Senor Tom Cruise was out and about in the streets of NYC with his daughter, Suri. Tom is basically holding Suri the same way that he holds a football…not right. It’s like he’s trying to hide something. Maybe he’s pregnant? I have no clue what Scientology can do to you. Anyway, I’m sure it’s hard work trying to carry your kid (who is too useless to start working and contributing to the family’s financial empire), dodge the paparazzi, all while sporting your wife’s haircut. Bangs is the new mullet.

As a sidenote, what in the hell is Suri starring at? Rude. Don’t Scientologists teach their kids specifically not to stare? They do, right? Maybe Suri wouldn’t be so nosey about everything if her mother was allowed to scream during the birthing process. Anyway, Suri is the new Bindi Irwin. Sorry Bindi, hit the bricks you tramp.

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