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Here’s How I Envision It…
By now we all have seen the footage that the drunken skankbots over at TMZ have of Jenelle beating the bag out of some chick on her own front lawn. Now if you forget who Jenelle is, she’s Barb’s little b*tch of a daughtah. Sure, I could just run the same tasteless video that every other site has been running but since I’m a toolbox-garbage-heap mix I figured I’d like to show you how I see the fight going down…if I was casting and producing. Walk with me, talk with me, do poop with me.
Be Social: Join Me!
Narration Inspired by Barb:
~ Oh what did Mr. Disrespectful there put you up to this, Jenelle? He’s such a losaaah! You always go for these loooooosaaah’s like Andreeeeew. What aaah you gonna hit me? Jenelle I’m gonna call the cops and then yaw gonna be outta here. That’s it, yaw done.
~ Lawdy hallelujah you just knocked my blue shirt right off my body, Jenelle! Grandpa Mike, where the hell aaaah you? Jenelle is goin all 6’s and 7’s on my ass. Where’s Jace? Jenelle just don’t hit me in my aaaaaahms because I need ‘em to slice the honey baked ham sliced thin at Walmart. Come on Jenelle, leave me alone I’m the assistant supervisaaah for the weekend shift.
~ Well aren’t we havin’ a la-da-da time! I know this isn’t the best time to bring this up or nuthin’, Jenelle, but YOU KNOW WHAT? You haven’t been a paaaaaarent to this baby since it was bawn! Yaw like the worst piece of sh*t mothaaah evaaah since, like, me!
~ Ya know, Jenelle, don’t think yaw goin’ out Friiiidaaaaay! Why the hell am I still on the ground? Yaw punching me and I’m out bustin’ my baaaaalllls, makin’ minimum wage, tryin’ ta survive! You don’t care about anyone but yaw God-damn boyfriend. Where is Kieffah by the way? And where the hell is my Disovaaaah caaaahd?
~ We ahhhh so white trash. That’s it, I’m callin’ the cops and then yaw nevaaah gonna see this here baby again. We’re goin’ to court. And why the hell is Farrah here?
End scene.
See? Now wasn’t that more fun than watching the video? I think so. Although in my ending, Barb would have won the fight. I mean, in my world Amber and Gary would be fist fighting on the neighbors lawn and Debra would be there poking at them with her trash claw. Oh if I could just run the world. One day.
Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!
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Sarah Said,
I love the crying Farrah! I read the who thing in my Barb voice.
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Dee Said,
once again…BAHAHAHAHAHAHA…I love this!
I am still pushing for a cage match pay-per-view between Bahhhbrahhhh and Jenelle. Now that would be money well-spent, no???
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Dee Said,
once again…BAHAHAHAHAHAHA…I love this!
I am still pushing for a cage match pay-per-view between Bahhhbrahhhh and Jenelle. Now that would be money well-spent, no???
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Dee Said,
sorry, don’t know why that posted twice
Maybe I am channeling Bahhhhbraahhhhhh and saying everything multiple times. LOL -
KittyKat Said,
LOL Making light of a horrible horrible thing. I hope Jenelle get some serious punishment for this shit. What a drain on society. The only reason I’m thankful for Jenelle is because she brought Barb into our lives.
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Murray Said,
So this is what you’ve been working on all day? Thanks for the LOL…couldn’t come at a better time! At first glance, I thought the couch was originally there, your photoshopping skills are improving
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KittyKat Said,
Sidenote: Does anyone else absolutely LOVE Keifah’s last name? Delp. lol I wanna hear Barb yell, “And you mistah Keiffaaah Deeeeelp, Mistah Disrespectful. Yah high. Now give me back my discovah cahds. Ya piece of gahbage traaashbox.”
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katie Said,
gawta hand it to jenelle….she’s a scrapa’. in my mind, i like to think that jenelle got her fighting skills from her mother. more than that, i like to think that’s how barbara moved her way up the corporate ladder at wal-mart……..by round-housing the previous deli manager and anyone else who stood in her way of getting to that silver meat slicer.
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Alyssa Said,
Love the flag in the background…so patriotic. Future of America right here folks!
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dacabsarehere Said,
what did this chick do to her? give kiefah a place to live? i bet amber is plotting another nekkid photo opt as we speak to top this motha. they should just give amber and jenelle der own show call it something like “sloppy punchers on welfare”. you’re right tho, no play by play would be complete without the blue shirt.
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Marlene Said,
What a skank. She’s gonna get her ass kicked one day. Hope that is as published as this.
