Mar
02

Teen Mom 2 Recap: High, High, Yaw Both High and Smokin’ Weeeeed in Front of My House!

Posted by IBBB

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Jenelle – Lawdy hallelujah and we’re off! Times they-are-a-tough for Jenelle and Kieffah, the Lucy and Desi of our generation, because even though Jenelle got her financial aid check and is working it’s still not going to be enough to rent her Barbie dream home that she’s always wanted because Kieffah can’t seem to land himself a job, which really is odd because he has such a sunny disposition and oozes enthusiasm everywhere he goes. In his defense he has shaved off his beard and, well, being high 104% of the time (you do the math) really makes this a major win for “Special K” this week. Plus, you think it’s easy to wear 4 different shades of green all at the same time? I shall think it is not. I shall even quite possibly say shant. I typed both of those sentences with a British accent.

Jenelle thinks it’s a perfectly rational idea to ask the Barb-o-Matic if both she can Special K can move in with her since they will be tossed out of their “beach house” within the week. Something tells this may not go over too well with Barbazon and that something it my Magic 8 Ball. When I asked the question and shook it, the answer that appeared just said “Disastaaaah.”

Oh dear Jesus Claus. Barb is back in her blue shirt. Drink! Also, Barb totally hates Jenelle and can barely hide it anymore. When Jenelle walks in the house Barb just says, “Oh what are you doing here” which is so disrespectful because everyone knows that the customary way to greet anyone who walks into a place is to yell out “Norm!” and raise your glass. Jenelle ends up asking Barb if they can stay at her house and Barb ends up letting them, but there are ground rules which basically consist of, and I quote, “I don’t want you two causin’ a ruckus around heeeah.” And then when Jenelle tells Barb that she’ll be moving back in that same night, Barb just mumbles “Oh Gawd.” Per usual Barb is our unsung hero and has single-handedly saved Jenelle from “living in her caaaah.”

Sidenote, Barb’s blue shirt is the exact same color as the shutters on the house. I wonder if that’s on purpose. Perhaps she likes to camouflage herself on the front lawn so she can lurk the neighbors?

Programming Note: Check out “Teen Mom Takes on the Oregon Trail.” It’s narrated by Barb. Come on, good stuff.

It’s moving day and all of their worldly possessions all fit into a laundry basket. Que Suerte! Things seem to be going well, you know, for the first 13 seconds and then Barb starts her normal critique over everything Jenelle does like “eating puffs” and “playing with Jace” and “breathing.” Then it all takes a major turn for the worse. I mean things get real bad. I am, of course, talking about when some of Jace’s bottle spills out onto the couch whilst Barb is away buying hotdogs and sauerkraut (no lie). You can see the absolute fear of God in Jenelle’s eyes when this happens and Barb comes through the house like a wrecking ball (in a blue shirt) when she notices there is a wet mark on the couch. Barb immediately starts scrubbing the wet mark and shouting “I am pissed, man!” Ba da ba ba ba, I’m lovin’ it. Jenelle immediately blames Jace when she should have just been like, “Well we’re respecting you and not having sex in your house, so when Keiffah sneezed he accidentally shot a load through his shorts.” What? I think that is a perfectly normal and acceptable excuse. Moving on.

Seriously, it’s days like this when I know exactly why I was born…to listen to melodic phrases by one Ms Barb Blue-Shirt. Let’s really take a second to carefully appreciate exactly what Barb was spewing on the front porch and, later, in the house:

Yaw smokin’ weeeeeeed in front of my house!
Don’t you laugh at me in my house you Mr. Disrespectful!
And listen to this…high, high. Yaw both high!
Yaw nuthin’ but a damn lyin’ hust-a-laaah!
This guuuuy is draggin’ you down, Jenelle. He’s another Andreeeew. Don’t you undahstand, Jenelle?
Do you have, do do, do you need therapy?
I love you. Yaw always wit these guys who aaah losaaahs!
You don’t care about me or nobody. You only care about yaw damn boyfriend!

I’m currently in the process of putting all of these phrases onto t-shirts, bumper stickers, the band around my underwear, tattooed on my forehead, written in mustard on my ham sandwich, spray-painted on the Brooklyn Bridge, and slapped across my face. I hope I don’t get sued for any of these actions.

And while Barb’s quotes were Immaculate gold, the laughing from Kieffah and Jenelle whist Barb went on her tirade were almost equally as funny because the look on their faces totally said, “I know we’re supposed to be in this dramatic scene right now being filmed, but this lady is an absolute genius and national treasure.” Even my blackened heart did feel a little bad when Barb was pleading with Jenelle and told her that she loved her and started crying. But my sorrow turned to fits of laughter when she said, “Yaw always wit these guys who aaah losaaahs!” I actually stood up and started to slowly applaud Barb and pointed up to the heavens. The only thing missing from all of these scenes was, of course, her blue shirt. If I were the producers I would have been like, “Cut! Barb, that’s some comic dynamite but can you do all this one more time and with your blue shirt? I’ll go get it off the line in the backyard. Be right back.”

