Did you ever wonder what it was like to have sex with a Smurf? Did you ever wonder what the end result looked like? Well wonder no longer because apparently Jessica Simpson just finished doing sexing with a Smurf (the can she’s holding is Smurf protection). Luckily, she chose Jokey Smurf to molest and, well, Jokey is a good stand up kind of a guy so he deserves a little Jessica loving. In my mind, I’m Jokey Smurf but that’s a whole different story.

Anysmurf, Jessica Simpson licked the cake off of her boyfriend’s, Tony Romo’s, face at his 40th birthday. What, I don’t care. He plays for the Cowboys and gets to have sex with Jessica Simpson…he’s 40 in my eyes.