Jan
11
11
Ooops! Shiloh Was an Accident
I am shocked that Saint Angelina Jolie of Nazareth (no relation to Saint Jennifer Lopez de las Bronx) did not plan on having Shiloh, or Shi-Shi as I like to call her. In a recent interview with Hello! Magazine, Saint Angelina Jolie of Nazareth has stated,
“I wasn’t planning on getting pregnant, I’m the one that got knocked up.”
That is sweet as pie. But I mean really Angelina, save that type of talk for Shiloh’s 16th birthday card! The card could read something like this:
My Dearest Shi-Shi,
On this, your 16th birthday, I wanted to express my love for you…even though your father and I never intended on having you. You see, we love adopting children from random-ass countries, as we feel better about ourselves when we are purchasing children as opposed to “birthing” children. Regardless, we are kind of glad that you are our daughter, but we are extremely happy that your other two siblings are loved a little bit more than you. So, Shi-Shi, on your 16th birthday we present to you your very own car. You get the 1985 Oldsmobile Cutless Sierra, while Maddox and Zahara can fight like animals over their Bentley.
Love Sometimes,
Mrs. Jolie-Pitt-Federline