In the end, Jenelle and Keiffah move back to the brick “beach house” for the night. Jenelle is sad because if she moves back in with Barb Keiffah is moving back to New Jersey and she’s afraid that he’ll never come back for her. Jenelle ends her crying fit by saying, “I’m just sick of everyone thinking I’m a sh*tty mom.” Dude, we only think it because we have functioning eyes that see it. Also, I believe everything I see on reality television. Good day.

Chelsea – Wait a second. Chelsea is from South Dakota? Huh? Did I know that? I don’t think I did. So is this what people in South Dakota look like? Like, there are little pockets of Snooki scattered all over the place? Also, where is South Dakota? I don’t have time for maps. I have hundreds of thousands of hours of television to watch on the regular.

I’m now convinced that Chelsea’s dad doesn’t want to ruffle any feathers with Chelsea because he’s loving being on camera. I also believe he loves cheeseburgers but that’s another story for another time. Her dad decided he doesn’t want Chelsea to have to choose between him and Adam. Why? Her dad continues to lose points with me, although he still agrees that Adam needs to get a job. This is all so boring to me. Can’t they talk about tanning more or something?

Later Adam ends up going out to multiple places to fill out job applications all while Chelsea is home with her baby letting her play with her curling iron. I hope that fire rocket contraption is off. Personally I would have been yelling “hot, hot” so the baby doesn’t think the curling iron is a toy and wanting to play with it later when, you know, it’s plugged in or something, but that’s just me…I care about babies.

Adam, the ray of sunshine that he is, is giving Chelsea the verbal side-eye about looking for jobs and possibly having to work nights at a restaurant because Chelsea wants to spend time with him. He ends up throwing it in her orange face that he may have to work nights because she and her dad keep pressuring him into getting an actual job. Yeah, what scum-bags requesting that as an 18 yr old man you have a job! Chelsea is freaking out over all of this because she says he used to hook up with girls at work when he used to work the night shift. Uh, any chance Megan also works night shifts too..also…also and too?

Since Chelsea is afraid that Adam is going to cheat on her she goes to talk to her friend about it. Um, her friend I’m pretty sure is actually just Chelsea but with straight hair. Is this like that episode of The Brady Bunch when Peter was trying to fool that girl who he was on a date with by using his “twin” that he met in school? I wouldn’t put it past MTV.

Whoa, Chelsea has a mom? First South Dakota and now this!? I never made a joke about where her mom was because I assumed it was a maximum state prison or something. Anyway, Chelsea confronts Adam about this boring job situation and she suggests that he works at a junk yard. Seconds later, the words come out of his mouth “No job will ever been good enough for you.” Um, dude? She just suggested you work at an actual living-breathing junk yard. All of a sudden you’re the King of England? He should just work in place where he can sit on a couch and show off his stick arms and tattoos. Maybe like a meth lab or something? I don’t know, I’m just spit-balling at this point. These two are terrible. I miss Megan.

Kailyn – Speaking of people who make me want to lapse into a self induced coma due to repetitive nut punches, here’s Kail! She’s working up a storm lately, especially at the magical place that is Sports Authority and ends up going on an impromptu date with her co-worker Jordan right after work at a place that I can only assume is Chuck E. Cheese’s. I think it’s great that she rocks the side ponytail at every possible moment because it really helps her go from day to night…day being “Sports Authority” and night being “Chuck E. Cheese’s.” She’s very fashion forward and personality rewind…whatever the holy hell that even means.

You know who makes me want to do skidmarks in my underoos? Janet. No joke she scares that crap out of me. She’s like a no-nonsense business woman without the business. She’s just no-nonsense. Janet requests a sit down with Kail to discuss what the F is going on with her and if there’s any way she thinks she can save the relationship with her son, Jo. She kind of awkwardly keeps prying. I was waiting for her to be like “so are you getting d*ck elsewhere, my child?” After Kail explains that she isn’t attracted to her son at this point, Janet lays down the law and lets her know that if she sees any other guy she is no longer allowed to live in her house. My stomach just rumbled. I totally wouldn’t cross Janet. Like, if I ran into her on the street and she was like, “Hey a**hole stop blogging about my family” I would most likely shut this entire site down and move to a different country, like South Dakota.

Even though Janet has this talk with Kail, she keeps up with all the lies and goes rock climbing with Jordan. In fact, she lies to Jo by texting him and saying that she has to work late so he needs to put the baby to bed. Jo text’s back “you suck.” Meanwhile all of America is like, “Right??” at the same time. Most importantly, Kail’s side ponytail is in full effect while she climbs the wall. Is this why a helmet isn’t needed? Regardless, Jo is starting to have a hunch that Kail is a lying tramp. I don’t know what he’s so worried about. I’m sure Janet placed a tracking device on her body when she was sleeping.