Love the pictures, bahahahaha. -
Melissa Said,
Patrick I thought you would get a kick out of this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9hsY4oiB5s
Loved your version of the fight, LOL!
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IBBB Rocks! Said,
IBBB was the first place I thought about when I read this yesterday. Bravo! on the most excellent play by play.
Mother of the frigging year Jenelle!
I want a cage fight with Jenelle and Amber. I still can’t figure out which one of these trashbags would come out of it but I’d pay to see it.
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Me:) Said,
i nearly peed my pants with the why is farrah here comment then i looked up and saw her face, lol you are the best
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Katie Said,
Did you read follow-up articles on TMZ? The girl Britany said she has “a bite on her breast”. I’m not an expert on cat fights or anything but I’m pretty sure that’s the female equivalent of a kick to the nuts.
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Suzie Q Said,
Got to give it to Janelle for thinking outside of the box. Maybe she was thinking ohh It is time to feel that breast looks about right? Did anyone see Keifah cheering her on? I am pretty sure it is the crying Farrah face. The “Britany” said she won’t be pressing charges. Someone feeling guilty??? Was it a homeless house? Or a bus stop? Or did Janelle really call a bunch of people and say you wanna be on TMZ? I love how she throws her first punch so freely with her flip flops balancing on her foot. How did she concentrate on two things at once? I for one think she should get a standing ovation for that one. Looks like that little b*tch of a daughtah won’t have to worry about a place to stay with her jail record climbing. I am glad Jace gets to see footage of her, It will be his only memories of his mom out of jail.
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Anonymous Said,
Hahaha! I agree with Katie!
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ALF Said,
The crying Farrah but me over the edge! Awesome.
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ALF Said,
The crying Farrah put me over the edge! Awesome.
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Dani Said,
I could hear Barb’s voice perfect in my head when I was reading this. Yikes, the things that nightmares are made of. Just gotta love how the bystanders are egging the fight on too. Classy.
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Dirty Darl Said,
I didn’t know white trash like this actually existed somewhere.
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Jenny Said,
Downside: That video was disgusting. What is happening to this world??
Upside: This post is the funniest thing since your last post! Love you
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frenchfille Said,
I can’t even muster something humorous to say. That video is disgusting and she is trash of the genuine variety.
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That's what she Said,
I’m pretty sure that’s how Wayne used to beat up Kevin on the Wonder Years.
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LIsaP Said,
i agree with dirty darl. i just cannot believe it.
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Suzie Q Said,
Oh Snap crackle pop, “The Britnay” filled charges. Janelle got herself another mug shot and a place to stay for the night. Maybe we can see her on Tru Tv living at the prison washing peoples chonies. Christmas may come early for us all.
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Laine Said,
who was that other chick pushing Jenelle at/on the other girl? SHE is the one who should get punched in the face repeatedly.
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Heather Said,
Laine – I was wondering the same thing. Some girl with long brown hair keeps running in trying to push them together and you can hear the rest of them saying stupid shit in the background to try and get them to fight. Do they have laws against things like this. Not exactly ‘inciting a riot’ but….
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carrie Said,
Look at TMZ today. They all got busted for this.
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Rayyyychel Said,
Were they fighting over Kieffah?? What a loosaaaah!
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Old School Woman Said,
I am so sick of this BROAD, and of those who fault her mom. As a social service worker I know many children who are products of abusive foster homes, crackhead/methhead/heroin addict moms that have risen above it and made a better life for themselves. What’s her excuse? She smokes weed all day long, with her no-count boyfriend and then smokes it on her mom’s FRONT PORCH with HER CHILD in the home? She VALUES the so-called love of her boyfriend (the idiot who also egged her on for this debacle) more than her OWN SON? I have no respect for this IDIOT! Take her A-S to jail and let her LIVE a REAL REALITY SHOW!
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Sara Said,
As much as I love all of these trashy shows, I have to be completely honest…this video was extremely disturbing! Janelle is a crazy trashy bitch and I hope that Barb keeps full custody of Jace!!!
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Amber Said,
There is too much awesome in these pictures, I can’t contain myself. Buaha!
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kiki79 Said,
OMFG!!!!! **dead**
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Ash Said,
Did anyone else notice the awesomely fringed white boots being carried around? Fantastic. Janelle, for all her faults, can dole out a beat down when its called for. You know, like when you get pushed into some girl by a nasty bitch. Twice.
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Beth Said,
This is seriously disgusting. I feel sorry for that poor girl. Even if she had won, those other girls would have jumped all over her. Poor thing. Janelle is a huge bitch and a sorry excuse for a mother. I’m immensly glad that the little bitch who was instigating this fight got arrested as well.
