Well by now we already know that Lindsay has been freed from Camp Rehab in Utah after reuniting with her father, Michael Lohan. I can’t wait to see Lindsay tackle her newly found soberism (is that a word?) one party in LA at a time. Anyway, I didn’t know that Michael and Lindsay were about to get married!?! Is it a little creepy that Michael’s girlfriend looks a lot like his daughter, you know, minus about 34,645 freckles? Is it even creepier that Michael is sporting a Bill Cosby sweater and Michael Jackson shoes? M. Lo and his girlfriend were reportedly shopping at Zales for an engagement ring. Hey big spender!

Anyway, I can see Lindsay’s NYC apartment from my apartment window and always run towards the window because I think I see Lindsay standing pantsless in front of her window. Alas, it is not Lindsay, just a reflection of the sun setting.

What must Dina think about all this? I haven’t heard from her in a while, so I will send this message to her (via the music of Lindsay’s “Confessions of a Broken Heart a.k.a Daughter to Father):

Blogger to Dina, Blogger to Dina,

I am missing you, but I am hoping,

Blogger to Dina, Blogger to Dina,

I am crying, ok I am lying,

Cuz these are, these are

The confessions of a ghetto blog.

Blogger to Dina, Blogger to Dina,

I don’t know you, but I still want to

Blogger to Dina, Blogger to Dina

Tell me the truth,

Do you ever read me

Do you ever read me

Cuz these are, these are the confessions of a ghetto blog

End scene.