Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt: The Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers of Our Generation

Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers were on Oprah this past Friday singing “Islands in the Stream” and it really got me to thinking.  Truly, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt really are the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers of our generation.  Therefore I thought I’d change around some the lyrics to “Islands in the Stream” so that they were more fitting for Heidi and Spencer.  Sing along with me, will you?  And a 1 and a 2 and a 1, 2 3…

Chin and boobs and teeth,
That is what we are,
Nothing in between,
How can that be wrong,
Sell out with me, in another world,
Heidi’s ugly cry with her mother, ah ah
She got her nose from her father, ah ah.

Heidi when I met you your face was unknown,
I set out to get you some new teeth and new nose,
I was soft inside, I had nothing going on.

Your crystals do something to me that I can’t explain,
My face is so frozen that I feel no pain,
Every beat of my heart,
We’ve got nothin’ else goin’ on.

It’s Enzo party time,
Heidi requires identification,
These two are the worst,
Can’t hold a conversation.
We write the script together ah ah
We play Santa Pubes beard with each other blah blah.

Chin and boobs and teeth,
That is what we are,
Nothing in between,
How can that be wrong,
Sell out with me, in another world,
Heidi’s ugly cry with her mother, ah ah
She got her nose from her father, ah ah.