In the end (yes, I’m wrapping this up because I’m bored to tears) Kail has lunch with friend and publicly states that her baby looks more like Jordan than Jo. Oh that’s nice. I have to admit I kind of agree. If they were to put the baby in a Sports Authority uniform and place him on stilts I’d swear it actually as Jordan. The baby is definitely lacking the father’s side chronic mustache.

Finally, Kail goes on yet another date with Jordan and the baby which consists of playing basketball in the park. Economical. Jo keeps calling her and leaving her messages, but Kail isn’t picking up. They’re not showing this right now, but I’m sure if a camera was in Janet’s room we’d witness her polishing her gun collection.

Leah – Hey y’all it’s time for Corey and Leah! (please read that sentence again as Leah would in her voiceover. You’re welcome) Ruh-roh, we’re starting things off with talking about the baby getting her MRI. No comment. Corey is going to take the day off from work (shooting animals in the woods?) so that he can be with Leah on the 3 hour drive to get the MRI. Leah is grateful for this because she’s planning on crying and needs someone to “cry on” etc. She’s really planning for a lot of doom and gloom. It’s like she’s starting to produce her own segments now, just like Amber. I’m sure MTV is pleased with her proactive nature. Also, I miss Bint-Lee.

Finally! These two crazy kids are checking out a wedding venue at a place called…wait for it…wait for it…”Coonskin Park.” Thank you, thank you, thank you! Not only does it have the word “clubhouse” on the front of the building, but there’s some random dude walking around in his bathing suit. Awesome. Why don’t they just have someone pee directly on her wedding dress?

Who’s that senator who got caught playing “Diddles McGee” in the bathroom at the airport? Was that Larry Craig? Either way the guy who “runs this establishment” is pretty much him. He looked like he was skiddish and was about to dart out into traffic at a moments notice…kind of like Kailyn’s mom…but with a baseball hat on. Anyway, the room itself was f’n huge. Imagine all the puffy leather you could fill it with?! And the ceilings are so high! They can even get ceiling fans that high up? Well it’s a good thing because I’m sure have the people in attendance will be slicked bangs within in inch of their life and you know you don’t need a strong breeze drying up those crunchy curls! I mean, they’re not animals after all!

Later a scene takes place where I’m having a major dilemma. It’s the one with Leah’s mom. Leah is asking her mom about what she should expect when she brings Ali in for the MRI and her mom (in the same tone as when Leah called her to tell her she just got engaged) says, “Well I don’t know what’s wrong with Ali so I don’t know what to expect.” Yowza. I think someone’s straightening iron got a little too close to the scalp this morning. Plus, how can she have no idea what Leah should expect? Isn’t she a nurse? Oh wait, or is she like a Kim Zolciak kind of nurse? My other dilemma since we’re on the topic of wigs is, what in the holy hell is on Leah’s head? It’s like she stabbed her puffy leather couch, ripped out the insides, and then superglued them to her hair. Ok, so maybe I’m not entirely sure what’s stuffed inside a puffy leather couch, but I’ll venture a guess it’s Paris Hilton-type hair extensions. I have to admit she looked good…and ready to shoot her “money shot” for the final scene of the porn she’s filming in her trailer without wheels. I miss the crunch.

The whole MRI situation sucks. Let’s just say that. It’s sad. It’s not fun. So let’s talk about the hotel they’re staying at instead. Ole! It looks like the kind of place where they have serial rapings. The good news is that they’re in town to visit the hospital, so they can conveniently get their bed-bug bites looked at by trained professionals. I wonder if Corey brought in his pillow from the car…you know, the roll of paper-towels he was using? I hope he didn’t ruin that whole roll as I will assume Leah will be eventually using them as a veil. Go green!

Episode Rating: Cluster F*ck (1 Yawning Ryan, 1 Crying Farrah, 1 Crunchy Hair, 1 Puffy Leather Couch)

teen-mom-2-ratings

Related Teen Mom 2 Links:

Teen Mom 2 Hits Up the Oregon Trail!
Jenelle’s Master Plan With the US Dept of Education
The Episode Where I Almost Ended Up on the Today Show
Jenelle’s Hickeys = 6 More Weeks of Winter
The One With Barb’s Blue Shirt
Teen Mom 2 Season Premiere Recap: Jenelle Fights Her Mom
Jenelle’s 16 & Pregnant Episode Recap – 2010
Join Jenelle’s Moms Facebook Fanpage

77 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

Paige Said,
YAY! You mentioned the paper towel pillow! =) Love it!
claire Said,
The thought of Jo’s mom polishing her gun collection made me laugh until I cried. That was great!
claire Said,
Also, did anyone else catch the comment that Kailyn made where she doesn’t think she should answer to Jo’s family? Um…last time I checked they were supporting your sorry ass. She’s an ungrateful twat.

