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Amber’s Mug Shot is Easy, Breezy, Beautiful
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Teen Mom’s Amber Portwood, the less orange Lindsay Lohan of our generation, has been arrested for allegedly (although my eyes saw it via the MTV cameras) beating the baby fat out of her fiance Gary (or Gar Bear has he is fondly referred to around the offices of IBBB) during August 2009 and July 2010. Is it wrong that I’m hoping that she beat him on August 19th (my birthday)? Eh, it’s fine.
Please don’t mind the TMZ splattered across these mug shot. I’ll just assume it stands for “Teen Mom Zone” and, well, so should you. Teen Mom Zone has been told that if Amber, who is sitting in an Indiana prison right now, is convicted she faces up to 3 years in the slammer-lammer-ding-dong. This is practically the best thing that could have ever happened to me, you, Amber, and MTV. Just think. Spin-off. “Teen Moms Behind Bars.” Hi-five me someone!
Something tells me that Amber may be “sexy-dancing” for a carton of cigarettes and might, just might, be “scissoring” her way into the new year with her cell-mate. Please, my little nino Jesus, let the cameras be rolling!
Maybe she’s born with it? Maybe it’s Cracker Barrel?
Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!
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I heart IBBB Said,
Teen Mom’s behind Bars! That is Brilliant!!! Who should we start the letter writing campaign to…
She actually looks alot better looking in her mug shot…
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Leasha Said,
*high fives you* But i doubt she’ll be in there very long, providing she’s still in there now; Her bail was set at $5,000.00 and it’s rumored that Teen Moms make $60,000.00 per season! She’s probably bailed herself out and is doing a little “sexy dancing” for the judge in a private room to get the charges dropped.
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Suzie Q Said,
HIGH 5,
That would make a great New Years headline. Please don’t stop those cameras MTV. -
Julia Said,
Shouldn’t they get a picture of the giant face on her belly too??
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alwayssunny Said,
julia that’s a really good point. i’m surprised they didn’t get one because i think amber’s natural response to seeing a camera is to lift up her shirt.
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beth Said,
A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. Love that she’s in jail, she’s such a disgrace. I envision Leah’s life as being just like Caitlyns. Hopefully she will handle her parents being huge douchebags as well as Caitlyn has. (But without getting pregnant)
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kerry Said,
she’ll probably cry depression and they’ll send her to counseling or something. meh. poor leah and gar.
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sierra Said,
i was grossed out with her who can do that in front of thir children and aperently the baby almost fell out of window cuz she was not wacthing the babay
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essence Said,
i think amber should stay in preison for 4 monts
