Mariah is Pregnant With a Butterfly Baby Wearing a Tube Top

Second in line to the official “There’s going to be a ‘Friends’ reunion” rumor, the official “Mariah Carey is with child” rumor has been making its rounds again.  Jeesh, just because an older woman who wears the clothes of a 19 year old Fly Girl and has been prancing around with her boobs falling out and her ass sticking out so you can’t really see her full stomach does NOT mean she’s having a baby. 

I also don’t believe that she’d go to this magazine and say “I’m going to be a mom.”  I believe she’d go to the magazine and say, “Hey lambs I’m carrying a butterfly lamb.  Try it on me!”  She would then do that “scream yell” that she ends every song with that she’s ever sang.

In closing, if Mariah Carey is pregnant, (1) where are the receipts? (2) you know she’s going to name the baby something like “Princess Baby Bottoms” or “Diamonds” or “Precious.” (3) she will still be wearing 12 inch heels while she carts her fat ass around NYC and will also give birth in them…and on them.

Congratulations?