Oh and when she smiles her chin disappears even more.
gingermandy Said,
Is it me or is this the longest season of Teen Mom ever? Not that I’m complaining but oh my god I feel like I’ve known Kieffah for years.

And what did Jenelle’s bracelet say that she had on when she was crying? “The Bitch?” Something Bitch? Man I wish my Mom would wear one of those. Oh, and the brass knuckle necklace she wore to her job interview. My Mom would be a less shitty Mom if she dressed that way.
LIsaP Said,
i know this is the LEAST of the problems with these girls, but how much dark eyemakeup can chelsea and leah cake on each day. i mean, it’s daytime not a night at “da club.”
Danielle Said,
Does anyone else notice how Leah pronounces MRI? It always comes out as M-R-ahhhhh.
Alana Said,
I hate Corey and his stupid hat. Also I hate Leah’s accent. In fact they’re stupid. Jenelle’s bracelet says: “I’m a free bitch”. Is a quote from Lady Gaga’s song, “Dance In The Dark”. Chelsea: she cute but WAY too orange and Kailyn I hope she don’t become what she criticized from her mother.
Ashley Said,
Umm did anyone else notice Kieffah shaved his face and then the next clip and whole rest of the show his facial hair was back ? Lol
L-train Said,
“I totally wouldn’t cross Janet. Like, if I ran into her on the street and she was like, “Hey a**hole stop blogging about my family” I would most likely shut this entire site down and move to a different country, like South Dakota.”
This is amazing but I can’t take watching another boring second of Kailyn. She gives Yawnie and Yawnie a run for their money.

I didn’t think it was possible to hate Adam any more but this episode sealed the deal. What the hell were him and Chelsea even fighting over? All I could understand was her telling him he needed to get a job and then him replying that nothing was good enough- but that he could work nights and Chelsea has to get over the fact that he has an imaginary night job where he could potentially cheat on her. Ugh, he’s such a loser.
I thought the same thing about Chelsea’s friend. It did look just like her with straight hair…that was weird.

What-the-brass knuckles IS going on with Jennelle’s necklace? I’m glad someone else brought this up since I forget to every week. First step to convincing people you’re not a sh*tty mom: take off all weaponry as jewelry.
dacabsarehere Said,
its good to see i’m not the only one missing bint-lee. i miss ryan’s yawns, gary flying down a flight of stairs, farrah’s craigslist purchases and of course her mother’s trash claw. memories. hopefully this shit-tastic season is almost over and we can get back to walmart love triangles.
Joanna Said,
SO glad you commented on the paper towel pillow and the CoonSkin Park. Immediately I saw those two things and thought of this here blog.

Dear GingerMandy,
I too was trying to decipher Janelle’s bracelets. I do believe the one read, “I’m a free bitch” which is a Lady Gaga lyric. Fitting, because Janelle is a “mother monster.” HAY-OH!

And IBBB-90210/Donna/Ray/Stairs reference for Kail? Please????
IBB Rocks! Said,
Janet is the 2011 Grammy Rumble! Don’t fuck with Grammy!
The Poors Said,
I love the picture of Barb looking up to the heavens with tears in her eyes….very touching. I need a T shirt of this stat.
Joanna Said,
SO glad you mentioned the paper towel pillow and Coonskin Park. Immediately I saw those two things and thought of this here blog. I think Jo should go all Ray Pruitt on Kail. (wink to you IBBB, wink).

Gingermandy: I too was trying to dechiper Janelle’s bracelets and I do believe the one said “I’m a free bitch” which is a Lady Gaga lyric. Fitting, considering Janelle is a “mother monster.” Hey-oh! Up top!
tonya Said,
As always, thanks for the laughs. I KNEW you’d reference the paper towel pillow! That went through my head as soon as I saw it.

But on a serious note, I’m with you on Leah’s mom. WTH? I wanted to slap her. She’s so cold. As are all the medical professionals who’ve dealt with the baby so far. As far as Mom being a “nurse”, I call BS. Why didn’t she notice something was wrong with the baby earlier on? And if I’m remembering correctly, she wasn’t the one who caught it in the first place. Leah did. And why didn’t a pediatrician notice something was wrong at a well check up?

