Ruby on the Style Network?
Dana Said,
They didn’t show Leah and Corey’s reception because it’s going to be featured next season in a very special cross-over episode of CMT’s MY Big Fat Redneck Wedding!
Carrieann Said,
vLLs70 At last, someone comes up with the “right” ansewr!