Real Housewives of New York City Reunion Part 3 of 2,093: Are Jill and Bethenny Friends Again?

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Well we’re down to the final reunion for the Real Housewives of New York City.  I’m pretty sure this could be turned into an additional 14 episodes if Andy kept on reading viewer mail from people who think Jill is a b*tch and if the discussion centered around how crazy train Kelly is.  What was interesting to me, as my life consists of nothing interesting in itself, was the fact that we were all lead to believe that Kelly left Ramona’s Virgin Islands trip on her own because she needed to get away from all the drama from the night before (see: breakdown) and be with her daughters.  Well the crazy cat was let out of the crazy bag when Bethenny informed us that Kelly was actually asked to leave the island by the people of Bravo and was escorted home by one of the producers.  Seriously, insane.

I have to believe this, as I also believe in Santa Claus still (and so should you), because Ramona and Bethenny both called Jill, off camera, to tell her that Kelly had a breakdown and they are afraid for her.  Bethenny actually thought it was so bad that she was under the impression that Kelly was going to check herself into a mental hospital as soon as she landed in NYC.  Awesome.  I know that the footage we saw was all 6’s and 7’s, but I want to see the completely unedited footage so, fine people of Bravo, please email those clips to me so that I can recap it.  Gracias.  That means “thanks” in Spanish.

Later we got to see my favorite part of all 15 reunion episodes, where Ramona stands up, gets all crazy, throws her hands up over her head, and starts yelling at Jill saying (in regards to Jill surprising the girls at the Virgin Islands…and then getting kicked out), “You should have said, ‘Alex I was a sh*t head to you. Bethenny I was a sh*thead to you.  Ramona I was a sh*thead to you too and please forgive me!”  Bravo, Bravo!  Literally.  Ramona takes it a step further and does a little “Jack Nicholson: You Can’t Handle the Truth” when she says to Jill, “You didn’t look for a chance God damn it!”  Awesome.  More please.  More.

And just when you think Kelly can’t make an less sense, Andy puts a video montage together of Kelly contradicting herself.  It gets worse because then Kelly tries to explain how she doesn’t contradict herself because she can change her mind any day she wants…and then later she says she does contradict herself.  Bethenny looks like her eyes are going to fall out of her head and I’m almost certain I see steam coming from her ears.  There should have been one camera just on Bethenny the entire show simply because of her facial reactions.  All brilliant.

As much as I’m over Jill this season she did bring a smile to my mean spirited face when she kept on telling Alex, “You were spread eagle in the hallway of your husbands hotel” when they were discussing the difference between Kelly posing for Playboy and Alex’s nude pictures that were “leaked” after Season One.

In the end Andy goes around the room asking who would want to come back for next season.  No one seems to know.  Actually, Sonja knows.  She’s all in.  Jill isn’t sure because she can’t see herself filming with Alex again.  As long as Ramona signs up, I’m happy.  I’d actually just like to watch a show where a camera follows Ramona around and, at the same time, Ramona is wearing a helmet camera so we can see things from her perspective.  Good idea, no?

Finally in the last few seconds Jill gets up and hugs Bethenny as they both cry and Jill basically begs for their friendship back.  It’s sad because it’s a little desperate but, hey, that’s the show.  Godspeed.  Whatever that means.

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