I’m a mom of two, and we’ve dealt with some health issues, although none as serious as those Leah and Corey are dealing with. Watching them has made me even more appreciative to have GOOD pediatricians in my small town, and Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital just down the road. I’ve NEVER been treated with such insensitivty by a medical professional, much less my mother.
heydayna Said,
Why does Janet insist on running Kail’s life? What is she a live in prostitute she keeps in the basement for her son? She tells Kail that she loves her like a daughter…a daughter she keeps on a three foot leash and forces to date her (Janet’s) son. Doesn’t she think Jo is capable of getting his own woman?
yankee Said,
I really want to move next door to Barb. We can have terrible New England accents together and talk about her little bitch of a daughter.
Eva Said,
God I miss April she needs to give Barb a few pointers, imagine if Jenelle was her daughter, that would be the best tv show ever.
KittyKat Said,
The only thing that keeps me watching this awful crap is Barb. And your recaps. Last night when the show was over, I turned the TV off, rolled over in bed and sighed, “I miss Daryl.” When are the real Teen Moms coming back? Seriously, can we just add Jenelle to the originals?

Sidenote: After I ran this morning, I nearly passed out in the shower but kept telling myself, “No! No. You cannot pass out! You have a Teen Mom Recap waiting for you!!!” So, Patrick, you saved my life. Thank you. Lawdy hallelujah. Praise be to Barb and her blue shirt.
Danielle Said,
Dear Jenelle – If you want people to stop thinking your are a sh*tty mom, how about you don’t leave your son when your lossah of boyfriend gets kicked out.
April(Not that one) Said,
RE: Leah’s Mom. My brother’s trash girlfriend is a “nurse”. Her job is to clip toenails and the foot doctor.

Also I’m from Texas and people mostly talk like Leah around here but yesterday at the goodwill, (wink), the cashier sounded like Barb and it was a miracle that I didn’t yell, “Where’s yah blue shirt Barb?!”
B Said,
“Jenelle ends her crying fit by saying, “I’m just sick of everyone thinking I’m a sh*tty mom.” Dude, we only think it because we have functioning eyes that see it.” GOLD!

So glad you mentioned the paper towel pillow.

Chelsea needs to find some self esteem among all the tanning oil and kick Adam’s ass out.
Suzie Q Said,
RE: Gingermandy the bracelet said FREE BITCH. I think it should have read homeless bitch but that is a personal opinion.

Anyone else do a shirt count on Babs? She had a black one with something on it. A solid black one, A yellow one and of course the blue. I think MTV told her to change her shirt more. Shut up MTV we love the BLUE.
Babs should have kicked Kieffahs chair over and asked him if it was still funny. Lets all put together a rally to kick his ass. No one except Jenelle talks to our Babs that way.

Chelsea is stupid and there is nothing else to say about that. I wish they would get some better footage on this wreck.

Kail gave me comedy from the beginning. I laughed at the thought of her going on a secret date while Jo was at home.
After all the secret dating I thought she should have spent that time working overtime so she could move out of Janets house but you get free babysitting where you can.

Leah, there are no words for how trailer they are. They couldn’t ask MTV to pay or wait until they get there money released to have a nice wedding? Anyone else wonder why Corey didn’t back his truck up to the trailer and load the whole family in and take them with? Maybe there was no parking? Or the hospital asked for a minimum amount of hicks traveling at one time. It’s fair.
kerry Said,
I’m wondering if Janet is all smoke and mirrors because where was her iron fist when Jo was having sex?! When will I see her correcting Jo about how he talks to females?
I think she dropped the ball somewhere but instead of ripping Jo a new one she directs all that anger towards Kail.

And yes, Babs was preachin’ last night!
pahtyallthetime Said,
Did anyone notice if Jace was playing with a bottle of pills in one scene? At least that’s what it looked like to me.
Anne Said,
I Googled Randy Houska, Megan’s dad, and he’s a dentist. He’s also originally from Mitchell, South Dakota. Not sure if that’s a well-known landmark outside of the country of South Dakota, but up here Mitchell is a big family vacation destination to see the corn palace, a structure completely made out of corn.
KittyKat Said,
@pahtyallthetime– I noticed that! Jenelle gave him a pill bottle to play with. Start ‘em young, start ‘em right.
Rachel Said,
Janet and her mustache scare me to death too. But does she not realize her son is a prick? I can’t help but feel bad for Kailyn, cause her life is super depressing.

Also, the second I saw the sign for “Coonskin Park” and Corey’s paper towel pillow, I knew you would blog about them! Leah’s mom acts like she’s on Vicodin, or maybe she just doesn’t have a soul.

Jenelle’s bracelet said “Free Bitch” and the other one said ‘”Lady Gaga”… this makes me ashamed to be a Gaga fan. Also I couldn’t help but laugh during Barb’s rant.. “You Mr. Disrespectful!!” Barb is truly the star of this show.

And what the hell was up with Adam’s shirt? If you’re wearing a shirt and your nipples are clearly visible, what is the point? He is so worthless. I can’t wait for next week when he tells her he’s cheated on her like 5 times. What a tool bag.

