As my buddy Andrew perfectly said, “I love it when Paula takes klonopin.” You know what? I do too. American Idol has the craziest cast of characters in the top 12. To sum up, most of the singers crapped the bed. Moving on here are some highlights for me:
- Simon tells Ryan to come out of the closet. Ryan’s tan goes from brown to red.
- Paula Abdul cries when “Doolittle” sings and then appears to be crying at her very own words.
- Sanjaya literally got a home perm. No joke. It was the kind of home perm that my mom gave to my sister when she was like 10 years old. For me it was a toss up between Shirley Temple and Rhea Perlman. While Sanjaya was not really ready for his song, he is ready for the prom with a hairstyle like that. Good for him. Good for Ogilvy.
- Diana Ross continually tells the rocker chick to “pronounciate” her words. Seriously, she told her like 7 times to “pronounciate” her words. Isn’t it “annunciate?” When my spell check didn’t pick it up I figured she was wrong. F7 rules.
- When you forget the lyrics and all else fails just throw up your hands like it was intentional. It worked for Haley.
- Paula insults the audience by claiming that “half the time you mess up the lyrics the audience doesn’t know…the audience doesn’t know anything.” Hmm. Paula, are you the audience then?
- The bald dude comes out to sing. I fall asleep. When I awake, I wonder why Bull from Night Court is performing. I fall back asleep and dream of Markie Post.
- During the final moments of the show I wonder why/how I watched 2-hours of this. I then wonder how about 9 of these people ever made it to Hollywood. I then feel sad for myself.
