Oct
11

Dear MTV, Please Give Butch and April Their Own Show. Thanks, IBBB.

Posted by IBBB

Read More On: celebrity gossip

An Open Letter/Plea to MTV (probably Liz Gately and/or Adam DiVello)

Dear Powers-to-Be at MTV,

I am writing to you to beg you to please (and thank you) give April and Butch from Teen Mom their own spin-off show. Seeing Butch’s gelled rat-tail-mullet week after week has brought more joy to the continental United States (sorry Hawaii) than I can ever put into words. Also, seeing April in her pit-stained “I’m Not Short, I’m Fun Size” t-shirt whilst chain-smoking Lucky Strikes and/or Misty 120’s, and chugging down Twisted Tea’s on the regular makes me want to hit “pause” on my DVR and never change the channel again, ever. In fact I’m planning on doing this and just hanging my TV on the wall like artwork. Mona Lisa who?

Now I’m willing to negotiate having Catelynn and Tyler involved in this project, but I am not willing to forfeit having Tyler’s mom, Kim, and her easy, breezy, beautiful 80’s perm, shoulder pads, and bugged out eyes as a regular cast member. I’m sure you’ll agree.

Personally I’d like to see a show with Butch and April in which they’re given $1,000,000 and are let loose on New York City where they’ll have to go apartment hunting, decorate said apartment, and then mingle with high-society socialites in the Upper West Side. However, if money is tight for you perhaps you’d consider one of the below spin-off ideas:

1. April Heads Back to Middle School/Butch Builds a Meth Lab
2. “The Real Three’s Company” Starring April, Kim, and Butch (special guest appearances by Gary’s mom in her sage-green silk suit)
3. Extreme Trailer Makeover
4. Paranormal Intervention Hoarders: The Butch and April Story
5. Darl’s of Our Lives
6. Drip, Drip, Drop Little April Showers (April hits the bottle again)
7. Glee

Please let me know how you’d like to proceed and the level of involvement you need from me. Keep in mind, Jersey Shore is such a “hit with the kids” because people love to watch stereotypes in motion as a way to feel better about themselves. Don’t you think it’s time to glamorize white trash? You don’t need to answer that. I already know your answer.

Luke-Warm Regards,
IBBB

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15 Comments

Craptastic Thoughts from IBBB Readers!

MK Said,
Omg what more could I ask for on Monday morning?!
Katie Said,
I am all about this show spin off idea. How FANTASTIC would that be to have April, Butch AND Kim living together??? April would walk around cursing all the time, and Kim would look at her sideways with her bug-eyes! Meanwhile Butch can just be standing there laughing and the kid will be making out with the wall!
Susanrenee Said,
Omg yes!!!!! I DEMAND that they make this show…. If they don’t maybe Discovery Health or the Learning Channel will. This will be Must See TV!!!!
Mechelle Said,
Hilarious!!! Found your blog a couple months ago and I am addicted. Love it!!
gingermandy Said,
i feel like i need to be on the lookout for april/butch sightings. i’ve seen april and catelynn at dollar general in town (shutUP, i needed cheap notepads) so maybe i should make a few trips a week. i’ll have my camera ready for rattails and foreheads.
KittyKat Said,
Darl’s of our lives?! I’m glad my blinds are closed because people would think I was absolutely crazy the way I laugh out loud whilst reading your blog. (Yeah, I said whilst…I’m cool like that)
Natalie Said,
You should also send this to TLC, TruTV, and Oxygen!!

TruTv will be your best bet! Butch and Ape are too old to get their own show on MTV, (or maybe they just look THAT old?!?).
just a thought.... Said,
I know TLC is always on board with a train wreck! I think Stacey and Clinton could get in on the action with a special “What Not to Wear!” Darl could get some spiffy new threads (jean vest, Budweiser T shirt, etc) and have his rat tail chopped- hell perhaps they could do something glamorous with his handle bar ’stache- i’m just spit ballin’! April might even trade in her twisted tea for a long island (classier right?) and she can suck it down at Deb while she glams it up.

I think they could even fly in Amber to give them all a lesson on being classy (orange tan, hooker hoops, Krav Mega ass kicking lessons, and she could even teach them a lesson in domestic violence…oh wait…) Amber clearly thinks she is above white trash because before she kicked Sad Pants down the stairs she called HIM trash. Clearly she doesn’t see herself that way….

so many possibilities.
lisa Said,
omg best idea EVER
MK Said,
I just had a half hour conversation with a friend about how we NEED to get Gary Shirley on Dancing With the Stars. Far more entertaining than his youtube audition video for Biggest Loser. If there is a god, this will happen.
Dirty D Said,
I am 100% down for Gary on dancing with the stars ^

BUT OHMYF’INGGOD. April and Butch let loose in NYC with $1 mill, sheeeeit. Best idea EVER. We need to get this worked out
Tara Said,
youre my life.
just a thought.... Said,
PLEASE A LINK TO GARY’S BIGGEST LOSER VIDEO? IS THAT REAL?
KittyKat Said,
@just a thought…. YES, Gary totally did a video for “Biggest Loser” when Leah was about 4 months old. Amber’s shear classiness (hah!) is in it too. Just google “Gary Shirley biggest loser” and you will NOT have a problem finding it!
Adreanna Said,
Or The Real Housewives of the Trailer Park starring April, Kim, Debra, and Gary’s mom… that would be amazing to watch. I really want to watch Deb and April interact. That would be a real treat..