This blog brings joy to my life.
Lisa Said,
@Anne – I wondered what he did for a living. thanks for finding that! I did some googling myself and found some Adam/Chelsea gems. enjoy:

Adam: f**k 16 and pregnant i did it for the cash

[Friend's comment] Do you really mean this adam?? seriously you have one of the cutest baby girls in the world you should really take advantage of it… and i also don’t understand how people can actually like this status.. kind of disgusts me!

Adam [response]: wut does my status have to do wit my daughter i will always love her but i hate that stupid f**kng show and i hate stupid f**ng chelsea i dont give 2 sh*ts how many ppl like her statuses and how many ppl talk sh*t bout me to her and how many of my friends talk to her they can go right ahead but only a few ppl know the truth bout the crazy a$$ thats me and schlutz and cody so ya i am sorry thats just the way i am now all cuz of her

And in response to Chelsea’s quote on her Facebook page that reads, “any boy can make a baby but it takes a MAN to be a daddy.” Adam posted, “takes a girl to have a baby and take care of it but it takes a WOMEN to treat her man good and not be a complete f***ing PHSYCO!”
Katie loves Keiffah Said,
There are so many things that were going through my mind and all the previous comments pretty much touched on them all.
Now I have nothing to say except that I think Leah’s actual cry should be put on a track to Farrah’s ugly cry face and it would make the ULTIMATE ugliest cry ever.
Katie loves Keiffah Said,
And OMG @Lisa. That is why I hate him.
L-train Said,
Chelsea’s dad is a dentist? Maybe that’s why Megan’s teeth were so white.
Too Old for Teen Mom (but I watch anyway) Said,
I could of sworn Janelle’s bracelet said “Little Bitch”. Maybe Barb gave it to her?

If Janelle put as much effort into her son as she does for making sure Special K has a place to live, she would be mother of the year! Or at least a mother.
Cait Said,
Did no one notice Kieffah’s big plastic bracelet that I believe said “F*ck”? lol
Kiera Said,
Isaac doesn’t look like he’s related to Jo at all…I would ask for a paternity test if I was the dad. Jo’s bi-racial with very strong facial features. I would only assume the baby would have a little bit of that in him too.
Kiera Said,
Kieffah’s facial hair…one minute he’s clean shaven…the next he’s got full on groomed facial hair. Come on MTV, at least notice some details like that.l
JoeyO Said,
hahaha omg patrick you know i only watch this show so i can keep up with your reviews.
Kiera Said,
heydayna

Janet runs her life because she is putting a roof over Kail’s head and probably paying for a lot of other personal items. Babies are EXPENSIVE…Sports Authority can’t be paying that much.
Little Suzy Said,
I shall think this is one of your bestests. Shan’t I?
keiffah4lyfe Said,
has nobody noticed that keiffah wears the same shorts in every episode? it’s kind of turning into a ‘barbs blue shirt’ type deal..
Barb's blue shirt Said,
Kail needs someone to help point her in the right directions. Her own mom certainly don’t want to. Janet is trying. Her son and Kail have a baby together and Janet just wants what is best for him. And I totally agree with Janet when she said she doesn’t want her dating any other guys while living her house.
Leah Said,
Episode Rating: Cluster F*ck. LOVE IT!
Meg Said,
Did anyone notice Keiffah telling Barb something like, “I have money coming in; no worries where it’s from.” My husband, who I thought was asleep next to me just blurted out “meth.”

And I don’t think Jenelle had any tears during her little breakdown.

So the thing that bothers me with Kail is that she works two jobs, goes to school and then hangs out with Jordan for hours. Speaking for working moms, mos of us RUSH home to be with our kids and spend every minute outside of work that we can with them. You make sacrifices to be a mom and given Kail’s schedule, she shouldn’t be dating right now. I know she’s 18, I know she’s immature, but this rubs me the wrong way.
Rachel Said,
My first comment didn’t get posted I might have a Barb-like meltdown.

Janelle’s bracelet said “Free Bitch” like in the song Bad Romance. Her other bracelet said Lady Gaga. Makes me kinda ashamed to be a fellow Gaga fan.

Janet scares the crap out of me. And Isaac doesn’t really look hispanic at all.. They should go on Maury and do a paternity test, that would be a hot mess.

And Adam needs to stop wearing cutoff shirts. If your nipples are exposed, what is the point?
Suzie Q Said,
The bracelet says free bitch
LoveToReadHere Said,
I have to respectully disagree about baby Isaac; he lookes EXACTLY like his grandpa (Jo’s father)! That he would have SUCH a better life with Jo’s parents . . . sigh . . .

Kail is so happy when she’s straight up lying, I wouldn’t have her as an employee and wouldn’t trust her in any capacity. This girl is a sociopath.

I had tears in my eyes as the episode ended when baby Ali went to the MRI. (The twins’ names are so similar–it’s going to be confusing for them all their lives, don’t you think?)

The Janelle/Keiffer scenes were out of sequence–before moving in with Janelle’s mother Keiffer was clean shaven for a scene. The confrontation on the porch was very dramatic–I take it Keiffer was suggesting he “has” a sort of a job (peddling weed) . . . .
Random Said,
PLEASE START BLOGGING ABOU THIS TRASH SHOW MY LIFE AS LIZ. CAN WE START A THREAD FOR THAT?
Victor Said,
I thought that was a toilet paper roll Corey Camo was using as a pillow….it’s funnier that way, I decided.
Dnay Said,
Barb could win an Oscah for that performance!

I loved how Leah’s mom’s hair can be so versatile. One minute its straight….next its crunchy.

I feel for Leah and Corey though. I don’t know if I could have let something so personal be filmed and watched by the world.
IBB Rocks! Said,
I think MTV needs to have a Teen Mom All Star show up next. Screw a Teen Mom 3. Bring back all our favorite Moms along with Butch, April, Grammy Rumble and Barb. TV gold!
IBBB Said,
Thanks all! It’s amazing all of the comments for Teen Mom and some of my other blog posts…but Teen Mom seems to take the cake (shout out to Gary and shout out to cake). I can’t wait for the old season to return, although I will miss Barb deeply.

Is it just me or can no one else not hear Barb saying “high, high, yaw both high” in your head all the live-long-day?!

-IBBB
Katie Said,
Hey IBB – I think I know why Barbazilla is always wearing the blue shirt. I read somewhere that she works at Walmart. They have to wear blue right? Like Target has to wear red? I dunno, just a theory.

Love your blog by the way.
KittyKat Said,
@Katie…we discovered she works at WalMart last week. A Blogging Field Trip is in the works. Stay tuned.
Patrick is awesome. Said,
IBBB,

all day long I just want to talk like Barb. and wear blue shirts. its becoming an issue…..but I just want to say thank you. you make my life complete. <3
Suzie Q Said,
My posts won’t show
Ashley in NC Said,
I just noticed the episode rating and I love it! Nice tough, especially the crunchy hair.
Ashley in NC Said,
*touch
Kat79 Said,
Am I the only one hoping that Megan got pregnant by Chelsea’s dad? Wouldn’t that be a kick in the pants to the little princess.
LisaP Said,
chelsea’s dad is a dentist??? why hasn’t he strapped adam in a chair and given him the marathon man special???
Natalie Said,
I finally got to watch it last night.
IBBB – I think this is one of your BEST EVERS!! I laughed so hard I cried.
Jenelle: I think her bracelet said “Free Bitch” on one side, and then “Little” on the other, and Kieffah’s said “F**K”. I wore hemp necklaces when I was their age, but I thought it was “IN”, in the 90’s. Are they just par for the course for all 16-18 yr olds?
Them getting high in front of the house was hysterical. Barb had to be so enraged when Mr. Disrepectfalll just laughed at her. What a douche. Does anyone know if they are still together in “real life”?

Chelsea: I thought the same thing about South Dakota! THAT is where they are from? WOW. Adam is a tool, and next week’s preview showed him telling her he has cheated on her 5x since he moved in. NICE. Hope she stabs him in the nuts.

Leah: I liked her hair when she was talking to her cold as ice mother. And was also screaming at the TV when she (the mom) was running on about “she didn’t know what to expect”. “AREN’T YOU A NURSE, BIT*H??!?” How can she not have even a clue of what Leah should expect? I guess she clips toenails at the foot doctor, (HA HA).

Kail: OMG this girl sucks. What a horrible, selfish mother. But, she learned to be that way from her own mother I guess. Although I think Janet has a right to give her some “ground rules”, she was a scary bitch when she was trying to make Kail tell her she no longer was attracted to her son. Whoever above said Kail must be just a live in hooker that Janet got for Jo, that is the only scenario that makes sense. Why would she even want this girl to be w/ her son? They need to get custody of that baby and kick her ass to the curb. She barely cared when Jo took him to another state, so she would probably be relieved. From what they show, Jo and his brother take more care of him than she does.

Glad I am not the only one missing last season’s “characters”. I miss Bint-Lee and Debra and April and even Ryan!!
Trixxi Said,
I don’t know if anyone said this yet, but I’m pretty sure her bracelet says “free bitch” on one side and “Lady Gaga” on the other. It’s based off of Bad Romance. I’m assuming she got it at a concert.
Natalie Said,
Kieffahhh’s mug shot here:
http://starcasm.net/archives/80395

NICE!
He and Jennelle were arrested in Jan for “breaking and entering”. I wonder if it was the “beach house” that they were not supposed to be at??

BTW: Jenelle is on the cover of US Weekly this week. She and Barb pose for pics, and Barb looks lovely in orange!
Dani Said,
Don’t you think you’re a little hard on Kail. She is the only one working hard to make a better life for herself and kid. I’ll give you boring but Janet is a rip. She offers help under the pretense of love and then turns into Mommy dearest. Why shouldn’t Kail date? She doesn’t owe these people her whole life. They make it clear she could be in the street at any moment and for the crime of having a date. Yeah, what a skank. Really???? They are using her to keep their grandson within reach. Their motives are hardly pure.

Barb drives me nuts with her constant yelling. Jace must have damaged ears by now. I cringe everytime she comes on screen.
janna Said,
mmm, i agree, i was really sure jenelle’s bracelet said ‘little bitch,’ because everytime i saw it i kept thinking that you would have noticed and said something in the blog.

and kail sucks as a mom, yes she has two jobs but even after not seeing her baby all day she hangs out with jordan, leaving jo to take care of him. she should be careful, i don’t really see that family just letting isaac go when she feels like moving out.
SimplySarah Said,
I am disappointed in myself for not noticing the paper towel roll pillow. Ok, being a Debbie Downer here but how sad was it at the end when they’re showing scenes of all the girls. Leah and Corey are dealing with a major health scare with their daughter and the rest of the teen moms are just looking sad and feeling sorry for themselves. Janelle is crying on someone else’s bed about Kieffah. Priorities!

Anyhow, in next week’s episode it looks like the cops are called to Jo’s house so it should be a good one!
Chelsea Said,
No, not that Chelsea. Unfortunately, I do not tan so much that my skin turns to greasy leather. I didn’t even know leather could be greasy!?? lol Naturally Jenelle’s portion was my favorite part. I do have one question. What on earth does the following attempt at a sentence mean?

“Well it’s a good thing because I’m sure have the people in attendance will be slicked bangs within in inch of their life and you know you don’t need a strong breeze drying up those crunchy curls!”

Am I being too critical? lol Grammar check? That is all.
I Miss Bint-Lee Said,
@Random – Great idea! I’ve gotten sucked into My Life As Liz because it’s on right after Teen Mom 2. My life would be complete if IBBB started a recap of this show.
Joanna Said,
Does anyone else notice that Isaac seems like an unhappy baby? All the other babies on this show burble and laugh and smile, but Isaac never does anything. It seems like he has already inherited his dour disposition from his emotionless mother. I follow Kailyn on Twitter, and she is actually still dating Jordan, FYI.

And I agree with the posters who said Janelle’s bracelet was Lady Gaga. I’m pretty sure it said “Free Bitch” Classy!
Emily Said,
I love this blog!! I can’t wait till each Wednesday comes so I can read it! And I don’t know if the guy who writes this blog actually reads the comments, but the teen mom girls have twitter!! Janelle’s is PBandJenelley_1. And they pretty much follow each other if you want leah’s or kail’s.
Emily Said,
*And chelsea’s too
tracy Said,
of course i snapped up that issue of ‘us weekly’ once i saw jenelle on the cover. dont judge me.

anywho, jenelle says that her and keiffah are through, and that she was just trying to help him ‘get back on his feet.’ heh.

and i should mention that every quote i read from barb actually played in my head in barb’s voice. she calls keiffah a “hustlah” and a “charmah”. i blame you for this voice in my head, IBB.

i was a sad panda when i opened the mag though and saw barb in orange. wth, barb??
Sharon Said,
Awesome blog as always!! Such a good laugh every single week. I have a suggestion for Chelsea…google Lorena Bobbit. That woman knows the meaning of revenge/payback. Think about applying similar technique after he cheats on you the 6th -10th time.
Chelsea Said,
Ami I the only one who thinks that Jo’s mom is being completely ridiculous? I understand that Kail is trying to move out and whatnot, but I think Janet is being completely stupid.
Lynn Said,
Chelsea needs to get rid of that sponge (I mean Adam)…get a freakin’ job already, go work in Stop and Shop or something! If he’s not paying rent, does that mean he’s not paying child support, either? And, sorry, he doesn’t have the body to fill out that raggedy shirt out properly.
Matt Said,
Dear IBBB,

I’ve been watching the past couple of episodes, but still can’t seem to figure out what an em-are-ahhh is. Can you tell me?

Thanks.
Cait Said,
YES, all the girls in SD do look like Snooki and they all take those hooker kiss faces pictures. My husband is from SD and every time he sees the show or even goes on FB and sees his sister, a little peace of him dies. The sad part is that they think they look good, so sad. He tells everyone that we are native Texans in order to try to save a little face. Even his cousin a former Miss South Dakota looks like an extra from Willy Wonka.
Ami Patel Said,
I saw Janet and Jo at the Salt Lake City airport a few weeks ago, no joke. She looked pissed about something.